Have you ever been attracted to someone you didn’t know?, have never met?. How about the person you have met, that attractive neighbor who just moved in across the street, whose charm and good looks makes you feel warm and fuzzy, the post man/woman depending on who you are, who is always jovial, courteous and nice, who delivers the mail at 1 pm everyday, and you make sure that you stand outside no matter the weather to receive the mail personally, just to get a glimpse of him/her. The butcher who gives you that extra peice of meat every time you go to his shop, who makes that thing in the bottom of your belly jump when he winks at you slyly and says “Here you go darlin”, with a slight drawl. What of your high school teacher, charming, smart,sexy with wise eyes and a winsome smile, who have you imagining yourself seducing him on a small island far away somewhere, while the sun shines but the breeze is cool, and the ocean plays music softly with its waves from a distance and there is nobody there to disturb you as you have you way with him, thoroughly!!’…and it’s magical because it is so forbidden, so taboo,(no pedophile ting enuh, I am eighteen, he is thirty-two), coming back to myself, as I hear him calling my name and admonishing me gently for not paying attention, while I secretly smile (like the Mona Lisa), because only if he knew, and I think he does as his eyes locks with mine and gently reproves me tellepathically, while I blush, but am defiant!. Remember the movie with the ever sexy Sidney Poitier, To Sir With Love.
I love watching African movies, especially the traditional ones, and there is an actor who is my favorite, his name is Taiwo Hassan. In Yoruba land when twins are born they are named Taiwo ane Kehinde. Taiwo means first-born, while Kehinde is the last one to come. Taiwo Hassan is as black as they come, (I love dark men, even though my husband is Carmel complexion, while I am light skin), Taiwos’s complexion is dark and cool like fine expensive chocolate, and through the screen he exudes sex appeal without even trying. He is muslim in real life, very spiritual and most of his movies are about reality, he is a very fine actor and very intelligent. I posted one of his movie on Embracing Spirituality named, Aso Fun Fun, look for in in the archives, he is the husband of the wives there. I think I have seen all his movies and I never get tired of seeing him or hearing about him. I even told my husband about my crush on him, and said there goes your competition, knowing that I would never meet him, but my husband is secure in our love so he smiles and poke fun at me. Some of my African friends called me several months ago and told me that Taiwo was in New Jersey , attending some Afican party there, knowing that I have a huge crush on him they wanted me to go along with them to see him, but I declined. I want him to remain a fantasy to me, plus I knew I could’nt bear it if I saw him with his wife or some other woman or women, I am very possessive by nature,and can be quite greedy, why can’t women have harems?? I wish I could. Taiwo Hassan is my Lover in my head, yes I know I have my husband and I am not a cheat except for in my head!….What??… boy pickney nice…cho man, allow me my fantasy and do not criticize. I am sure this is the same way for the men also, the same way men fantasize about women, but back to Taiwo. Sometimes at night while my husband sleeps and I lay awake, I see Taiwo come into the room and tells me to scoot over which I quickly do, he then lays there facing me and stares at me in the dark, our eyes connecting through the light of the moon that shines through the window and illuminates both our faces, he take his long black arm and gently throws it over me and pulls me close and I breathe in his wonderful masculine scent, hmmmmmm, we say nothing to each other, we just stare and feel. There are no need for words, we are communicating through the mind. Our connection is love, we have been lovers for thousands of years, travelling together to this earth plane, incarnating together as man and wife…..Always….he is a part of me as I am apart of him…My beautiful Mandingo, chocolate candy, deserving of no one but me his natural wife, And so we lay and stare into each others face, there is no rush, no hurry, just us the moonlight, the noise of the night that are oblivious to us. I feel cool them hot, and he takes his sensual fingers and brushes the hair from my forehead, gently placing it behind my ears, while he telepathically tells me he will soon go, my heart beat quickens at this and I start to protest, wanting to scream, “no please don’t go!!!, I need you!!”, but he calms me by placing his long fingers to my lips and tells me not to fear he will be back. He tells me he will never leave me, how could he?, he reassures, I am his woman and he is my man. Forever!. Then he uses he fingers to close my eyes and I feel his lips as it faintly presses against mine and I pool way down deep, and then he is gone. I hear my husband move next to me and suddenly wakes up asking me if I am alright, I pretend not to hear. Not wanting to break the moment, then I go off into the sleep world,where we meet up again and it’s magic!.
This was a fantasy I had for years of my spiritual husband and it was only until I met the physical husband that I have now that it stopped. For a moment. It came back for a while when I started watching Taiwo Hassans movies. I became smitten by him and still am. No I am not in any danger of cheating with him if we ever meet, because I am not like that, but I would never want to meet him, why tempt fate. The biblical David had declared somewhere in the bible that he would never sinned against God, and did he not do the very same thing he declared never to do when he fornicated with Bathsheba? 2nd Samuel chapter 11. So till him did haffi run go write psalms 51 as to appease God for his actions, ‘Bout him born in sin and shape in iniquity!. His declaration was a challenge to God and God tempted him and he sinned. In the words of Renato Adams on Twin Of Twins parody of him “nutten nuh hard bout dat”!
Often times when you find your self attracted to someone regardless of their ethnicity, even if you have never met or have no hope of meeting that person, but just by seeing them on the television or from afar. They might be married or totally out of your reach, there is a spiritual connection there beyond you imagination. He might be the French President and I am the higgla from down town, and I see him on the television and become fascinated with him or He may come to Jamaica on a visit and while driving through the streets of Jamaica in his limousine he sees the higgla selling her wares on the sidewalk through his darkened glass window, and he has to do a double take, something about her sparked something within nhim, and for the rest of the day her image stays with him. It is a very great possibility that they have met in another life, another time, but have both incarnated to live different lives here on earth. I have a spirit husband. He will never come back to earth, he has been relaesed from the wheel of existence, the birthing wheel,I feel him ever so often with me, and when I was single he was around me more, now he comes when there is danger or when I am very sad, He is allowing my earthly husband to enjoy me, as I had to appeal to him to allow me to live on earth as a human being should having a life partner, which he now has. But he is forever my husband and when the time comes and the mist has rolled, we will be together again. In the interest of not making this post too long we will visit this topic further in another post. Look out for it, as it will be very interesting
When a ripe fruit sees an honest man, it drops…Yoruba Proverb.