Good day one and all, whenever it comes to the subject of religion and moving away from the church and its beliefs or even questioning them its like prodding an angry dog with a hot stick. As I have said many times before, I grew up in the church, I had no choice, I was born into christianity. I too was taught that to question God was blaspheme, and you dare not question Jesus. I as you all know, love to read and so I went on a book quest after coming to America of finding more about God and his only begotten son Jesus. I read the bible from front to back and back to front and again. I was on a hunt. One day while riding into a cab, the driver was an African and muslim and we began speaking about Islam. I really did not know much about Islam, only that their women seemed to me to be extremely submissive and their men extremely arrogant and rough. However I admired their discipline in praying five times per day.
I became fascinated with the story of Muhammad and all that he went through while seeking the divine Lord. The same taxi man later gifted me with the Koran, which I read, front to back and back to front. Upon reading it, I got a little offended that Jesus was “only” portrayed there as a prophet and not the son of God as taught to me. Back then as any good christian my back would arch and I would go into defensive mode if you came at Jesus wrong, if yuh nuh mine sharp mi cuss of fight yuh fi de Lord and den ask him pardon, I was that dedicated.
However that did not deter me from reading it and having deep discussions with muslims (all African people). Then I met a Rabbai a very nice Jewish man who had walked into my business place, by then I had an Real Estate Office, I was a Real Estate Broker, and he was buying a building at that time and we got to talking, he and I. He told me that when Muhammad went into the cave, (Muhammad would regularly go into caves to meditate, trying to become closer to God) and received his revelation from the angel Gabriel who took him on a journey and showed him many things, which was where the Koran was born. The Rabbai told me that the name Muhammad received for God was Ali not Allah, and that it was Ali who appeared to Muhammad and gave him the instructions to write the Koran. Apparently Ali was a feminine energy, and the way how the Rabbai explained it to me she was a water deity, it was rejected and the name altered to Allah, more masculine, (ah suh de Rabbai tell mi anuh mi mek it up).
Upon hearing this from the Rabbai, I realized a common theme among Christianity and Islam, the ousting and degradation of women, the putting down of the feminine energy, I became a little miffed at that, after all God made me and my mother and sisters also, and didn’t the Bible say that God made man in his own image?, or was I to take “Man” literally? It did not sit well with me, but I still hung on to Jesus, even though the same Rabbai told me that as a Jewish boy, Jesus in those times would have been married from the age of thirteen years old, he would have had a wife, again I began to think, “was my well cute up Jesus wid him pretty hair and ocean blue eyes a virgin? he surely wasn’t one ah “dem guys”, no way, of that I was sure, suh in my mind I am listening out for what this Rabbai was about to say about mi Jesus, caws him was certainly going to get a beat down if him try nutten wid Jesus and his 12 disciples and funny guy business.
The Rabbai said that Jesus existed, but his story was a lie to control the mass. In my mind I thought ‘Jesus married???, abomination!! but ah betta married odda dan what broadway wanted to portray him as, the crooked hand gully guys community, and the bible did not tell me so. This I said to the Rabbai, (not gully guys, but de married ting) and he smiled and told me that shakespeare did a remarkable job at writing the New testament, at least some of it and then he told me, In the King James Version, if you count down 46 words from the top (not counting the title) you read the word “shake,” then, if you omit the word “selah” and count 46 words from the bottom you find the word “spear.” Voilà! Shakespeare. I did and found it. Wow, I thought, but I had to hold Jesus dare to me, he was too nice and good, there was no way I could walk away from him, absolutely no way. I struggled and struggled. Then I met Buddha and heard his story, and by golly gee, I saw in him the same as I saw in christ!
I then began reading more and found Asaur, Auset and Heru, all Africans, the Story coming out of Egypt and also older then Christ and these were the trinity as described in the bible, except wrong names and not black. Then I found Mirtha;
then Krishna, and Apollonious of Tyana whose life mimicked that of Christ and his miracles. I read the book 16 crucified savior by Kersey Graves, and then I began to go to Harlem and speak to the sellers of books there on the side walk, these men who sat there in Harlem selling books became my friends, and through them I got even more books and I learned about Egypt (Kemet), Ethiopia (Cush) and Sudan (Nubia) the first three cataracts. I found a book called the The Golden Bough, by James Frazer and Conversation with Ogotemmeli about the Dogon tribe of Mali. I began to wake up, not only to religion and its falsity, but to my blackness and who I was, who my people were and how important we were, I found a book called we the Black Jews by Dr Ben Jochanan and christianity before Christ, by John. G. Jackson , What???. Still I held on to Jesus frock tail, it was hard to let him go, so very hard. One of my harlem friends told me one day as I sat on the sidewalk and spoke with them, they called me their conscious sister and told me that Jesus was not white, the picture of Jesus was of Michael Angelo’s cousin and his family, and then he pointed out to me the description of Jesus in the bible as a black man in Revelation 1: 14-15. He went on to explain the conspiracy read this:
I once told an African in Africa that Jesus was not a white man, I even showed her the bible description, and the woman began to cuss in Yoruba, abomination she shouted!!
Yet still if a white person was presented with a black image for them to worship, they certainly would not, nor would they accept the idea, Insolence!! But this argument is not about Black and white. It is about manipulation of the mind, and how people are so easily influenced with already prepared information. King James did not Lie, for on his book he made sure to absolve himself of any wrong doing, much like Pontius Pilot, when he washed his hands of Jesus death, on his book of lies, tales and Metaphors he made sure to put King James Version, emphasis on version.
Definition of version; an account or description from a particular point of view especially as contrasted with another account or a form or variant of a type or original
King James made sure to declare this. Ah him sey Coward man keep sound bon.
It embarasses me to see my people still trapped, and as our Nunu has written her piece below, I still see her struggles to accept all this which is new to her, yet I commend her for sticking it out and trying, Nunu is here with us faithfully everyday, she never missing yet, never. Hidden within her words are the fear of upsetting family and the what if this really is not so and “if I continue to explore outside of christianity will God or Jesus be upset with me, and this is quite normal Nunu quite normal to wonder and worry.
Yet, I say, if you have found your way onto the site, then you were guided here, something wants you to wake up, something wants you to learn. It may seem as if I am against Christianity and all religions, and I would not agree on that score entirely. What upsets me is that people have been falsely misled and my friend Shawny Rob said to me last week, that people “just want to believe”, it is easier for them to just accept what they came into and that is it. I say, no matter your education or academic achievements, if you are still trapped in dogmas and doctrine, still living your life by what the Pastor or Imam says, then you are an educated fool, one with whom I would not even debate with. I do not mean to be harsh, because I am a loving person, but we have to look beyond what we believe is the norm, perhaps I should not have said that, I am rethinking now my speech, because no matter the education, it is the awakening through spirit that counts, after all God is a spirit, nuh suh? Sophia Stewart tried when she wrote the Matrix (the first one), even though I read somewhere that she was christian minded, how ironic. Then it must have been a message she received, from her higher self which made her write the story, and that we had to know, God is all powerful, of that I am sure.
THe book club must continue, and we all need to participate. Please help me make the school possible, pray for it and come with ideas on how we can plan events to make money to erect a property which will benefit us all. The other people dem support each other, meaning, if there is an idea or something which they believe in they put their heads together to make it happen, let us all put our heads together, come up with ideas and so we can get the school put forward, it must happen, YWand TY, you are certainly a professors there. Cami, mi ah peep pon yuh, lol.
Please remember to mention Nunu and Yazzy, 19 and Mth (de list grow everyday) in your prayers, Please, they need our strength, oh and AMH, she is such a sweet lady and she too needs our upliftment, I thank you!
And Now I present our Nunu!
Becoming Spiritually awake
When I was asked by Obara to write about my views on becoming spiritually awake or on becoming spiritually awake, I had some reservations about doing so because I am not one to share my true feelings about what I believe for fear of offending/insulting anyone’s sensibilities. I must also admit that I am daunted by the fact that the ES family are erudite and make the difficult seem so effortless and engaging. So please bare with me I am a nervous nelly writer. Spiritually for me was religion. It started with growing up in the church and following the precepts taught to me by my elders. I was the dutiful child who did as she was told and followed all the rules. I grew up Baptist and while I did not attend church and bible study every Sunday andWednesday respectively, the dogmas that our church and family held dear was a part of my everyday upbringing. First Sunday was extra special, that was when I got to wear my prettiest church dress( it did have bout 4 sista wut’ a frills), nice “paintent”church shoes and fancy socks with the lace trims and rosettes. My collection plate offering safe and sound in mi likkle purse ( Di same outfit wi sistren Cami fight fi nuh wear, lol, a it mi use to brandish an feel well nice tuh) I would sit through the sermon ingesting the pastors words and then the wafer and grape juice representing the flesh and blood of Christ, and I would patiently wait for my grandma to come down from the choir box to give me ‘cheese chix’ and ice mint. After church I’d go to my grandma’s house for dinner where the adults would comment about how good the sermon was, etc. Ever so often we’d have fasting and prayers and weekly devotions. Baptism preparation classes, church functions, meetings etc. which I would dutifully attend. I was raised to believe in heaven and hell, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, Michael and Gabriel, “the Angels”and on the other end would be God’s arch nemesis the Devil and his demons and they have the task of snatching human souls from God’s warm embrace by any means necessary. There was wrong and right and nothing else in between.The name and the blood of Jesus is the remedy for all things. The Bible holds all that is sacred and dear and to think or say otherwise would be blasphemous and a sacrilege. If it wasn’t from the
good book it shouldn’t be trusted, and to call on or thank anything besided the name of God or Jesus would incur His wrath because He’s a jealous God and woe be unto you if God turns His back on you!!!! Then there is always the threat of seductive evil spirits coming in guise as an angel of light to seek control of human life and lead you straight to hell. Once the rules were followed there was no need to worry and yes there would be slips along the way but the grace of God and the blood of Jesus would be enough to redeem you from sin, alleviate your sufferings in life and secure your place in the afterlife. This was my bubble and I had settled comfortably into these beliefs. Stay in that ‘space’ and every other aspect of life would fall into place, yes that sounds naive but that’s what I got from it all.
Then life just happened along and everything went topsy turvy. This made me start to question certain things and I would ask those supposedly in ‘the know’ questions and these questions would be met by God is testing…God’s ways are mysterious…Don’t question God… maybe your faith isn’t strong enough…and simply I don’t know. All the ‘weird’ things happening to me was my ‘imagination’ and or ‘demonic’. I started to seek outside information, and I’d speak to people that were not of ‘the faith’ Of course I never lost faith in God’s existence but the things I knew just didn’t paint a complete enough picture and there were too many questions left unanswered. I would like to think of myself as an open minded person and curiosity led me to this ES blog. The things that I am learning coupled with the fams open and easygoing nature keeps me coming back. Now I am faced with my perception of what is true and the truths that I am learning on this blog both spiritual and historical. While I can look at it from a logical standpoint with, no problems, from an emotional one there is an uneasiness. There is an internal struggle, a back and forth, which is shocking to me. I believe at the center of it all is fear, I haven’t really fully faced my fears. Then comes the real questioning and with those questions, deep convictions, I would not only have to add to my beliefs but restructure them altogether. This is not caused by force but by an awareness.So now I am not only standing on the outside of my bubble/ that preserved mental box but I am taking a step forward, tentative as it may seem it’s still a step. On Yw’s ‘Curious Look’ post, he wrote something that stuck with me, and that is, “Perspective+Empathy= Experience” and for me, this equates to, not being afraid to look at the possibilities, it is what being truly open-minded is about and at the forefront of that is the ability to immerse oneself into experience. It is relaxing that feel of guilt which stems from fear. It is that level of understanding that begs you to see the deeper things.There is that possibility that there may be many definitions. Our beliefs are in things that our senses cannot readily observe so can we really give a definitive answer where this is concerned. The question might be asked, But isn’t that detrimental to one’s soul?It truly is a matter of perspective.
Agbọ́n tí géńdé rí tó ńsá, ni aláàmù ńṣà jẹ lẹ́ẹ̀gbẹ̀ ògiri /
The same wasps that humans run from, are snapped up and eaten by lizards…….Yoruba Proverb
[One man’s meat is another’s poison; what’s threatening to one, may well be an adventure to another.]
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…..Obara Meji!
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned…..Obara Meji