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THE DISCUSSION CONTINUES-ABUSE AND ITS IMPACT

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This topic is very deep and so I believe that we should continue to discuss it, there is so much more to say. Abuse on every level is never ok. There is none worse than the other, in how they affect the victim except for children who suffer the horror of any abuse especially sexual abuse, and one has to wonder what kind of evil perpetuates these kinds of behavior, how low can a person get!

As a child growing up in Jamaica, I remember a rasta man came calling for my father in the front of our yard, no one was home so I went out to him. I was about eight years old at the time and I had a white sheer slip drawn up over my non existent breast. In my childs mind I had no thought that as I went out to this man, the sun would hit the sheerness of the slip and through transparency of the material he could/would see my body. As I went out to tell the man that my father was not home, I remember him staring at my slip and wondered why he stared so long and hard. I had no idea, that I was exposed, albeit a childs body, but the memory of that man’s gaze had never left me. It would have been fitting, as I suspect he was as old as sixty years old, to even scold me and send me in to dress properly, as in Jamaica we believed in a village growing a child, but in his case he did not.

When it happened, I did not attribute his gaze to anything other thinking “wha mek him ah stare pon mi suh”, it was as I grew and heard about child sexual abuse and, I began to realize that the man stared at me in a way that grown men would stare at a woman of their desire.

I must thank God that I have never suffered any form of sexual abuse from anyone. Growing up in Jamaica, I had a very strong mother, one who declared to the world that she would kill for her children and also told everyone that she had a “Mad house certificate, so if she limb off smaddy c**k she would not go to prison but to Bellevue! These utterances she would make once in a while if she felt someone looked at a young child in our neighborhood wrong,or just as a warning in general, I suppose she knew what she was doing. Nobody tried us, no one.

When we came to America, our Landlord for the building we lived  in was a Jamaican man. He was very nice to us and my mother cooked and fed him almost everyday when he would come by, he was very rich in real estate and other things. He loved her cooking and would make sure to come for his share daily. Whenever he would see me alone, he would make suggestions to me, I was around 14 years old when he began his improper suggestions, he made sure that he said nothing too lewd, but I was a bright child and so I understood that he was “looking” me, as we say in Jamaica.

I made sure to tell my mother, and she in turn asked him about it, not in front of me, he in turn asked me why did I tell my mother. I responded to him that I was a little girl and he could be my father and had no business trying to get with me. I remember looking him straight to his face, unsmilingly and unflinchingly. Then there was Ken, cousin to my mother and boyfriend to my mothers friend. We called him uncle Ken. Uncle Ken would step in front of me if he happened to pass my way going or coming and offer to pinch me on both of my upcoming breast, to which I would reply, pinch me and the whole world would know about it Uncle Ken. He would stare at me and step away. The last time he threatened me to do this act, I was on downstairs while he was coming up, he stopped and said the same thing, I was still at age 14, I responded to him by telling him that he was a dirty old man and I would be telli Miss Yvonne and my mother about what he had been trying to do to me that very evening. He never tried me again.

I often think about those times and wondered to myself what if I was not aware of predators like those before hand, our mother had warned us from an early age about men like these. What if I had been another person, who fell for all that this man (the landlord) offered, or foolishly giggled or allowed Uncle Ken to fell me up and be seduced by them both?, Because this is what child molesters  do, they “seduce”. Often times they are not the “Big Bad Wolf or She Wolf” (SOME DANGEROUS WOMEN ARE OUT THERE ALSO), but the kind and gentle neighbor, or the smiling pastor  be it man or woman or the adoring uncle/aunt or even the playful cousin or the perverted brother.

Taking advantage of the weak, or of someone not in a position to defend themselves or who is dependent upon you for sustenance/maintenance/lodging/schooling or whatever the case maybe, makes you the offender lower than low. Unfortunately for some the trauma becomes something they live with for life, look at the quote below;

“Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom.

But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and intimacy――burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships.

She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery

 

While I do not want to spend time on the topic child abuse today, I must say that it is a very important problem and it seems to get worse, as it is often in the news and as a parent and a human being whenever I hear of it it touches me very deeply, we must keep an open eye, speak to our children/nieces or nephews, we must observe closely and protect the innocent.

There was one lady who told me of her abuse by her step grandfather, which began at age 8, when her mother and grandmother migrated to America, leaving her and her brothers with this monster of a Step Grandfather. The first night, he had the boys sleep on the ground (in the same room) while she, he held spoon fashion in front of him and clamped her mouth  with his hand as he raped her, holding in her screams. He threatened to kill the boys if she told, she did not.

It is very distressing for me to recount this to you all. She said this happened every night for two years. In between that time, she was raped on her way to school by one of the country boys who took her into the bush and violated her child body, this was in rural Jamaica, she had no one to tell. She considered suicide, but was too afraid. She then heard that a female cousin was coming to visit, she was happy and relieved, because she had made up her mind to tell her cousin, hoping that the cousin would take her and her brothers away, from her torturous environment .

When the cousin came, that evening the cousin took her to bathe her, and while they were in the shower together, the cousin also molested her, the cousin as I said before was female, and what is known in the lesbian sex as tribbing (Jamaicans say rub crotches), is what was done to her by the cousin, much to her horror and dismay. One day her mother called, and the dirty old man had stepped out of the room for once in all this time, he always monitored all phone calls, this was when she blurted out all to her mother. The mother stayed from in America and called the police and the man was arrested and eventually charged, the family came home and the grand mother was forced to divorce him, but not before she cursed the then little girl, blaming her for having to divorce her husband.

The stories I have are mountainous. In my role as a Spiritualist/Traditionalist, I am also counselor/therapist to many, so you can imagine the stories I have heard. The many who I have hugged and held as they recount their misery and suffering at the hands of others who have abused and wronged them. What I have found in the years that I have been dealing with people and their many problems, helping them work through them, often times just being an ear, especially in cases like the story, is that long after they have been removed from the problem, or out of the situation, for most, the scars are still there and the memories still haunts them at times, especially for those who suffer in silence, refusing to speak about what they went through.

I have even heard stories of children abusing their parents, beating them, is wha kind ah people dem deh!

This blog has helped me get over many things, by writing about my personal experiences, by sharing and actively commenting on things that I have gone through. I have always been an outspoken person, I do not know how to keep my pain to myself, and while some may criticize me for this, I have realized that being this way has helped heal me and has allowed me to forgive.

We began these conversations from the Ray Rice story and the media attention it has gotten, but Abuse, be it physical, emotional, child abuse,  abuse of the elderly, animal abuse, abuse of any kind is wrong on so many levels and it is a human concern. There is even abuse in the workplace, in school all over, O Ma Se oooo (What a Pity)!

Let us continue today with this subject as it is good to discuss these things and hear each others opinions/stories/fears and cares, and perhaps learn something.

Ty shared this with us last night;

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/23/tanya-young-williams-domestic-abuse_n_5862894.html

Here are some more I found on the internet

https://www.oneinthree.com.au/malevictims

https://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/hear-our-stories

Hey Mel Gibson we did not fort about you sir!

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/mel-gibson-abuse/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/mel-gibson-abuse/

 

Ẹni táa fún lóbì tí ò ṣọpẹ́, táa bá fun lọ́mọ kò ní ṣàna. /
A person who’s not grateful when given kolanut won’t pay his dues if given a bride…..Yoruba Proverb!

[Whoever is ungrateful for minor favours won’t be grateful for major ones.]

All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…..Obara Meji!

There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned…..Obara Meji

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MTH
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MTH
9 years ago

Morning all. I am still reading the comments. Have a great day. Love and light. Teacg large up yuself.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Sweet dreams Cami!

Cami
9 years ago

Good night, Obara, Lalibela, Ty, Nunu,Toy, New name and all.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Are we all set and ready for tomorrow? Godspeed New Name, NuNu & Ty…

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Good night peeps. Going to get a shut eye. See you all in the morning

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  New Name

Well good night folks!

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Obara from night mi si yuh deh reply to Cami an mi nuh si none a Cami comment dem

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Yeah, but you done know me nosey so me muss read, dwln…me gone finish whey me do from day and keep leaving it.

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Good Night Ty. Thanks for your prayers

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Release him yes Teacha,
I totally concur. Whenever I tell my sister and my mother that I have totally released mine, they say that they can never do that. To harbor those thoughts and feelings however, does more harm than good to me, and I am learning to love myself and my child too much for that. Him nuh deserve it ooo

Ty
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Ty
9 years ago

I am off to bed…the exercise class mash me up and my heart full…

I will be in prayers at my altar tommorow for everyone here…I am fasting on Friday from 6 to noon and will again lift you all in prayers…

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Amen @TY. I love your words of wisdom

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I am glad you could release him and what he did, Obara, some people get bitter and resentful and it just break them right down

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

No O…I can tell you exactly which post on here I haven’t read and it’s many posted long before I came here and one long one a few weeks back…but I’m not one that you should say don’t read post.

Anywhere I write about molestation I will always throw out the same lines that you calling me on, about strangers, because I try to lessen that commercial about stranger danger. Stranger danger relates to abductions not abuse/molestation.

Ty
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Ty
9 years ago

Night fambo… Just came back from working out and was catching up…

This topic deep…

Hugs to Cami, Yazzy, Nunu…you all had my heart sinking…I pray that the sweetest parts of your lives are oh so near…that your guides and guardians watch over you….and that the energy of the universe hug you in warmth, peace and love….

As to the duty abuser dem, may they wallow in the depths of the minds and confusion…

Yazzy
Blogger
Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Sweet Darling Ty, thanks for such soothing words. I’m not sure if forgiven numb the pain but LOVE conquer ANYTHING!

Surrounded by exceptional love… is the nourishment a wounded soul needs

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  Yazzy

** forgivesness** damn auto correct

Ty
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Ty
9 years ago
Reply to  Yazzy

We love you over and over again…

The greatest force is love…it makes a tiny mother lift a car to save her baby, it makes a dad take a bullet for his child, it mek me get bringle and want to dun u duty abuser…

Time, love, and the universe will heal you sweetie…

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Thanks Ty

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Ty

You too sweet! Thanks babe and may you, your hubby and sons be blessed in abundance. Ase

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Hugs Ty. I love you and appreciate you too.

Love, time and the universe is so true. To all my other sisters and brothers that experienced any form of abuse, my heart is extended to you to you all. I weep for you. I weep with you. I give of my love and my light so that your wounds have help in healing.

New Name
Blogger
New Name
9 years ago

@Nunu, yuh 21’56 comment mek mi buss one big dutty laaf Fambo, memba mi tole oonuh, mi nuh chuss nuh shadow after dark. Ah since Ogun get older and mi realize sey it mek him uncomfortable, mi stop search him when him come back from anywhere where mi leave him (parents not excluded – an mi still fine ah way fi search neatly, plus mi mek him know di good and di bad touch. As a result, even dakta have a problem, but mi tell him that it is ok as long as mi dere, cawse MOMMY here fi protect… Read more »

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  New Name

That’s right New Name yuh can’t leave anything to chance, too many pariahs out there

Ty
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Ty
9 years ago
Reply to  New Name

New name I second dat…my two boys a fi mi hand bag…if me or Yw no deh Dere…dem nuh go…the only person we have left them with is my father…and I KNoW, he will give his life for me boys, no questions asked…

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Sed way soh TY, Sometime when mi ah rerk and leave him wid mi madda an shi tell mi sey shi going leave him wid har fambily, mi bringle an mi do everything fi shi do oddawise. For one, mi know some ah who shi leaving him wid doan like mi and like mi sey Mi nuh chuss nuh shadow afta dark. When mi cuzin dem tell mi bout mi fi leff him wid ppl an mek wi go out, mi sey is alrite, mi can play muzik an mi an him dance, an if mi waa likka, it iz… Read more »

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
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Reply to  Obara Meji

Yes Obara, parents have to be hawkish when it comes to the welfare of our children.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Big man deh bout weh a rape 5 Y-O girls. I remember as a youth how di big man rape mi brethren 5 Y-O sister. Everybody bomb rush and beat the man and as an early teenager, the act was incomprehensible to me–to the point that I felt bad for the man. It just didn’t make sense… I was bewildered by the whole commotion…

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Night Nyaha

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago

Cami I agree… but Delores put a spin on karma…. she says karma is carry the burden/ baggage around from one life to the next (what goes around comes around)

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Yazzy

I’ll work on me, but I will not release my offender. Forgiving someone is for mild offenses not offenses that tears me up inside and caused my life to go topsy-turvy. To each is own, but I’m not built like that.

Ty
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Ty
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Cami, I respect and love your honesty and strength…I think u are phenomenal ….

nyaha1
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nyaha1
9 years ago

have to log off. Have a peaceful night everyone.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
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Reply to  nyaha1

Ciao Nyaha1

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  nyaha1

Sleep well Nyaha

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago

As a parent you have to be more than vigilant nowadays. It’s like every other person is a predator im seeing in the news teachers( this one especially getting outta hand), pediatrician, babysitter etc getting arrested for child abuse

Yw
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Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

To me, that is why yuh have to be careful in what, how, and if you say anything in this understandably jaded society..

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago

Wow Nile that’s more than horrible! I can never comprehend the father/child molestation worse mother/child!

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
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Reply to  NuNu

Yes NuNu, it is very sad…

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
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Reply to  Obara Meji

Obara, you really can’t take a thing for granted. We had a close family friend who spent most of the summer with us one day I saw that he was bathing my daughter and I went off. Me kindly tell di youth fi stand down. Most violators are usually very close to the victims.

Cami
9 years ago

You know it!

nyaha1
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nyaha1
9 years ago

yes, I totally agree prayer works miracles!

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago

Seeing someone having to walk on all fours like an animal cause dem ribs bruk suh dem cyaan stan’ upright will do a number on yuh!

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Cami, trust me, that father is the worst–it does not get any more disgusting more than a father having sex with his daughter. Mind you, they were Jamaican too and that shocked the hell out of me. When the girl wanted to go an play with her friends, she had to first have sex with her father. This went on for years.

Cami
9 years ago

What a bl******t! him dead? I hope she didn’t let some therapist tell her to seek forgiveness…cause a under the ground he should be.

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I want parents to know that the biggest threat to your children regarding molestation isn’t strangers.

Courtney
Blogger
9 years ago

I always tell ppl my parents never slept they would take turns walking the halls and checking on us kids. I’m going to be just like that I never saw my parents sleep until we were of age. They don’t play no games. No one ever touched me and I pray no one touches my kids because someone is gonna die and I’m going to jail!!

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago

This one is difficult for me because while I’ve never personally experienced physical abuse. Mi live both side a di coin cause from 1 to 5 was ‘dramatizing’ fi mi wid di parents, hard to guh back desso mentally, and den seeing my breddrin and his dutty wife, it’s taxing

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Nunu boo I’m so sorry you had to experience that.

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

I’m confessing it here…I didn’t like me step father (well known fact, lol) and I found it entertaining when he and my mother fought and he got hit with things and I found it amusing when he was getting cursed out. The only time it wasn’t funny was when he told mummy bad words or hit her hard…So, the stick around for the sake of the children pr to maintain that christian household isn’t beneficial to no one.

Yw
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Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

I completely agree with this, Cami. It is better, to my mind, to live in a separated family than a destructive/abusive one…

nyaha1
Blogger
nyaha1
9 years ago

dang, there are some very sick people in this world. Well for the people who are survivors more POWER and LOVE. For the abusers, I hope you rot in the hell you created.

This world is increasingly becoming a sick place. How can we bring back goodness? By this a mean how can we bring back balance, shifting this wave? If you all talked about this ignore the question. I am still reading the comments from earlier

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago

Obara the abuse stories are really doing a number on me! A guess yuh see more of my energy in posts that are are inspirational or educational or even the funny ass post dem and di series posts… but these abuse posts really a mash up mi stomach. It’s like I don’t know where to begin… all I feel like doing is just crying. Like that is my only imput. I feel paralyzed …

nyaha1
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nyaha1
9 years ago
Reply to  Yazzy

I feel you Yazzy. It has taken a toll on me too. I just need to hear something positive, something loving. Goodness, there has to be something good to all this

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  nyaha1

I feel ya Nyaha.

When is forgiveness really that.. forgiveness? Mi wah know if forgiveness REALLY works … I wanna numb the pain!

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  nyaha1

herksss and backup the truck! back it up! I don’t see where forgiveness has any room when it comes to abuse and molestation. I would never pardon (cause that is what forgiveness is to me) none out of the two.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Yazzy

Yazzy, it is hard at time; however, keep the faith…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Yazzy

Yazzy…This is a difficult discussion…I could not post last night because I can almost feel the pain…Then I grow angry and I don’t like to be angry because I have no proper outlet to rage on. So, I try to shut down that part of me…. On a separate note – I would like you to try something for me because it has helped me: When you feel your nerves building up, close your eyes, take a deep breathe, close your mind to all thoughts, and slowly release the breathe…Then consciously slow down your breathing until you feel the pressure… Read more »

Yazzy
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Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Morning Obara Meji. Big up! Mawnin Yw! The whole abuse discussion has had me on an excruciating roller coaster ride! I can’t even say/write/think the word abuse without tearing up (so you can imagine what I’m doing now as I wrote the word. Bad enough I lived this… but I hate that others had to experience it too. Honestly, I wish I could soak up all the pain of my sisters/ brothers that have been victims of abuse in any form but ESPECIALLY sexually! I cannot agree that all abuse should be viewed on the same platform. Sexual abuse, in… Read more »

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Wow!!! @Lalibela
Please share the stories. Although painful to hear/read, these stories have a lesson to them. And that, my friends, I believe is a big reason why a lot of women become lesbians – the men that have disappointed/abused/let women down. Not that I agree, but I try to understand.

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Same suh Obara, I’ve seen vulnerable people get taken advantage of by their ‘comforter’ and then swear seh they are lesbians/gay.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Obara Meji

Well Obara, yes, the women who came to provide the support structure were mostly gay…

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

toy7318, now that I read your comment, I remembered a former co-worker of mine told me how her father–the drunk–use to womanize and beat his mother. She advised that she had a very traumatic upbringing–constant fighting and arguments. Her mother eventually shot, killed the father and burnt the house down–one of those day when he was getting ready to beat her… So this girl grew up a turned a lesbian–indicating that inclusive of her abusive father and her uncle who raped her, all men represented negativity and that she was always able to find refuge amongst women who would comfort… Read more »

Cami
9 years ago

Life rough to hell. A father molesting his offspring is the ultimate destruction to anyone’s sanity. Me nah lie me couldn’t live that done.

I need an explanation for this deprave act.

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

I must say that I am happy and blessed that although I have been the victim of sexual abuse (di crosses pickney puppah – him use to tek what him neva born with), as a child growing up, I never encountered any predators like that. The only thing that I remember is that on one occasion (although very young, around 8ish), I saw my uncle on the top steps looking in through the top part of the bathroom door on us girls bathing. Like Obara, at the time, I didn’t know what it was, but it just felt wrong and… Read more »

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Hey Teach

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Wait!
Oonuh nuh memba da ad deh? lol
Mi know di howsz nuh empty man

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Nuh chue Obara, when mi si di blue one mi seh Cami get new device

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

They change? never knew.

New Name
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New Name
9 years ago

Hello,
Is anybody home? or do I have to tell mommy that I went with the radio and I’m not coming back…

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  New Name

De house no empty, New Name. Evening.

nyaha1
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nyaha1
9 years ago

my computer is having issues today 🙁

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  nyaha1

I’m getting unresponsive page too Nyaha

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Hit refresh

Courtney
Blogger
9 years ago

Good night folks

NuNu
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NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Courtney

Hey Yazzy, Courtney!

Yazzy
Blogger
Yazzy
9 years ago

Mi late but at least me deh ya!

Good night genkle ppl! Mek a guh read. Obara a extra yailmentz fi yuh mi sweetie. Yuh hot topics tooking off!

Yazzy
Blogger
Yazzy
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Hey Obara. Mi late bad but a mi baddi a mash up. Mi wuk every day suh some days mi try fi stay up wid ubuh and knock out as mi see bed… hush.

Mi gone read and catch up

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Yazzy! the Florida heat got the best of you boo? lol

toy7318
9 years ago

Night Yw…I know !

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago

My comment disappeared so I’ll write it again. I don’t understand how parents can protect their kids from perverts when they are underage but when they become adults these same parents will turn their kids away when they need refuge because of an abusive relationship. Mi couldn’t si my kid wid a swollen face or in emotional turmoil an’ sen’ dem back!

toy7318
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

That I don’t know and I really wouldn’t have the answer… the only conclusion I can come up with is we are human and I guess when you get older you come to realize your parent is just that a human being and the things you never noticed as a child you will see as an adult. My opinion. ..

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  toy7318

Yes Toy parents are just trying to figure it out like everybody else. There are things we just can’t understand like why somebody would have to go through something like that

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago

Night Cami, Nyah

toy7318
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Night Nunu

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Whey yu gone?

nyaha1
Blogger
nyaha1
9 years ago

good evening good people.

Cami
9 years ago

Greetings all night comers, heee Toy, NuNu and all who don’t start peep yet. Ty, big up yuself!

toy7318
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Night Cammy!

toy7318
9 years ago

I love how your mom protected you from those perverts, Obara.

toy7318
9 years ago

Nighty night everyone. You know my mom’s best friend’s niece was in abusive relationship for years. I don’t know how it got to the point where he wanted to shot her, he shot her in her head and left her for dead. I don’t know how she survived, but she did. She isn’t mentally stable, anymore it is sad.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  toy7318

Night Toy….That is a sad story. It should never get to that point…

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  toy7318

Horrific!

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago

Teach nuh feel bad si Lalibela leggo lyrical poem up top fi yuh deh! Yuh can bredda up Lalibela yuh hear mumz! Lol

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago

Suppose di man did a guh cycling or gym inna him white tights. Him shoulda find out fuss before him treaten di bredda lol

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Yu can bredda less. Yuh bredda more because twin ah more dan bredda….see it?

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Cycling in Ja in a white tights as a man???????? Yu nuh mean mi bredda nuh good…Sad…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Mi did expect likkle more from yuh NuNu….Sad…

NuNu
Blogger
NuNu
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Lol yw mi haffi come up wid sumn, how else big man a wear white tights lolol, is better yuh did seh cycling fi real cause…..!!!!!!!

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Yuh nuh si sey di bredda nuh righted….Dah one deh did really troubled…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago

Obara? You there?…..Anybody?….Yw?…..Bwoy, yu can shet yu rass. Yuh chat too much…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Ah twin we sey enuh, Obara Meji. Wha Yw stand for….? yes we… or Yes to We…Who is we? We is the trinity. Wha trinity end in? Ty…If we need something New, we call fi New NU….Yu see it?

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

New Nu, lolol

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago

Here is an off topic joke – I have 2 bredda weh bout 1 year apart. the likkle one put on 1 white tights one day an sey im ah go a road. The bigger one sey: yow go change dat before yu go ah road. The likkle one she no man. Di bigger one sey change it or get a beaten now….Either way ‘im woulda get a beaten. Either outta road or at di yard. Anyway im quick time change an coulda lef out…..White tights….Blasted eidiat…

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Yw, yu know say me go pon break after answering to Toy’s horrific story, then I scrolled up and see you and NuNu on this…I start laughing, but not to take away from my reply to Toy me go tek break! dis is too funny. So, a whey him get the white tights from?

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Cami, mi naw lie…Mi neva even tink bout that ’til yuh sey it…..Ah true…Whey ‘im did really get it from???!!??!!!?

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

I enjoy it all!

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Ladies, you are hilarious!!!

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago

Me ago do some administrative wuk and come back.

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

lolol…imagine e now they have weaves for that…grung! Imagine all that and I began cutting off me hair @ 13 and it in my 30s I start growing back me hair…we a funny set of females.

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

haaaalllyyyp u naave nuh behavior. Fling u sweater hair Lololololol

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Sheee…it use to be the towel for me when I was watching Solid Gold and Dance Fever!

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I know exactly where the sunday slips and stockings are kept. Mum never leave those things in my room dresser because I would wear them to school. In Jamaica those things keep in the draw of the wardrobe, lol I use to take away my granny full dress slips as nighty..the best slips came from England. Yesterday I had on me black pull up to me chest slip..lol

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Yes mi still av granny slip nighty! lol towel mi ussi flash. Brb mi waa workout b4 rain come down

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Yu too fiesty! lolol
BTW, you use to rummage in yu mother’s draws and wardrobe mek yu have on that slip? lol

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago

Yw nuh pardon di dread cah if him neva av dutty thoughts him wuda run Obara. Tell her cova up. At her age she nuh kno sheer but him r*ss did!!!

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Funny thing about that too…he may have said something and it puts him in a bad light too.

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Dats true Cami another perspective. But him cuda stap look.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

That was where I was coming from but as Kia B point out he was looking. I have been in uncomfortable situations where I don’t know what is best to do…say something or keep quiet….either way very uncomfortable…

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Same suh mu madda tan. Memba 1time she beat her man wid iron skillet. Dem time wi neva av landline suh mi guh neighbor call her cuzin wen mi reach back di man deh bloody a kalleck him tings. Loooool my fam come see him n buss big dutty laff. Bout shi naffi call dem afta di beating but during suh dem can watch. Lol dem luv it isi

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago

Lol a true man. Writing tun ova!!! u writing colorful, i can see di ppl clear clear ina mi mind. Today i squeeze my foot wen u type bout ur mother will limb off di c*cky. Cho dat dem perverts fi get str88888

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

If ah so den yu dun know…

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

you see how this world functions…if you didn’t know anything about molestation and dutty people you wouldn’t have thought that about the dread,. Hence the death of your innocence.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Cams, yuh have to clarify this 1 for me a bit

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Yw, she knew he was looking at her odd and for years she didn’t register a violation until she was made aware of such things.

I knew something was done to me wasn’t right, but when I started knowing about sex it was then that I became grossed out, a shame and self destructive. Hence, the moment that my innocent died. It may have died long before but I wasn’t “awaken” to realize it back then.

Hows that? lol

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Ahhh! I get yuh. Thank you for clearing that up. I thought the comment was for me but now I understand.

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

lolol…your a daddy so I guess it belongs to you and all parents and maybe past victims of predators. I grew up short of a male figure. The two male figures in my life were my 2 grandfathers and poor papa dem only made me laugh and feed me, but didn’t know I was harmed (I didn’t even know I was harmed)…me sure that one would a put him cutlass to great use. I Love how you say you going to put the little ones to bed and love how Lalibela display his children photos (I’m tearing up…lol). So sometime… Read more »

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

bloody hell with the grammer *You’re* and whatever other ones are on here.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

I have come across quite a few moats, barriers, hurdles, boundaries, and obstacles but I want you to know that you gave me the role of big brother. As I am your brother, you are a part of my family. Let me tell you what family is to me: LOYALTY, DEDICATION, COMMITMENT, HONESTY, LOVE, TRUST… I know you know what I am saying….full 100%

Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Full 100 to de MAX Bro.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago

Alright, mek wi bring it back… I wah chop Uncle Ken and di landlord in twain. Den bun dem rass wid some hot sugar. Di rasta mi a guh pardon ’cause mi nuh know what im did a tink…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Yuh jus drap me pon di floor now

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Ah good lyrics fi truth

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Obara Meji

LOL, I speak the convenient truth and it for that reason why I [we] can go on and on with our praises!!! I actually don’t like reading your efforts when I am distracted–I do enjoy the inserted jokes!!!

Obara, I am beyond grateful to be able to gain access to you on the level that I/we have. I really don’t take such for granted; serious business here. We’ve got a lot of learning and teaching to do and you’ve created a medium for nourishing and correcting the alignment of one’s soul and spiritual references…

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago

Everybody quiet, so dem mus’ gone back guh read….

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

Dwln

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

Obara, understand that your posts are read and I want you to know that we are usually highly touched by that which you write–especially when you speak about your personal experiences. You have a way of bringing things to life in a way that a lot of writers are not able to do.

You just don’t know how clearly your words and energy are being conveyed. Is as if you are actually injecting your memories and viewpoints into my own subconscious–inception of sorts!

You and your words are my drug of choice!!!

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago

Agreed Nile

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago

Exactly. Majority of the time her recollection of things hit ME with a reminder of something familiar and often times if no one else relates to it I don’t. I’m open but there are things I just can’t bother to bring up. Sometimes the hilarious postings are just so you can’t help but laugh and have memories of your own flashing back. And in truth, Obara, if we focus pon dem in comments then the post gets thrown off. Nuff times we decent into some drop a grung moments and forget what we were discussing. There are times when you… Read more »

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Full 100

New Name
Blogger
New Name
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

Me too
More while mi shy away from sharing my story cause I don’t want it to seem like I am jumping on the bandwagon and trying to steal the spotlight, but in truth, I do have real, honest-to-goodness, similar stories.

Thought I was the only one. Good to know I am not alone

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Obara people read man. Is just by time u readn comment yu response may not include the joke. I can say for myself some times i buss sum dutty laff n smh. Yu very witty n comical ina ur writings.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Obara Meji

The truth is not always kind!!!

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Whispers ***mi tink suh too***from a while too***

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Yw

lol,.. me lip zip.

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

e e Yw right, cause we tend to go hard and forget where we started.

Yw
Blogger
Yw
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Sometimes the discussion going in one direction and it hard to tek it back in another…

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Cho, me mention them when I was saying good afternoon and erased it, lol.

I was showering and thought about that, why i asked, O.

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Obara Meji

Dearest Obara, thank you for your kind words!

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger

This a truly touchy topic, violence is never the answer. I have never personally experienced spousal abuse; however, I am mindful of the impact. Though both men and women verbally and physically abuse each other, I have absolutely no tolerance for men who violate women…

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago

Good day Lalibela. No other word but violate suits both parties. I find that men who are physically strong, but are violators are weak in all other area of their beings. While women who violators are weak in spirit in all area of their beings because we are granted the gift of nurturing, so we shouldn’t even be violating anyone.

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Cami

*women who violates*

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
Blogger
Reply to  Cami

Cami dearest, I totally agree…

New Name
Blogger
New Name
9 years ago

Teach, mi naw violate,
but does anyone know how I can listen to Raga/Ishawana’s interview?

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  New Name

Dwln, lolll Obara, should that interview get turn into an assignment? Then we can go on about Lilith and abuse?

New Name
Blogger
New Name
9 years ago

Same suh Cami, mi fuss ah tell, naw leff dat up to natta one

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago

Obara, did you give us the TRADITIONAL spirit story that equates to Lilith?

Cami
Blogger
Cami
9 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Mek me know when she mek appointment. I’ll restrain her neck and slap that tongue back inna har head. Dem problem is that they don’t excel at one thing before they attempt something else. They play up inna sodomy and don’t excel in the natural life.

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