MY PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE AS A SPIRITUALIST-DEATH OF THE EGO UPON BECOMING AWAKE

I have always as a child held a point of view on life and all that was a around me. I held my own opinions, and regarded each individual I met as who I perceived them to be regardless of other persons views on them.  I realized from young that my mind worked differently than most my age, and it made me realize that I was no ordinary person, I was a leader, born as one, not molded into it. A person who took charge and defended all who she cared about, and I cared about human beings very much.

As I grew, this personality developed  stronger and although I wasn’t a bully, I was assertive and went for anything I wanted and I usually got it, I had a positive outlook at life, always expecting good, never engaging in negative thoughts. This personality trait earned me many enemies in my youth, and I wondered why? Not realizing then, that I exuded a kind of strength most people had never felt for themselves before, and also my own self assurance made many question their own. I was persona non grata within the circle of my peers and also within my family circle. I was miss know it all (when all I wanted was to help), and although this term is highly exaggerated in regards to me, I can now see (being older and looking back) how I may have unknowingly intimidated people with my solid display of personality and resourcefulness. I admire people such as myself, I had yet to learn that all was not equal in the world, the lesson was a hard one.

I must admit that I thought I was being helpful, whenever I offered a suggestion to someones problem, or tried to show a mistake a person may have made to them, all the while trying to teach them how to correct it. I thought I was doing a good thing. They thought I was a show off.

Friends ran away from me and I was left with books as my constant companions  (They still are)

I loved to read and I had no friends, so I would stay inside after school and lay in my bed and read after doing my homework, my house chores and after running errands for my mom. Reading gave me a thrill, I loved to read and still do. My imagination is vast and active so I became apart of the books I read, seeing all that the author wrote through his eyes, and becoming the characters there within the pages, tagging along with them on their adventures, feeling their joys and sorrows, laughing when they laughed within the pages and crying as they cried, sodding the pages of my precious books with salty tears. Books became my friends, I cannot tell you the joy it gives me when I get a new book, even to this day. My mother never understood how a young girl like myself chose reading books over having friends and playing outside. So she called me crazy because of it. Well I already wrote a post as to the consequences of  her actions toward me then, read here. And There began my journey!

I began to have my children from an early age, and I had no idea why that happened to me back then, but I can honestly tell you all, that having them, my children, have been a joy to my soul. Having children and beginning my life so young, gave me many experiences. While I went through the horrors of the wicked baby father, I had no idea that I was in one of the most intense classes of my life being with him. He was the most horrible, insensitive, disrespectful, ungrateful human being I knew at that time. (I have since met worse than he). He made my life with him a living hell, yet If it had not been for him and his evil family and woman (there were many, but one who had a child for him in particular) I would not have been able to find the path to my life. Let me pause here for a minute and break it down for you all….You may be wondering where I am going with this post but please be patient with me and read along.

My Life Course

Had I known since I was young, what I know now, I would have understood from early on, the actions of my mother and father toward me, not to mention my sisters and people who I have met along the way. I had often wondered about their dislike toward me. I was never a bad child, or one that gave problems, yet they, after a while changed their love and attitude toward me. I was blamed for everything, beaten and castigated at every turn. It is now that I am older and spiritually wiser that I know that all that they did to me and all that my sisters did to me and also the wicked baby father, the big bad wolf,et al, they did so under my instructions spiritually, they had been chosen for the roles they played, chosen by me. Yes, it is so! let me recap for those who are here reading for the first time.

This lesson have been taught on this blog over and over again. We choose our lives before we are born into this world, and therefore we choose our family, friends, and circumstances also. Our chosen path depends on what is needed to be accomplished here on earth by us, and also our karmic debts among other things. In the course of this choosing, we must also choose if we ought to have children and who should father them, our parents are chosen and siblings if we are to have any. All things in life cannot have a  straight path, there has to be twists and turns, or else how can we learn and how can we teach others from lessons learned? So with good things chosen our well being we must also choose our bad also as our tests. In life Bad always walk before Good. The Storms comes and then the calm.

One action performed by another must bring us into the next event of our lives, and we must endure or manage what is thrown at us, and fight our way through. So follow my path here for a moment, let me use my own journey, showing you the steps I have taken so far, so that you may understand your own. I will begin with meeting the wicked baby father and we will climb from there.

After being thrown out of my parents house for getting pregnant at an early age, I managed life on my own with my child until I met the wicked baby father. He came at a time of struggle for me and pushed his way into my life, I had no time to say no, try as I might, and I did try, but he got the best of me and there I was with him and pregnant again, waiting for him while he did prison time.

He came home after almost a year, I had my son, his first child, my second. All was well for a while until he started to make money. I had gotten a beauty salon, he had financed the whole thing, (this was a promise he had made to me when we just met, he did his time in prison and made good on his promise, upon being released), but upon seeing that, his family, most especially his mother became very bitter against me. Believing that her son was giving me all he had, (this was not so, I suffered many times at the hands of her son, but I was never one to take my house business outside for all and sundry to know). Half the story had never been told.

He had began to make a lot of money and so the women all showed up to help with what they had no idea how it came about, without going into it, I can tell you all that I was his source of wealth. I was young and had a salon, and a rich man to boot, so of course I became all whom I did not know enemy.

He became full of himself and so our lives as man and woman with our children became turbulent. Those years were awful years for me, it pains me to remember, and I must admit that I mist up as I write. I continued to have my children and endure the mal – treatment, holding on to the hope that this will one day pass, he was now the second person to have invaded my body in an intimate way, and I had not wanted to experience another invasion by any other person, having always wanted to be with just one man for the rest of my life. It was not to be that way for me. He had gotten the most awful woman pregnant and she introduced witchcraft into our lives, I did not appreciate it then, and I cannot say I appreciate it now, because the experience was an awful one, but I will admit that her actions,malevolent as it was, set me on my path, and here I am in full discovery of me! .

What she did not try to do to me with Obeah has not yet been invented, a greater she devil than her has never been created. She manipulated my household with her shenannigans and had my household in a frenzy with Obeah, all in the cause of eliminating me and getting the man (lol). I will spare the details of it as I have already written about the experiences on the blog, but it was her bad work and his deceit which brought her into my and my children lives which made me for the first time visit a diviner upon the urging of my mother. My mother was the one to call me and tell me not to sit quietly as I was under attack spiritually, and I was. When the normal becomes abnormal, evil is at work. The fight lasted for years and I was told that if I wanted to be rid of this relentless (B)/witch I had to hurt her. I said no, I would not put my hands in dirt for anybody, especially over a man, and so I got rid of him, little did I know that I was being tested. Time always reveal to us things which we are patient about. Patience is never a loss but a sweet compensatory gain! 

When I got rid of him, I lost my business, and almost my apartment. Things were tough, so much that I had to send my two younger children to Jamaica until I could stand (financially) on my own again. My enemies rejoiced at my hurt, they all were happy at what they thought was my down fall, I had lost everything. They had no idea,nor did I,that I was selected for greatness and the time had come, but I had to walk through the valley of the shadow of death to reap my reward. School for me had just began! My crown was shinning, but it was not the time to wear it as yet

The breakup was hard, I immediately felt as I would have a nervous breakdown. I fought for my sanity. I was plagued with panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and depression. I had racing thoughts and I cried at the drop of a hat. I had lost strength and I could not sleep at nights. I felt pins and needles in my hands and feet, I lost language and the ability to walk without aid. My heartbeat raced everyday, but t the doctors ears all was normal. My head felt heavy, too big for my shoulders, I had not energy nor appetite. I was worried for my children. I cried day and night….little did I know that what I was going through was the death of my ego, I was becoming awake, but in order for that to happen, the ego must first die, these were the symptoms, I knew it not.

Word went out on the street that I had lost my mind, ( I was well known in the town, due to my profession and him). I also thought that I would. Yet I fought for sanity, and it stayed with me. I had to be alright for my children, I would think and affirm this mantra to myself, and I was, I was alright. So here having already had my children gave me the strength to fight for my mind to be intact when it seemed as if I was losing grip. By this time all of what I was going through was my introduction to becoming awakened unbeknownst to me, the first step, removing the ego.

My awakening was harsh, and I am happy to say I survived it, (there are so many things I would love to share with you, but let us pray for the school), many people did not, check the psyche ward, in there you will find talented people who, upon becoming awakened ended up there.

After my awakening,I was sent to church and became an active member in a spiritual church. I had many years before met my padrino who was a Lucumi practitioner, and he used to take me on trips with him to nature. So I had never stopped going, even by myself. I went to the Ocean and the River and in the bush and on the mountains to make sacrifices and I kept spiritual parties all the time. I erected an Altar and I worked it well, I embraced my ancestors and they embraced me as well. It was after a while I realized that had it not been for the wicked baby father, his treatment of me,also his vicious, heartless woman who worked some bad Obeah against me and all the people who were my enemies, had it not been for them collectively, I would not had found my path.

The road to glory is filled with thorns and hidden dangers, though it may be rough, if one can endure, they would smile upon arrival.

I realized, that my mother started me out on my path, when she told me to leave her house. It cannot be easy for a mother to send her child from her house, without looking back at her. I was not alone, my special companion was already in my belly. I was placed in a position to meet the wicked baby father who bull dozed his way into my life. I had three children for him,while he and his family and others abused me. It was my same mother while I was being abused,who pointed me into the direction for spiritual help, yet when I asked her to let me and my children come home to her, so I would no longer be subjected to the treatment I was receiving, she said no! I have often times thought about how cold she was to me,but today I appreciate her for letting me stand on my own, because of who I turned out to be.

Your learn by repetition, and so I have recounted some of what I have written here more times than once. My view on life as a Spiritualist is not obscured by anything offered within this world, I rest all of my assurances on what I have learned from within the world of spirits, which is my source.

I know for sure that life as we know it is a journey, it matters not who you are or how great a family bond you have, each individual have their own path to walk, even the baby just born. We are only here to offer assistance in a positive or a negative way. There are times when you will have to tell someone you love NO! That same No, could lead them to their own path, to success or self development.

As a child learns to walk, he will fall, then get up and fall again. Watch him, he is our teacher, this is how life is and he is showing us the way!

It is prudent to adjust the settings of your mind never to judge. With Judgement of another, dims your own flaw of character, no one is perfect, and any situation can easily be your own, we just have to keep prayer close. If you meet upon someone who seems perfect,there is deceit within, cleverly shrouded, be ye careful. Temptation is a must, be wise in all your decisions, never hurry your life.

It is important to meditate, not only are you taking time out to be with yourself and your guides, you open yourself to receive messages from your higher self, when in deep concentration such as meditating. Prayer is the secret to life. As simple as it sounds, I will tell you that this is the truth. Contrary to what many people believe, for example, you have to know how to pray, or you have to pray in Jesus name or otherwise. This is not so. Words spoken softly or even in your mind, by yourself to your creator whoever you deem him to be, sincere thoughts sent out to the Universe to an encompassing All, will surely be heard and responded to, even if it takes time. But I Obara Meji give you all a great KEY, and it is the secret to life as we know it, although it may sound cliche, the Key to Life is to Pray!

God do not need our worship and praise, I know the Christians will have an heart attack when they read this, but I stand by these words. God is not man! Even if I refer to God as Him or He, it for our general understanding, as most people minds cannot stretch beyond that which it is familiar with. If God was a man and needed worship and praise, then he would have on his shoulder Ego and therefore not worthy to be a God!

God is energy, and the sparks of this great energy is within all of us. We are all connected to it (it being God) which we are fragmented from. If we need to connect with this great power on a personal basis, then we lift our vibration through prayer and even song.Going into our selves, internalizing our feelings, gathering our thoughts and whispering them to the divine who will hear you and return its answer in due time. Patience is a great companion.

I tend to be long winded when writing, and I am amazed at this, because I am serious when I declare to you all that I cannot type, so if this post garner much attention today, I will write part two, as I have more to say, on my perspective on life as a spiritualist. I have not yet began to share my views.

Death of The Ego;

https://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php?story=Egodeath

Ẹní bá gun àkàbà dé òkè máa ńṣe pẹ̀lẹ̀ ni /
Whoever climbs to the top of a ladder, ought to tread gently……Yoruba Proverb!

[Those at the top must tread with caution; it’s far easier to achieve success than to sustain it]

All religion are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…. Obara Meji!

There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji