I have never written a post here wishing anyone Happy Mother’s Day as titled above, mostly because I am usually busy and the day escapes me, since it is not celebrated here in Africa. What is celebrated here is Childrens day. Africans loves to have many children around them, they cherish the idea of birth, children and family, I must applaud them for this. I have received some mother’s day messages from a few, and I answered in return. I had a rough night last night, and because of this I slept later than usual. I always chide myself when this happens because I love to wake up early to the birds singing at my window, I am a nature girl. I had some fruit to eat and sat with my laptop watching You Tube trying to catch up with American news. Yet, my mind could not focus, I kept thinking of the women who were not being told, Happy Mother’s Day. Those who have never gotten pregnant ,perhaps have been trying with no success or have no man to provide the necessary (sperm) for the eggs within. Yes, I got to thinking about those who no one is wishing “Happy Mother’s Day”. Not the ones who are planning and are just not ready as yet, but the ones who believe there is no hope, perhaps too many miscarriages or whatever the case may be.
To you my sisters I want to wish you Happy Mother’s Day. You will argue and say “But Obara we do not have children, we have been trying but to no avail” or “Where is the man Obara, it takes two”. I will answer you and say, any woman who has a womb and is still getting her period has the ability to have a child regardless what science says. Also I want to say to those who chose not to have children or to those who have passed the age (no more period) you are nevertheless mothers, all children are yours, see them as such. As women we all are mothers, why?, the potential is within us, the womb! To the question of the man “Every hoe have him tick ah bush”, there is someone for everyone
For all who are saddened by the fact or the thought that they cannot conceive, have never conceived, or really want to conceive, I Obara Meji am telling you that you can and your will. I am a spiritualist and can only see life as such. Hope springs eternal., there is solution for problems. Find spiritual help if science cannot assist. As a practitioner I have seen many things, been apart of many things. My Osun read here in my traditional belief and practice have done remarkable things for women, she gives children. Fear not, one day you too will be wished “Happy Mothers day”. I would tell you great stories of mothers who thought they had no hope, but I do not want this post to sound like an advertisement, it definitely is not. It is a post to not only wish you well but to give you hope and to honor your womb, which is the producer of life. We women are great, God made it so.
I write this post to greet all mothers with children, but most especially to greet all mothers who have yet to meet their child or children. Have faith my sisters, if you are truly wanting, you will one day as we say here in Africa, carry your baby on your back. Do not despair.
To all those who have never felt baby pain, never worry, if you push forward, you will. You will.
I know there are many different people with odd personality traits out there, (some women are not mothers at all in the sense that they have no love or compassion, and hate children even their own, some will love only theirs and hate other people children) but I appeal to everyone who will read this today. Children bring big blessings, being good and kind to children will make the Universe smile with you.
Be kind to children, yours and other peoples own. If you see them crossing the street and the traffic is rough, get out and help them.
When you pray, pray for the world, and also children who have no love or care for them.
If you have the means, and even your own children, consider adopting a child who needs a loving home, and show love to this child or children as if they are your own.
If you have many children, please do not show love of any over the next, we must care for their minds, their emotions to which humans are subject to and is what shapes us for the future. Their mental health is important, it shapes who they will be and how they will treat people and live among society.
Report pedophiles, no matter if it is a family member or your autistic cousin. The child needs to be protected.
Put children over drugs, social media or entertainment, think of them first.
Mothers, never put a man over your child or children. Same for fathers (in your case , the woman, although the world is changing and Caitlyn Jenner is Kanye West mother nowadays). Listen to your children when they speak.
Remember to hug your children and tell them you love them. I am guilty of this of my third child. I have since made up for it. He was too quiet and I would often forget that he was there.
Parents, you can apologize to your children, they are human too. Saying sorry is not relinquishing power or control.
Be the best that you can be.
For all mothers or parents who have children with what the school or the Doctors says is “behavioral disorders”, or learning disabilities please do not be too quick to medicate them, do your own independent research, before you drug the kid up and regret it later. I am not saying not to listen to your physician, but go for second and third opinion.
Years ago (I was a single mom, young and with no support of family, friends or man) the New York City School system told me that my son was not doing well in school. They wanted to do all sorts of things with him, they suggested all sorts of programs for him, to which I refused (no medication, the problem was not behavioral) I knew my child and I had trust in myself as a mother to defend a child which was a “problem”easily solved by the Board of Ed. To me, this record would be a stain upon him and I refused for that to be. All my family members were upset with me for not abiding by what the teachers recommended, but I did not relent. I refused their conclusion of my child. He was smart, could beat all the video games at every level since he was three (this wasn’t me being delusional, but logical, smart, loving and tough, defender of my child), he did everything early, there must be a solution. I was mother and father, I had to act like it. This must be a mistake, why were they telling me that this boy could not catch up to his peers, allowing them to set him back would be like leaving him behind to me, like abandoning him, when I was all he had, it did not sit well with me, and I would not accept. So I forged into action, I spoke to every and anyone and did my research.
I got the Kennedy Child Study Center involved, where I took him for evaluation myself, without any help from government. I paid out of (back then) meager pockets, God has always been good to me) and what they found was remarkable, big dem up. I took the report to the school (dem was so suprised, this black and woman fighting for her child) and then got child advocates organization involved. They gave me an attorney, a surly Jewish man who seemd as if he was tired of life, but he was smart and sharp as a whip despite his looks., and he was grudgingly impressed with my relentlessness and with the research I had done. Together we fought New York City Board of Education and won. I did this so he would not have on his record something that did not belong to him. All that was wrong with my boy was that he learned differently from others. he learned through imagery, so I invested in Poke man cards $10.00 per pack ( I bought plenty) and all the comic strips in the world. I hired a tutor and got my boy on track, he caught up. He is excelling at life, and I am too proud! Sometime him get facety and mi tell two clatt and we good again. Never give up on your children, fight! I was alone as a parent, but I did well. Thank God, the deities and my ancestors.
Be great parents.
I love you all
Obara Meji is a spiritualist, Ifa-Orisa practitioner, and teacher of metaphysics. Since 2011 she has used her online platform to share her personal experiences to those seeking answers about spirituality. Her teachings will expand into short stories, novels, and public speaking to continue her mission of bringing enlightenment to the world.