Bad Mother? Revealing Hidden Spiritual Causes Behind Toxic Parents

Greetings to all my Embracing Spirituality people. I greet you all in the name of Love, Peace, Unity, Strength and all that is pure and of light.

Please pardon my absence for not putting blog posts out as much as I used to. I have been extremely busy teaching at The Celestine Council Mystical School. Although it is a lot of work, it is fun all at the same time. I have been instructed to keep admissions open for a bit longer, so apply if you will (here).

The topic titled above is very touching to me because I hear a lot of stories where people speak of their lives with “bad” relationships with their mothers. I focus on the mother in this post because it is through her that the portal is created, through which the child is born. Not only that, but the contract of coming into the world, regardless of the father’s contribution, the mother’s major role is that of teacher, and one that is held to a trust position of love, care, and nurture.

Although I have my own story with my own mother, I will not describe her as a “bad mother”, after all she carried me for nine months and cared for me for the earliest part of my life. Even with who I am now, she made all of it possible.

Before I tell you what happened, I must tell you that crab meat is sweet, but to get to the flesh of the crab is hell. You even have to encounter sh–t and bypass it to enjoy the succulent flavor of this crafty animal/crustacean.

My mother was a highly spiritual woman, but she suppressed this part of her because she did not want fingers to point at her calling her an Obeah woman. Jamaican people have a saying “What drops from the head, falls on the shoulders.” This proverb means a lot in the story of my mother and I.

Growing up with her as a child in my born land, Jamaica, was sweet.

In Jamaica life was good and she took care of us. She was not a loving or even tender mom, no hugs or kisses or I love yous (she was tender if we were not well, she would then soothe us and even sing us to sleep, but nothing affectionate otherwise). She kept us clean, healthy and comfortable. We had all the comforts of life back then and wanted for nothing.

Looking back, I now realize that she had some pain within, however she was extremely private and hardly spoke of her life growing up.

She would tell us of the treatment she got from her mother. People say hurt people hurt people but I do not buy into that. It is just an excuse for bad behavior. In truth, Granny was miserable in an odd sort of way. When we would visit as children, she would cry tears, that her children has come, and then the next day cuss that she can’t wait for us to leave. I find this funny and am chuckling now as I write and remember.

But when my sister was born, it was as if my mother forgot she had us– her other children. My oldest and the sister after her, even though I am still not sure that she was or is human because the definition of Demon has her devilish grin with exaggerated eye lashes, small horns protruding through her wig and a dancehall pose (tan up) as a picture in the Oxford dictionary with the explanation: “No words are available to describe this being“, but I digress.

When my sister was born, my mother’s attention went to this newborn. Even though I missed sitting on her lap in the evenings when she and her chatter box friend Miss Ruth would sit on the veranda.

She was not an easy woman, “bad gal” as people would call her, not Rihanna bad gal but real bad gal. My father was no match for her, or perhaps he just did not want to fight back. Yet she would allow him to beat me badly, sometimes bloodied, and she kept quiet or told my father to stop to protect him from being arrested. And I truly was never a bad child… I have never beaten my children because of this.

When I became pregnant as a teenager I saw the wrath of my mother against me. As said before she was not loving and would stay quiet when the ganja flew up into my fathers head and he would take out all his frustrations on me until I bled. American schools saw the bruises on my skin and when they intervened, my parents hatred became worse, believing I wanted to report them. Let me pause because you may be wondering why I am saying “bad mother” when my father did a lot of damage. My mother controlled the household. If she had ever told my father to stop, he would. I’m not discounting him, but she ruled.

My older sister saw this and rode it like a wild horse. She saw the perfect opportunity to ostracize me. She told my mother many false things to provoke her hatred against me, and my mother in turn would tell my father. I was ostracized by them all and left outside like a chaft blowing in the wind.

WHAT IS BEHIND THE SPIRITUAL VEIL OF BAD PARENTS?

But bloggers, listen. Before a being comes into this world, there is a script that they have to write out, a plan for their purpose here on Earth and how they are going to find it when they come. Every human that exists are here for a particular purpose.

And that purpose may be to fix some things that had been left open in a past lifetime, or fix a situation within the family or environment or country or continent. The reasons are many! But there is a reason for being.

Within the script (which is like a play), they have to choose both their friends and their adversaries. The good and the bad has to be entangled within this script. Some of us choose our families to be the ones to allow us to evolve, and at times those roads to evolution can be rough. A mother may have been chosen to abandon a child after the child is born. Or the mother may have been chosen to mistreat the child, and these choices are not based on emotion.

And trust me this child is most often chosen for an extraordinary purpose that they have in life.

As harsh as this may sound, people who have the roughest life, have the greatest purpose.

THESE ARE THE POSSIBLE SPIRITUAL CAUSES BEHIND THE CONFLICT BETWEEN A MOTHER AND CHILD

1. Soul Contracts

In a soul contract between a mother and child (in this incarnation), this contract is made between both beings before coming to Earth. Depending on the child’s purpose, the mother may not have had to incarnate into a physical body, but does so that she can go before the being that is to become her child. This particular child that comes forth, because its purpose may be so great, the mother be charged with the duty to mistreat the child.

Why mistreatment? Why not guidance? Because relaxation is not the driving force of evolution. The more difficult, the quicker the leap upward! If you want to earn, you have to work. A fat, lazy king will only be ridiculed, compared to the one on the battlefield fighting alongside his soldiers.

2. Karmic Debts

In this case, both beings write their contracts that one will be the mother and the other the child. In order to clear the karmic debt they (or one of them) may have from other lifetimes, they are charged to come to Earth together under the same circumstances with just a little difference, to battle it out. Through chaos, they may find peace. If the conflict is not resolved in this world, they will have to come back again, and back again, and back again.

And always as adversaries.

(Read this story for a real example of this).

3. World Teachers

Within the realm of Spirit, two high beings agree to come to the world in the role of adversaries for the greater purpose of teaching through their actions for the family, the environment, the country, or the world. This is so that others may use their conflict as teaching tools to clear their own karma, or to eradicate the abuse of children.

In this scenario, a parent-child conflict may result in a public outcry, or a law change.

However, this end goal had been the Spiritual Purpose all along! We all incarnate into the same soul group, so it makes sense for us to interchange our positions throughout lifetimes.

4. Re-Written Contracts

In this situation, a child may come into the world voluntarily to a mother who may be struggling with something. Whatever purpose she has come to Earth for, the sequence of her journey has become jumbled. Those who watch from afar observes and sees that this woman needs help. Then, a being from within the Soul Group will volunteer to come into the family to either assist the mother to get back onto her course, or take over the mantle. Because above all, the Work is most important.

So the mother’s contract becomes re-written and her life takes on different purpose upon the birth of her child. The action to bring the child in and not abort it, seals her fate of a new contract on Earth. Unbeknownst to her, the child comes to fix her, and also unbeknownst to her, she will give the child hell.

In some way, we all come into the world as fixers! Even if in actual work, we have destroyed something. The end goal is always constructive. But the fixer has to go through his or her experiences too, because the Earth is like a big mud slide that is not easy to wade through. Everyone has a story to tell or more. But it is through suffering that we find our light.

The reason this post focuses on the mother is because the mother’s presence in a child’s life is to teach, to guide, even if the father is present. The mother’s presence for the child is like being born with a mentor, but not all mothers are mothers in the spiritual essence. Some mothers are actually guides, spiritual guardians, but they come into in physical bodies to guide the child with the purpose. The method may not be beautiful, but the job will be!

Some Bad mothers are angels given a job, or selected for the reason of waking us up, though I know there are some monsters out there who have done vile things.

It is normal for us to see a situation and pity it. As humans, emotions rule us, but within the Cosmic World, it is not so.

It is what works! If you have had rough times growing up with your mother (or parent), reflect back and see what lessons you may have learned during those trials. In it, you will receive a clue as to why you have come into this world.

Your mother has given you the code! Find it.

I love you all,

Obara Meji

PS: No matter what your mother has done to you, give her honor. Her obligation to you is complete. But yours to her is veneration.