June 4, 2011 Obara Meji 50Comment

This is a post sent in by Sharlenerose…..I myself had a similar experience with my childrens father which I will post sometime next week as a follow up to this story, I want to thank you Sharlenerose for bravely sharing your story and personal  feelings in order to highlight what you are going through so that others who might be going through the same thing will identify with your story and feel stronger and more confident in dealing with it.

The Complications Of Dating As A Spiritual Female My boyfriend knows I am spiritual. It’s killing our relationship, why, you might ask, because he is a typical Jamaican man and would like to have more than one woman. This will not be able to work with me. What I don’t dream about will walk up and be revealed. He feels like he took on more than he can handle. I at times feel sorry for him because he has chosen me, a being that is not normal. How can he deal with the fact that he cannot just dilly dally with me as he does with his bike. He says my life situation and his is not going to work, yet he is drawn to me and cannot resist. I love him.

 The reality that he will have to face is that he has to take the good and the bad. My boyfriend is not one who likes to talk, he doesn’t like to discuss things, and he’s always saying he doesn’t want to get into that. I have news for him; there is no way he can just walk away without a word, which is what he has tried to do. There are times when I feel compelled to just walk away and allow the spirits to bring me someone else, one who understands and can deal with who I am. Then I state out loud he is the one I have chosen and there is a reason he was allowed to enter my life so let the river flow. I can and I am able to condition him, but I choose not to. That is not the reason for which I received my gift. He tried to walk away most recently, because he felt overwhelmed with the things that were being revealed while he was trying to keep secrets. I had to explain to him that nothing will remain hidden, and that I and special and so different from anyone he has ever been with.

 At first I believed that he was chosen because he is so nonchalant and seemed to be unfazed by my spiritual doings. The first time he came to my house and saw the candles burning at the door set there to appease Eshu, and didn’t ask a question, I was like wow. Then again, when we went to the spiritual store (not a botanica), and I purchased some of many statues and he carried them to the car, reverently I might add. The only thing he objected to is the burning of incense in HIS house, everything else was fine. I talked to him about my spirituality and made light of it. The first day I moved into my new house, he came and smelt the incense and me tell him say me naw sleep in deh without burn it out. The Rose of Jericho sits on my table in its bowl of water. The glass of blue water with Yemaya’s stones and shells and such stand guard by my door. To top it all off, that night I pulled out my cards and told him I could read him. When he picked up a bottle of barbacourt rum and said what is this liquor, I told him that’s the spirit stuff, he remarked I could have poisoned him what if he had drunk it.

 Then after I pulled out some more things, as I was arranging the house, so he said what’s that more obeah stuff, him say Lord Jesus Christ, Mr. X son come a foreign come find mother woman. I laughed but I think that in a way when he went into himself he begun to realize that all this is real. Then he tried to separate. I actually dreamt him riding away on his bike, the morning after I dreamt that he stopped answering my calls. Things have not been the same and I don’t expect them to be. He thinks that I am crazy, and I don’t blame him, because when tall Bongo come to take over him just lose. My spiritual forces are, will be, and have always been with me. I can’t help that, it is something to be understood and respected. This forces him to be at war with himself about his perceived relationship with me. He also loves me because I am like cool water, and can be counted on to let things flow. You the reader have to understand that previously my spirituality has always been private to me, and this is the first person that I’ve opened up certain things to. Has anyone had similar issues, male or female? Let me know and let’s have a serious discussion about my problem, for I fear that my emotions are getting the best of me…Ase O….

The owl is the wisest of all birds because the more it sees, the less it talks……Yoruba Proverb

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Maniac
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Maniac

Sharleneee how u do mama?

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

hello alllllll….@optimistic1….i wouldn’t mind being with a spiritual man…anything he’s gonna pick up…i’m gonna tell him…that’s my problem now i talk exactly what i feel…i will tell my thoughts, my intentions, my feelings….not necessarily about my past, but i do lay it on the line….so he’s gonna know that i am not deceptive…a person like that would get 100 percent because there’s no fooling him…once i am really ready to settle down…but if me a lef him….me woulda haffi come outta the matrix like neyo fi we do it amicably

Maniac
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Maniac

Lololo hush, mi unnastan

Maniac
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Maniac

Obaraaaaaaa, lissen ah di lawws time dis mi goin tawk to yuh enuh.

Mi na mean di spiritualist dem whey karry demself like 2 teet Captain an wawk roun wid dem rod inna dem han an wrap di head enuh….Mi ah tawk spiritualist whey dung to earth and karry demself pappa (like YUH). Yes mi love fimi roots man dem – cyaan manij di odda one dat atall.

Di whole lotta wi na ha nuh hambishan, ole wuklisniss

Maniac
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Maniac

Hi Optistimic1
I personally wouldn’t mind dating a spiritual who has all or most of the qualities that I am looking for in a man just as long as he doesn’t try to manipulate me, watch my every move and try to tell me what to do.

While I wont tell all my past deeds, I believe in being honest and open and if he is MAN enough he won’t use my past against me whenever we have an argument. To answer your last question, yes I have opened myself completely to man (mi did young an fool fool) and he used things that I discussed with him to curse me (its a good thing that my friend knew me better than that and did not believe him – I was on the phone with her when he started shouting at the top of his voice trying to make her believe that I was backbiting her, which wasn’t the case). Lesson well learnt there!!!

Needless to say I drew into my shell like a turtle and have just recently began to push my head back out. The last one I opened up to knows my deepest and darkest, we had a big shebang some time ago and I have not heard him say that mi eye black (aldoa him cudda say it an mi nuh noe) caw mi sure him did have a few words fa mi inna him mine.

I will say this however, I do believe that both parties should be upfront and honest with each other.

Maniac
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Maniac

U si how oonu bad

nubizness
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nubizness

Maniac di website ah gwaan good mi ol a meds ina di night ya woiieeeeee…..wait mi soon bruck whey and bus a dutty wine…..

Maniac
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Maniac

Mr. Splendidddddddddd
Whey yuh did deh man? Long time….

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

Obara weh yuh deh. Whappen to di complications or di onsequences of dating a spiritual man. Mi email yu and yu never answer mi back. Mi have some news fi yuh Obara mi tink seh mi might tun Dj.

Maniac
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Maniac

Sharlenerose don’t know if u like reggae like me….but log on to this website (Obara I’m sure u wont mind)…. Pondends.com
Is it mi here lissening to an ah buil ah vibes

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

@maniac…me alright mama…me skin tough…tears are just a momentary lapse…sometimes u have u own problems but being spiritual so many people lean on u and look to u to uplift their mood and u just put aside your own and do the job you were put here to do which is to be a lightworker…the ultimate goal is to have my ancestors elevate while elevating myself…so hopefully me no haffi come back ya so…zeen….so even though my heart may be broken or pain is what i’m feeling mi likkle friend come check me and she aries like me….young…she and de man kick off she tell him fi go dig up him dead mother and play wid the ashes….jah know ah dem ting dem me a try avoid from tell da youth yah so me a tek it easy….it is and always will be a learning experience….how can you help someone to conquer heartbreak if you’ve never felt it, right?

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

hellooooo. me…sharlenerose in de building….jussa listen some tune and u no de spirit a say…”hahaha we laugh wid dem…sykes man a use cause a crasses dem…jussa pump some jah vinci and a hold a medi…dont

Maniac
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Maniac

Nubizness u mad enuh

Nubizness
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Nubizness

Real badman nuh model inna shorts
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Everybody haffi ask weh mi get mi Clarks…..ah!

Maniac
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Maniac

SHARLENEROSE whey u deh mama??? U alrite?

Maniac
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Maniac

Aiyeeee nuh badda mi….Eeee come look fi mi all pon Satdeh an inna dress pants an shut, di ongle ting missin ah di tie….man GTFOH

Maniac
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Maniac

Obara nuh badda enuh, tink mi nuh noe u ah choe wud pon mi……Lady Saw to di werl…..If him leff ah nuh my p*^%* fault, woieeee

One big head spliff an 2 guiness deh… Ah soh mi like dem 2, cyaan badda wid di stuchi dem atalll Nope, not me. Can u himajin mi an him ah duggu duggu an him deh pon tap ah mi wid him perfek hinglish….Not a claat

Nubizness
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Nubizness

BAP BAP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obara ah suh we do it! dwl @ one teeth. Obarah mi seh mine di grung dutty. mi belly

Maniac
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Maniac

{{{{Hugs}}}}} for you Sharlenerose

Nubizness
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Nubizness

Maniac you are so right, I do the same thing, Sharlenerose crying is good, you are accepting what is, your cleansing your soul. Life is not always an easy journey; it can be an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs brought on by what we perceives as unfair situations. When experiencing deep emotional pain it can feel unbearable in that moment….. However, each moment of sorrow brings us closer to discovering the essence of who we really are. It will pass.

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

dwl…lol

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

that is beautiful because you know that he was Spirit sent and God given…my only problem is i’m over meeting people and i do pick, choose and refuse…but i ask my ancestors to help me to discern who is seasonal and who is permanent because i am not one to be giving out chances or free passes, i’m getting older now and most Jamaican men are afraid of spiritual people in general…so attimes that’s a drawback but im learning daily…and i can seriously say that this relationship has been a lesson for me…not only in patience but also in temperament…and so i know he was brought into my life for a reason…because me is a girl, spiritual or not whe wi send a bwoy up under him madda, and all manners of tings, typical aries temper, and trust me…me hold it….people unno pray fi me seh me mek him gwaan widout dip up under him.

Nubizness
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Nubizness

DWL….Obara u is a mad wise uman…..hook nose ooman..whoa..yuh fi tell Sharlenerose da story of how yuh did ah dream yuh husband long before yuh meet him….dats a good one Obara!

Maniac
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Maniac

Sharlenerose mi heart ah tear up fi yuh. Be strong, cry if u must, bawl if you feel like to. I dont like anyone to see me cry so when stress tek mi, if mi son is with me, mi goh inna di showa an cry…when I’m by myself I sit on the carpet an holla….it usually helps and I feel much better afterwards.

Nubizness
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Nubizness

Well said @ Sharlenerose….thank you Obara

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

*towards me

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

Hi all, i have reached the end of the road. It’s too much and one thing about me what i hate the most is not knowing; whereas sometimes i am able to know too much….@Maniac…honey that is the same thing i’m saying…i don’t know if i am/was in a relationship with him because of these things. Yes, that does hurt, but i think that my spirituality allows me also to step away and clear my mind and regroup…because if you knew me you would think that i am am very strong. I don’t really show my emotions alot…my sensitivity is personal and so no man has ever seen my cry…except this one…for example i was trying to find an apartment and was having no luck and we, he and i, drove around for a day…and when night came down and i realized another day had passed and i silently began to cry as we were driving…and i held my head down because i didn’t want him to see…but he knew and he felt it and he put his arm around me and started rubbing my shoulder and we drove that way till we got home…and i loved him for that…he never said a word he was just there for me and i appreciated it, so for him to just turn around and become antisocial towards him was/is like a knife in my back. I am flabbergasted. @ Nubizness, thanks for those words right now as i sstarted to read you guy’s response tears are coming to my eyes because i already know, but yes it opens my mind to be able to hear that from someone else…how the saying go “if you love something let it go, if it belongs to you it will come back to you”. That’s where i am at the letting go stage, i’ve been there for quite awhile now and as my father would say…the time is now.

Nubizness
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Nubizness

One can imagine it would be hard being a spiritual woman and trying to date, however if a man is not ready to accept your spirituality then perhaps he was not chosen for you. Being one that is intuned with her spirituality I strongly believe in destiny at some point I will share my story of destiny with Obara’s help….. Sharlenerose just as the wind blew this man into your life so he shall be blown out…perhaps more will come perhaps not. Just know that what will be for you is for you and can nothing stop it not even you being a spiritual woman….God, Olodumare, Orisha’s, your spirit guide all know your destiny and have your best interest at heart. I know you, know this but sometimes if someone tells you its always nice to hear….life may be lonely at times but at the end of the day they are always with you.

Maniac
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Maniac

Aye sah!!! Sharlenerose, tenk yuh mama…I’m sure there are others with similar stories to this.

The guy that I was/am (not sure which) dating once said to me that I go to my bed and wake up and know that people did things that they had no business doing. I remember dreaming stuff and asking him about them, which he of course denied and telling him of similar experiences with my son’s father. What do u do? How do u deal with it?

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