MY EXPOSURE TO SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS …where I boldly go I’ve been here before. Oh my God, have I been here before, waking up to realize that once again, someone had tried to compromise my spirituality. Why is it that no matter how hard I tried to get out of darkness, these forces were continuously trying to suck me in. I always think about Lauryn Hill’s song,” I been here before, it’s not a battle, this is war.
Somebody just violated me spiritually, again, leads me to ask, if I was born spiritual, and have walked with spirits for all of my life, how long do you think you can fool me? Do you know that “my” spirits are real and you will be found out? How long do you have to keep me mired in deceit and your web of intrigue? I don’t know if it is because I have the tendency to trust people and believe in people why I am continuously being taken advantage of in more ways than one. In some cases, one should be able to admit they made a mistake and move on. You think that my spirituality is hinged on you and what you tell me, so I’ll forever follow you blindly, that may have been so for others, but not me. A thousand mile trip begins with one step. A thousand miles to come back from where I have been led, and it was my ancestors that forced me to take that first step. When I speak on ancestors, I am talking about a person from whom one is descended, especially if more remote than a grandparent; a forebear. These are the ones that travel with you in incarnations of your life, as well as departed family members you wish to honor. I claim my ancestors and the Orisa that have walked with me before time. Centuries ago when I was a man in a different incarnation they were there, and they are still here. Over and over I have been here before.
GOING Through the Valley of Bacas. There have been three major violations in my life so far, the first I will call the valley of Bacas. After my time with Bacas my spirits led me to a Bible passage Psalm 84 verse 6, states they passed through the valley of baca, making it a spring. Who passing through the valley of Baca – This is one of the most difficult verses in the Book of Psalms, and has been, of course, very variously interpreted. The Septuagint and the Latin Vulgate, Luther, and Professor Alexander, render it a valley of tears. The word “Baca” (בכא bâkâ’) means properly weeping, lamentation; and then it is given to a certain tree – not probably a mulberry tree, but some species of balsam – from its weeping; that is, because it seemed to distil tears, or drops of balsam resembling tears in size and appearance. The true rendering is, “valley of lamentation,” or weeping; and it may have reference to some lonely valley in Palestine – where there was no water – a gloomy way – through which those commonly passed who went up to the place of worship. Though they pass through this barren and desert place, they would not fear evil, knowing that God wouldst supply all their wants; and even in the sandy desert cause them to find pools of water, in consequence of which they shall advance with renewed strength, and shall meet with the God of Israel in Zion. Ase.
Bacas stated that it was his intention to help me. This was sometime in 1997, and I would spend lengths of time on the phone with this man I had never met. I fell in love with him spiritually, even though in each conversation we had, the spirit would talk in my head and say “him a batty man”; I shut that out, because it did not matter to me. Bacas wanted me to sit at his feet where he would share his occult knowledge with me, he told me that my spirit wanted me to be on a certain path, where I could not have sex for three years, I was not allowed to lie, for whatever lie I told would come true. He was so strict and rigid, I felt as if I was under bondage and my spirit was vexed at this forced form of slavery. I couldn’t keep any friends because everyone was a walking danger for me to pick up some crosses from. I had met a girl and gotten close to her at work, he said I had to separate myself. While he was telling me this, he said me hear you a laugh after me, I said, I did not laugh, he said not you, your spirit. Your spirit says you have to love people. This is also what makes me vulnerable, but I will not stop loving and losing myself in others till it kills me.
Bacas had a landlord that he wanted me to use my spiritual abilities to murder among other things. Every time he gave me some instruction the spirit would rebel and talk in my head and say, I do not want to do this, needless to say, that was a disaster, epic fail for Bacas. He taught me many things about the left hand path and how to accomplish certain things. I must say that apart from the murder part bacas seemed to walk a tight line and he talked about God and other things. I’m going to tell you like I told Bacas, when a person says God, it doesn’t mean they are talking about the God of whom you speak. This is one of the reasons why I am glad to be able to embrace my African tradition, for when I say Oludumare then everyone will know of whom I speak.
After about ten months in the presence of bacas and a whole lot of disobedience from me, my spirit decided I had learned enough at this school and they removed me. Bacas could not bring me to heel, and at first I experienced real fear, at times I thought I was going mad, but when he made the realization of what he was dealing with he let me go without a fight. In those days I had just became spiritually awake, and one of my ancestors came to me in a dream saying she had to take care of me, and my spirits manifested and showed bacas they were real. I have embraced my African lineage from birth, my first poem at the age of like six, was Black is the color of my skin. My father changed not only his, but me and my sister’s name to an African name from I was around twelve years old. My African spirits know by which name to call me, they know who I am. I went to a babalawo before I met Bacas, and he wanted to know what had I done to receive an African name. It was not just three months ago that I start talking about my African lineage, trust me. In the next violation when I talk about Marie rose, I will tell you how she put Sango beads around my neck and the spirit burst them right away. She had to come again with SEVEN AFRICAN POWERS. One spirit does not encompass me; it is a plethora of spiritual beings that are here with me in this incarnation. Plus with Ogun and Sango both with me and fighting over my head, how you could dare place Sango on me and I am not anywhere being initiated. These people don’t know what they are playing with. Towards the end of our association, I had to specifically remind Bacas that I was from a long line of Africans. He was trying to keep me in a state of fear, to which he replied,” you cannot fuck with African.” HE WAS RIGHT. This is when he began to withdraw from me.
Wicked people believe because I do not trust myself and my spirit they can tell me anything. That happens right until the spirit walks up and gives them a direct blow. When Bacas told me to stop sleeping in my room and sleep in the other room that his niece used to occupy to put my mind at ease, he lied. Bacas used his abilities to get jobs for the people around him like myself, he had this guy named Dan that used to come and collect his weekly change that I would give bacas, because he said he helped me procure a job. One night I went to bed and the spirit came in my head and started calling Dan’s name. I didn’t know what was going on; two days later Bacas called me and told me Dan had lost his job. So Bacas lost the funds he was receiving from Dan, because Dan went ahead and found his own job where he would not have to give Bacas any money. Ogun my father, brother, husband and friend is about defense. He is everything to me. I told bacas what had happened nights before because I was naïve and didn’t fully understand what had went on. Bacas, knew exactly what was going on. I was working and Bacas’ niece had vacated the room and I had this girl at work that i liked. She was pregnant, young and she reminded me of me, she was homeless, I took her in, Bacas said do not let her move in without any money. I let her and her boyfriend move in without a dollar. There is a war in the universe; the only thing that can save us now is sensitivity and compassion.
After I was removed from bacas, the spirit sent me to a lady and she told me she said, your spirit says you do not believe when he talks to you, he talks in your head, but you do not believe. I am such an enigma, because I believe, but I don’t. She also told me that I would need to watch out because someone was going to try and do what bacas had done. I went to her because my spirit specifically sent me there. In the middle of the reading, she said stop, did you know you came in here with a spirit, I said, huh. She said yes, a very powerful spirit, I’m going to tell you what your spirit says. She was reading me, but the spirit wanted her to tell me what he wanted me to know. I was in tears as she chastised me and explained that I take everything for a joke, and that I had been given a responsibility and needed to do what had I had to do. With tears running down my face I answered no when she asked did I want someone to take my spirit from me. You mad. My spirit who take blow after blow for me, bring me back from death, Peter Prophet told me in 1999, that I am the one they call “dead and wake.” Do you know who I am? You don’t even know me.
okay, so Obara, this necessitates three parts to fully take a look at this, i would like to know if people want to hear about the other two violations….should I tell the rest of the story