Have you ever wondered why you meet some people?,What on earth have you done to the Universe that would make you meet some characters you have met in your life. In this world there are some awful people, and it is unfortunate when you meet them or if they come into your space but short of being a recluse what can you do? No one knows or understand God. We know that God exist, but to understand how he works its almost impossible. Yes, we know that we ought to believe that God is good and God is great and yaddie, yaddie yah, but is he really? No I am not disrespecting God, I love God just as much as you, maybe even more, but do we know what really is good or bad. Innately we ought to know, recognizing good versus evil is suppose to be something we are born with.
Often times when you go through or experience what others or you think is bad you come out a better person or if you are pulled toward something you believe is good, you are disappointed or scarred because of your encounter. In the story I posted about Sophia Spencer, The Betrayer . I believed that Sophia Spencer was a good person, she treated me well and I like her, When she had the quarrel with the class, I stood by her and so it was her and I against the whole class, until she went and begged for their friendship which she received but I became the enemy and I stood alone. It is almost laughable now that I think about it, but I guess I had to learn that lesson from early. My first fight with Michael Brown, due to the whole Sophia Spencer foolishness, taught me how to defend myself. I was always warned by my mom to stay away from trouble but she coupled the warning by teaching me how to defend myself if I had to.
I never knew the day would come, and when It did, scared as I was to fight, my mama words sang in my ears and Michael Brown felt my hands, my fist and my teeth that day. I am sure he remembers it also, being whipped by a girl, a small one at that. I did beat him. Disappointed as I was by Sophia Spencer’s betrayal, I hoped and prayed as I grew up that I would not have to go through that again. I prayed only to meet good people, and I did meet some, who I thought was good but after a while they turned out to be beasts. Many of these beasts were family members, and how could you run away from them, they lived with you for crying out loud! As I grew I did meet some very nice people who I still remember to this day, there was Sam the butcher from Mr. He, the Chinese man who owned the shop across the road in Jamaica while I lived there, who in the evenings he would come over to our veranda and talk to my mom and the ever present Miss Ruth, my mothers friend. Sam was a pleasant old man, neatly dressed in Khaki clothing, head full of grey hair and had a smile which only showed his bottom teeth. He would sometimes play with us the children and teach us old songs like Doris Day’s song On Moon Light Bay. I am now grown but I always remember Sam and can still hear him singing moon light bay, ( I don’t know why I included Sam here, but he is a pleasant memory).
After my horrible encounter with the children’s father, I went on to meet another man even more wicked than the first one. No, he did not beat me nor terrorize my children (I had none for him, I thank God) but he was just a terrible person. One day I may write about him, maybe, but I am still trying to figure out what was the reason I met him. What message did he bring, other than pain and regret. Why did I stay with him even though I realized from early on out that he was worthless and had no intention of being a better person. He could not be pushed into being more than he was, because where he was in life was where he wanted to stay. He smoked and drank and never loved and tried to get close to any of my children. Yet I took care of his only child left in Jamaica. While with me he never worked a day in his life. I made excuses for him and said I did not want him to take just any kind of work. I was talked about and ridiculed by my family and friends and my children tried to be supportive of me through their love for me but after a while they begged me to get rid of him. I promised myself I would not write about him in any post, but I will sprinkle him a little here so that maybe it will encourage anyone who is in a toxic relationship as I was, not to allow unrealistic fears to trap them there as I did.
Here I was Obara Meji, who, so many people sought for advice and yet I kept myself unhappy with someone, I had long realize I did not love, or even like. I have never told him thanks for anything. so many years wasted with him, and I have yet to figure out why? I have a saying which I have shared with all of you, “everything happen for a reason and everything comes when it must”. So I cannot regret him if I ought to believe in what I tell others, but I am human and so I still wonder. I wonder. I have a son and he a very handsome and clean young man. He works hard and although we have had our problems while he grew, he has since changed many of his ways and we get along better now. He still has a little sharpening up to do I believe, but he has come a far way. He is involved with a young lady and the relationship is horrible, they cannot get along and I find that she is very disrespectful. I cautioned my son about this girl but he did not listen and forged ahead on with the relationship. Now I am not saying my son is perfect, because he seem to be a womanizer like the father, but to be honest with you all, I would rather him having ten girl friends than making this one his main girl. I am embarrassed by the unhealthy relationship which makes me look side ways at my son (turned off) because of what he is putting up with.. It seems as if he is weak for this girl and she treats him worse than dirt, and what hurts is I cannot interfere.
I cannot interfere because I know he has to go through this. He is being taught something, which will be useful to him one day, but he just have to figure it out. I have talent, but I cannot use it to change his destiny. If I wanted to separate them I could, but that would not be the right thing to do. So I wait and pray for God to do his work and in the mean time my son will not see devastation throughout all of this. Unlike the rest of my children this one only comes to me for spiritual help when he can take it no more and in times past he has been disrespectful to me, we can chalk it up to being a teenager, but I will not give him an excuse, his brother did not act as he. He even tried to fight me, once, he never tried it again. He is the fathers first born and has much of his ways. I would have hoped that my benevolent ways would have saved him from anything the worthless father did in his life, as in karmic debt, and seeing as how he never took care of any of the children, but my son may have brought this onto himself by treating me, his mother with disrespect, it wasn’t often, but even once was too much. Therefore meeting someone he loved and care for who treated him like garbage (in my opinion), and she does. They have recently broken up and I pray this time it last, but my prayer is for her to not take him back, because left up to him, he will beg to be taken back. (shame ei si, Shame!)
We know not how God teaches. Often times you may receive a message which may come through a good avenue, or one which may come through sorrow. Pharaoh’s only child died because God wanted to teach Pharaoh a lesson. Elisha the prophet was teased by some children because of his bald head and the bible says, Elisha cried out to God and two bears came out and mauled 42 of the children, touch not the Lords annointed. No one knows how God operates. Look for life lessons everywhere. In the darkest crevices and corners there is a message for you. Although we pray constantly to meet only good people, and surround ourselves with such, the bad has to be in the mix, accept that, because you will find them in the church shouting Hallelujah with you, or they will you salute you with Assalamu alaikum in the Mosque, or Aboru Aboye (Ifa Greeting). We have to be realistic that life comes at you from all angles. Being too happy will last just for a moment, and you want it to, if you are wise, because if the bad does not come to interfere, the too happy, always happy person will not have a long life. This I know for sure. Look at your children as life lessons, look at your family, look at your spouse, even if they come in the form as Tormentors, they are there to teach you something. Do not allow mis- placed anger to make you miss the message. Be still and watch God’s work.
Not everybody who speak like me is good, so use your judgement, pray and ask for wisdom, Wolves loves to wear Sheep’s clothing, but being cunning was not only meant for the Fox to enjoy, use your wits. I believed I was smart and knew a lot, yet I anchored myself down with a con man, a thief and a liar and what made it worse I did it twice. Although they were two different kind of wickedness both these men I was involved with were wicked nevertheless. Bad can come at you disguised as good and vice versa, Pray, Pray, Pray!..Look beyond words and sweet talk, if a man comes home every night, it does not mean that he is not cheating. Be wise and listen well! Take heed, take heed. We are here to learn, even if it comes with pain take your lesson and teach from it as I am teaching you from mine, am I ashamed to write somethings that I have gone through at times? yes, but I must, so that you can learn from me and my life’s lessons.
Change how you view life, mark the things you encounter which may seem as signs. If you miss a lesson here you may have to return in another life just to learn it again. My son is not paying any debt for his father, he is being taught a lesson by the Universe for disrespecting his mother, so a woman has entered his life and is giving him hell, the same hell he gave me, he has yet to see it and I cannot point it out to him, I have done so and he rejected . He has to see it for himself. All I can do is pray for him. As a matter a fact although it pains me to acknowledge this, it is better he receives the message this way rather from his own child. Do you know how it hurts to have your own child trying to fight you? Especially me, who had no help with them but for God and my ancestors. I called my mother one day when he hurt me so much and I complained to her, and the first thing she asked me was if I cried, and when I told her no, she made a deep sigh and begged me not to cry of he ever did it again, to do so she said, would be to curse him. He did it again, called one of my enemies and spoke awful things to them about me and when I heard, I cried. I remember my mothers word and I am begging God to release him from any curse that I may have laid on him unintentionally, I forgive him, he has changed drastically, and I do love him.
Please help me pray for him. I used him and my relationship as examples in this post so that you may learn or teach from it. My son will prevail, and his life will be good. Miss thing will find another man, and move on with her life and my son will understand one day, why!
Ẹni tó dúró tini nígbà ìpọ́njú ni ọ̀rẹ́ òtítọ́. /
Whoever sticks with one through tough times is the true friend….Yoruba Proverb
All religions are valid if as long as it teaches peace and love…Obara Meji