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MY PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE AS A SPIRITUALIST-DEATH OF THE EGO UPON BECOMING AWAKE

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I have always as a child held a point of view on life and all that was a around me. I held my own opinions, and regarded each individual I met as who I perceived them to be regardless of other persons views on them.  I realized from young that my mind worked differently than most my age, and it made me realize that I was no ordinary person, I was a leader, born as one, not molded into it. A person who took charge and defended all who she cared about, and I cared about human beings very much.

As I grew, this personality developed  stronger and although I wasn’t a bully, I was assertive and went for anything I wanted and I usually got it, I had a positive outlook at life, always expecting good, never engaging in negative thoughts. This personality trait earned me many enemies in my youth, and I wondered why? Not realizing then, that I exuded a kind of strength most people had never felt for themselves before, and also my own self assurance made many question their own. I was persona non grata within the circle of my peers and also within my family circle. I was miss know it all (when all I wanted was to help), and although this term is highly exaggerated in regards to me, I can now see (being older and looking back) how I may have unknowingly intimidated people with my solid display of personality and resourcefulness. I admire people such as myself, I had yet to learn that all was not equal in the world, the lesson was a hard one.

I must admit that I thought I was being helpful, whenever I offered a suggestion to someones problem, or tried to show a mistake a person may have made to them, all the while trying to teach them how to correct it. I thought I was doing a good thing. They thought I was a show off.

Friends ran away from me and I was left with books as my constant companions  (They still are)

I loved to read and I had no friends, so I would stay inside after school and lay in my bed and read after doing my homework, my house chores and after running errands for my mom. Reading gave me a thrill, I loved to read and still do. My imagination is vast and active so I became apart of the books I read, seeing all that the author wrote through his eyes, and becoming the characters there within the pages, tagging along with them on their adventures, feeling their joys and sorrows, laughing when they laughed within the pages and crying as they cried, sodding the pages of my precious books with salty tears. Books became my friends, I cannot tell you the joy it gives me when I get a new book, even to this day. My mother never understood how a young girl like myself chose reading books over having friends and playing outside. So she called me crazy because of it. Well I already wrote a post as to the consequences of  her actions toward me then, read here. And There began my journey!

I began to have my children from an early age, and I had no idea why that happened to me back then, but I can honestly tell you all, that having them, my children, have been a joy to my soul. Having children and beginning my life so young, gave me many experiences. While I went through the horrors of the wicked baby father, I had no idea that I was in one of the most intense classes of my life being with him. He was the most horrible, insensitive, disrespectful, ungrateful human being I knew at that time. (I have since met worse than he). He made my life with him a living hell, yet If it had not been for him and his evil family and woman (there were many, but one who had a child for him in particular) I would not have been able to find the path to my life. Let me pause here for a minute and break it down for you all….You may be wondering where I am going with this post but please be patient with me and read along.

My Life Course

Had I known since I was young, what I know now, I would have understood from early on, the actions of my mother and father toward me, not to mention my sisters and people who I have met along the way. I had often wondered about their dislike toward me. I was never a bad child, or one that gave problems, yet they, after a while changed their love and attitude toward me. I was blamed for everything, beaten and castigated at every turn. It is now that I am older and spiritually wiser that I know that all that they did to me and all that my sisters did to me and also the wicked baby father, the big bad wolf,et al, they did so under my instructions spiritually, they had been chosen for the roles they played, chosen by me. Yes, it is so! let me recap for those who are here reading for the first time.

This lesson have been taught on this blog over and over again. We choose our lives before we are born into this world, and therefore we choose our family, friends, and circumstances also. Our chosen path depends on what is needed to be accomplished here on earth by us, and also our karmic debts among other things. In the course of this choosing, we must also choose if we ought to have children and who should father them, our parents are chosen and siblings if we are to have any. All things in life cannot have a  straight path, there has to be twists and turns, or else how can we learn and how can we teach others from lessons learned? So with good things chosen our well being we must also choose our bad also as our tests. In life Bad always walk before Good. The Storms comes and then the calm.

One action performed by another must bring us into the next event of our lives, and we must endure or manage what is thrown at us, and fight our way through. So follow my path here for a moment, let me use my own journey, showing you the steps I have taken so far, so that you may understand your own. I will begin with meeting the wicked baby father and we will climb from there.

After being thrown out of my parents house for getting pregnant at an early age, I managed life on my own with my child until I met the wicked baby father. He came at a time of struggle for me and pushed his way into my life, I had no time to say no, try as I might, and I did try, but he got the best of me and there I was with him and pregnant again, waiting for him while he did prison time.

He came home after almost a year, I had my son, his first child, my second. All was well for a while until he started to make money. I had gotten a beauty salon, he had financed the whole thing, (this was a promise he had made to me when we just met, he did his time in prison and made good on his promise, upon being released), but upon seeing that, his family, most especially his mother became very bitter against me. Believing that her son was giving me all he had, (this was not so, I suffered many times at the hands of her son, but I was never one to take my house business outside for all and sundry to know). Half the story had never been told.

He had began to make a lot of money and so the women all showed up to help with what they had no idea how it came about, without going into it, I can tell you all that I was his source of wealth. I was young and had a salon, and a rich man to boot, so of course I became all whom I did not know enemy.

He became full of himself and so our lives as man and woman with our children became turbulent. Those years were awful years for me, it pains me to remember, and I must admit that I mist up as I write. I continued to have my children and endure the mal – treatment, holding on to the hope that this will one day pass, he was now the second person to have invaded my body in an intimate way, and I had not wanted to experience another invasion by any other person, having always wanted to be with just one man for the rest of my life. It was not to be that way for me. He had gotten the most awful woman pregnant and she introduced witchcraft into our lives, I did not appreciate it then, and I cannot say I appreciate it now, because the experience was an awful one, but I will admit that her actions,malevolent as it was, set me on my path, and here I am in full discovery of me! .

What she did not try to do to me with Obeah has not yet been invented, a greater she devil than her has never been created. She manipulated my household with her shenannigans and had my household in a frenzy with Obeah, all in the cause of eliminating me and getting the man (lol). I will spare the details of it as I have already written about the experiences on the blog, but it was her bad work and his deceit which brought her into my and my children lives which made me for the first time visit a diviner upon the urging of my mother. My mother was the one to call me and tell me not to sit quietly as I was under attack spiritually, and I was. When the normal becomes abnormal, evil is at work. The fight lasted for years and I was told that if I wanted to be rid of this relentless (B)/witch I had to hurt her. I said no, I would not put my hands in dirt for anybody, especially over a man, and so I got rid of him, little did I know that I was being tested. Time always reveal to us things which we are patient about. Patience is never a loss but a sweet compensatory gain! 

When I got rid of him, I lost my business, and almost my apartment. Things were tough, so much that I had to send my two younger children to Jamaica until I could stand (financially) on my own again. My enemies rejoiced at my hurt, they all were happy at what they thought was my down fall, I had lost everything. They had no idea,nor did I,that I was selected for greatness and the time had come, but I had to walk through the valley of the shadow of death to reap my reward. School for me had just began! My crown was shinning, but it was not the time to wear it as yet

The breakup was hard, I immediately felt as I would have a nervous breakdown. I fought for my sanity. I was plagued with panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and depression. I had racing thoughts and I cried at the drop of a hat. I had lost strength and I could not sleep at nights. I felt pins and needles in my hands and feet, I lost language and the ability to walk without aid. My heartbeat raced everyday, but t the doctors ears all was normal. My head felt heavy, too big for my shoulders, I had not energy nor appetite. I was worried for my children. I cried day and night….little did I know that what I was going through was the death of my ego, I was becoming awake, but in order for that to happen, the ego must first die, these were the symptoms, I knew it not.

Word went out on the street that I had lost my mind, ( I was well known in the town, due to my profession and him). I also thought that I would. Yet I fought for sanity, and it stayed with me. I had to be alright for my children, I would think and affirm this mantra to myself, and I was, I was alright. So here having already had my children gave me the strength to fight for my mind to be intact when it seemed as if I was losing grip. By this time all of what I was going through was my introduction to becoming awakened unbeknownst to me, the first step, removing the ego.

My awakening was harsh, and I am happy to say I survived it, (there are so many things I would love to share with you, but let us pray for the school), many people did not, check the psyche ward, in there you will find talented people who, upon becoming awakened ended up there.

After my awakening,I was sent to church and became an active member in a spiritual church. I had many years before met my padrino who was a Lucumi practitioner, and he used to take me on trips with him to nature. So I had never stopped going, even by myself. I went to the Ocean and the River and in the bush and on the mountains to make sacrifices and I kept spiritual parties all the time. I erected an Altar and I worked it well, I embraced my ancestors and they embraced me as well. It was after a while I realized that had it not been for the wicked baby father, his treatment of me,also his vicious, heartless woman who worked some bad Obeah against me and all the people who were my enemies, had it not been for them collectively, I would not had found my path.

The road to glory is filled with thorns and hidden dangers, though it may be rough, if one can endure, they would smile upon arrival.

I realized, that my mother started me out on my path, when she told me to leave her house. It cannot be easy for a mother to send her child from her house, without looking back at her. I was not alone, my special companion was already in my belly. I was placed in a position to meet the wicked baby father who bull dozed his way into my life. I had three children for him,while he and his family and others abused me. It was my same mother while I was being abused,who pointed me into the direction for spiritual help, yet when I asked her to let me and my children come home to her, so I would no longer be subjected to the treatment I was receiving, she said no! I have often times thought about how cold she was to me,but today I appreciate her for letting me stand on my own, because of who I turned out to be.

Your learn by repetition, and so I have recounted some of what I have written here more times than once. My view on life as a Spiritualist is not obscured by anything offered within this world, I rest all of my assurances on what I have learned from within the world of spirits, which is my source.

I know for sure that life as we know it is a journey, it matters not who you are or how great a family bond you have, each individual have their own path to walk, even the baby just born. We are only here to offer assistance in a positive or a negative way. There are times when you will have to tell someone you love NO! That same No, could lead them to their own path, to success or self development.

As a child learns to walk, he will fall, then get up and fall again. Watch him, he is our teacher, this is how life is and he is showing us the way!

It is prudent to adjust the settings of your mind never to judge. With Judgement of another, dims your own flaw of character, no one is perfect, and any situation can easily be your own, we just have to keep prayer close. If you meet upon someone who seems perfect,there is deceit within, cleverly shrouded, be ye careful. Temptation is a must, be wise in all your decisions, never hurry your life.

It is important to meditate, not only are you taking time out to be with yourself and your guides, you open yourself to receive messages from your higher self, when in deep concentration such as meditating. Prayer is the secret to life. As simple as it sounds, I will tell you that this is the truth. Contrary to what many people believe, for example, you have to know how to pray, or you have to pray in Jesus name or otherwise. This is not so. Words spoken softly or even in your mind, by yourself to your creator whoever you deem him to be, sincere thoughts sent out to the Universe to an encompassing All, will surely be heard and responded to, even if it takes time. But I Obara Meji give you all a great KEY, and it is the secret to life as we know it, although it may sound cliche, the Key to Life is to Pray!

God do not need our worship and praise, I know the Christians will have an heart attack when they read this, but I stand by these words. God is not man! Even if I refer to God as Him or He, it for our general understanding, as most people minds cannot stretch beyond that which it is familiar with. If God was a man and needed worship and praise, then he would have on his shoulder Ego and therefore not worthy to be a God!

God is energy, and the sparks of this great energy is within all of us. We are all connected to it (it being God) which we are fragmented from. If we need to connect with this great power on a personal basis, then we lift our vibration through prayer and even song.Going into our selves, internalizing our feelings, gathering our thoughts and whispering them to the divine who will hear you and return its answer in due time. Patience is a great companion.

I tend to be long winded when writing, and I am amazed at this, because I am serious when I declare to you all that I cannot type, so if this post garner much attention today, I will write part two, as I have more to say, on my perspective on life as a spiritualist. I have not yet began to share my views.

Death of The Ego;

http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php?story=Egodeath

Ẹní bá gun àkàbà dé òkè máa ńṣe pẹ̀lẹ̀ ni /
Whoever climbs to the top of a ladder, ought to tread gently……Yoruba Proverb!

[Those at the top must tread with caution; it’s far easier to achieve success than to sustain it]

All religion are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…. Obara Meji!

There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji

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MTH
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MTH
4 years ago

Another great post…Caroline British hit the nail on the head for me when she said “I will not cause pain without allowing something to be born’. Ase, ase, ase!!!

Ty
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Ty
5 years ago

Obara, I forgot to say that I absolutely LOVeE this picture on this post…

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
5 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Me too Ty its beautiful…riveting…demanding…mysterious…

Tammy
Blogger
Tammy
5 years ago

Hi Obara, I’m catching up on your wonderful work and teachings on here , and you have to continue what you are doing it is very clear to anyone reading your Posts that you are extremely gifted from the way you write and convey the stories it’s just magical…I’ve been drawn in one post to the next..I had to catch myself to stop and comment. I do believe a lot of your readers have the same experience where they are hanging onto your every word, with the intentions to comment later..I salute you!

Ty
Blogger
Ty
5 years ago
Reply to  Tammy

Welcome to the esp family Tammy, we glad to see you…please comment and share your ideas, questions, jokes, experiences etc… We are all here to learn…

Tammy
Blogger
Tammy
5 years ago
Reply to  Tammy

I’m actually a not so long lost friend ‘skeptic’ lol… tried to call you several times..You may have been in Africa.

Jan Ankerstjerne
Blogger
5 years ago

Reblogged this on Jan Ankerstjerne.

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Cami you are usually here late at nights, where are you tonight? LOL

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Today all I kept asking myself, is am I trying to speed up my life? Many years ago I was job hunting and I sent out several applications and each time I received a letter stating that “sorry no vacancy…we will keep you application on record’. At one point it had gotten so discouraging I would cry. Then there came a time when I got job offers from two companies at the same time. Herein was a whole set of problems, how do you decide between two relatively good offers. I chose and the one I chose might have seemed… Read more »

KB
Blogger
KB
5 years ago
Reply to  MTH

Good morning MTH an all others if something inside is telling you to wait, why is it that you are conflicted? I understand the need to handle lil M and your responsibilities but that strong calm voice is talking, you hear it so you must listen. Often we do not listen and things do not turn out well for us. Pray my sister and we will fast together this Friday. Listen to your Ori….

MTH
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MTH
5 years ago

Nunu and KB, good night. How unno duh?

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Good night everyone whom I haven’t hailed from morning. Ty thank you as usual for your contributions, always well received. Thanks also for calling us your besties.

Shana darling, share when you are ready. We will be right hear to cheer you on, laugh with you, cry with you, fast and pray or just listen and keep silent if that is what is required. You have our ears and shoulders to use as you will.

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
5 years ago

Night Ty n Nunu thank u both for helping to put my thoughts into perspectice. Fully understood both ur perspectives. Thankfulness is filled with positive energies! positive energies always lift ones spirit.

shana
Blogger
shana
5 years ago

This was so touching! Thank you! It really made me think about my struggle in life also. I got to re-read this. Maybe I will share something also with you guys later on.

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  shana

Good night Shana, whenever you’re ready no judgments here

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
5 years ago

Good evening All Obara okay God doesnt need our worship n praise. I can understand that considering God is not human n wouldnt needthose emotions. But what about thankfulness n gratefulness? i get they are emotions too but when i think of Gods goodness towards me im thankful. I am even thankful for the wicked baby father(yea mi av 1). He was needed for me to have my child. He also helped to teach me my inner strength, my survival skills n more. ( Im learning that now, thanks to my ES) Im thankful to God through the good n… Read more »

Ty
Blogger
Ty
5 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Kb, the thankfulness and grate fullness are for YOU…not God…God is energy ….emotions are energy in motion… That are here on the earth realm…gratitude gives forth a positive, higher frequency energy that raise your spirit, your energy…

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Kia I like this quote, “God is literally everything visible and invisible and is composed entirely of love and wisdom. Nothing is excluded. All is included in the One.” Remember that God while ‘he’cannot be readily defined he is consciousness and as Ty said pure energy and power so your greatfulness and thankfulness will be felt even if you don’t voice it. I like saying thank you out loud.

Courtney
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Courtney
5 years ago

Hey fam

Loved this post. Summed up many feelings and very relatable.looking forward to part two, I love how timely these posts are. When u receive a word u didn’t even know u needed. #Sips tea#

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  Courtney

Hi Courtney

Courtney
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Courtney
5 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Hey nunu

Ty
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Ty
5 years ago

I cannot wait for part 2…

Ty
Blogger
Ty
5 years ago

Obara, your blog on altar, sprung my spiritual journey into gear…it was this act of putting up my ancestral altar that ignited the flame within me and led me to embrace ME…I had to soul search, address my flaws, see my truths, accept my gifts and Love whole heartedly…. This led me to so many things…praying constantly, fasting, meditating, having a rapport with my guides, guardians, and ancestors… My bad word reportoire has diminished …. My meat consumption has dwindled….I eat fruits and veggies more…I juice (thank you (Yazstar)…. I have gained all of you as family…I am an only… Read more »

Ty
Blogger
Ty
5 years ago

Evening everyone, wishing you all a wonderful week…my week outlook is jam packed but I will sneak in as much as I can… Obara, I am sending love and healing energy to you… As usual obara you on point….pray, meditate, and have faith in the journey and process…let you guides steer you…learn from your teachers here both good and bad, so that you do not have to repeat the lesson…be humbled in your experiences, drop the ego…allow God to work miracles…for that he shall…. Give up on dogmas and routines that serve others or an institution…serve God, who resides within… Read more »

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Well said as usual Ty

toy7318
5 years ago

Hi everyone. I loved how you told us prayer is the key.

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Teach, today I felt so many things not working out for me. The panic, nervousness were about to set it, but I had to remind myself to relax and breathe.

Today, when Ii thought I had hit another low, this blog helped me on my journey. DO NOT HURRY YOUR LIFE. In a new country, new set of responsibilities coupled with the ones I left at home. I have to let my ori lead me.

Spiritual Seeker
Blogger
Spiritual Seeker
5 years ago

Evening everyone!

Obara, as always, thanks for sharing a part of yourself for us to learn from and identify with. As I was reading, I kept saying in my head “Yes!” and “Amen!” LOL!

So, please to hurry with part 2, ma’am.

As much as me and my man now fight and argue sometimes, I make sure to tell him that him nah get rid of me, WE MADE A CONTRACT lifetimes ago. Me deh yah long-term (of course he look at me like I’m crazy and just laugh). LOL!

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago

Lol! SS mi woulda look pon yuh like yuh mad tuh, di poor man a scratch him head a seh which contract?!

toy7318
5 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

lmao Nunu lmao lol. SS man probably thinking did my razzle dazzle me

setaspace
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Same so, Nunu…all now him a try figure out wha de hell me a chat seh. LOL!

We have lots to teach each other.

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago

So when we learn from all these things is it safe to say if we don’t cognitively learn from the experiences,because somethings will pass us by, our subconscious/spirits will know/learn?

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago

Good afternoon everyone, I’m going to read and come back

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

It all gives a new perspective on things;a part of this spiritual growth is reducing all the negative tendencies/habits etc. Mi deh hope mi did kin’ to miself an nuh meet up pon no mongrel fi learn nutten, please lawd!lol I get it though

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Sa-fo sweetie pie, have a great day. Teach you are right on the money, I believe I chose my two baby daddies. So typical of me, once was never enough. I dont really hate either. Im just thankful for the gifts they gave me and keep it moving. I know I received a lot of flack for having the first one so young, but kiss kitty ky minus plus. Whatever the hell that means.

KB
Blogger
KB
5 years ago

What you a say to me Obara?!?! mi choose di wicked dutty babyfather?!?! but why why why i woulda do that oooooh

Manners and respect fambo let me finish read ….in my mind i never knew i selected him…thought he trapped and tricked me. smdh

Sa-Fo
Blogger
Sa-Fo
5 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Ty know what’s up. I’m not a huge fan of man made meds but Ibuprofen and Neosporin works wonders. Oh and no more touching!!

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

I, too believe that pray is the secret to life challenges.

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Teach you get the warning someone in your circle is prignant. MI know is not me. Let’s wait snd see and pray for a safe delivery of this very special child.

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

This is such a wonderful quote:

‘As a child learns to walk, he will fall, then get up and fall again. Watch him, he is our teacher, this is how life is and he is showing us the way’. I remember the saying once a man, twice a child, which means there will be ups and downs and we will rise and fall throughout life.

Sa-Fo
Blogger
Sa-Fo
5 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Neosporin is soooo good

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Teach, as Lady British said up top, another wonderful post. I know I can speak for Cami and myself, when I say that your post are always timely. This is just what I needed for today.

Sa-Fo
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Sa-Fo
5 years ago
Reply to  MTH

So true!!

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Morning Teach. How are you feeling today? Is the boil going away?

MTH
Blogger
MTH
5 years ago

Morning Obara, Caroline and Sa-Fo. Let me go read and come right back.

Sa-Fo
Blogger
Sa-Fo
5 years ago
Reply to  MTH

Morning MTH 🙂 how are you ?

Sa-Fo
Blogger
Sa-Fo
5 years ago

Greetings All…I can name a lot of bloggers but I fear I will forget someone so Peace to everyone here 😉

Like Caroline my take away message is the art of patience. I must admit, I am not a very patient person but lessons that I’ve learned 2013 and even last year definitely made me a “more patient” and grateful person. Life lessons are so hard but my advice to anyone here is to NOT to compare your circumstance with another. Sure ticket to an asylum!

toy7318
5 years ago
Reply to  Sa-Fo

Hey Sa-Fo

Caroline British
Blogger
Caroline British
5 years ago

Morning Obara and the EST family! Another incredibly wonderful post. I don’t know what it is about some of your posts that actually leave me so tearful. Maybe it’s the sound of suffering you have endured which mirrors mine, or maybe it is the relief from finally understanding some of the things I have gone through. You know I love quoting the Bible lol (ever since I learnt it was written by Masons, I realised there are many esoteric layers to it depending on how evolved the person reading it is) and the first part of your post reminds me… Read more »

toy7318
5 years ago

Hi Caroline British.

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