June 6, 2011 Obara Meji 102Comment

When I lived with my  children’s father, there was a time when he began to make money and with that brought the women, so I became the one that did not matter. Never mind that he went to prison and I, not knowing anything about prison or prisoners began taking the over night bus while pregnant to Clinton maximum facility, where they held this scum bag until he could be placed into a minimum facility. There I was in the visiting room, filled with murderers,rapists, thieves, pedophiles, drug dealers, still a teenager taking pictures with him in his prisoners uniform which was full khaki suit and black combat boots. I Should have seen the Bongo man in him then and skip, but love was blind, at least I thought it was love, actually no I didn’t. Because while I was with him I always wondered in my child’s mind how come my heart did not skip a beat when I heard his name, like it did when I was twelve years old, and saw Delroy Jenkins coming home from school. How come I was shy when Delroy waved hi to me and for a second could not hear anything. This did not happen with this man.

Perhaps I had just accepted my fate and stuck by him because I was pregnant for him and even though he was locked up he still made sure I was provided for. His horrible mother took me to a thrift store and bought me a living room set with the ten thousand dollars he had left to furnish our apartment. My mother had already bought me a bed, as Jamaicans mothers often do to give their children a start. The black and white T.V (this was in the age of colored TV enuh, but de mumma neva like mi, and gave me a television she had parked in her garage) only showed when there was an antenna in it. He came out on a work release program and with my help got off probation early. So here he was lavishing in money, wearing the latest designs, which was a far cry from the days of Clinton maximum prison in upstate N.y.

One of my sisters lived with us at one time, the oldest one, who despised me, she had always hated me because of my light complexion, which was so sad, because I was and still am just as black as her despite my outward appearance, we are of the same race regardless of skin color. She was dark skin and in my opinion very pretty back then. Her looks has changed drastically I guess because of her ways, and the consistent bleaching. Her inner attitude is now showing in her face and sagging body, so much that she resembles Cruella Deville. I loved her and as a child I was sad when people praised me instead of her saying, “yuh brown an pretty eeh”. At nights she would pinch me and cuss me, telling me that my parents had found me abandoned in a basket. In Jamaican society there is much focus on color, being very dark means you are no good, or you are ugly, so much that there is a Jamaican saying that goes “Anything too black nuh good”. Such a pity.

Back to my sister, (who eventually moved on her own time), the baby father was not happy that she lived there, worse she never contributed to the household not even a bottle of water, and had put her belongings out many times while she had gone to work, while I had to struggle to put them back in before she found out. He complained that this was one of the reasons why he did not give me his money because I allowed my family to take advantage of me…..Lies!!!….he was just wicked, and his signed off on all his cruelty to me…… Enough of this lamenting!!!, let me get to the point. During the time when the baby father was in his shining glory with all his women and money, I was neglected and there were times when I was denied some basic needs.

One Saturday in particular, he had not come home the night before, (there were many nights like this). I woke up without any provisions in the house, no groceries at all, at least for an adult to eat or cook. The children had their canned foods and apple juice but I had nothing. I called my mother and asked to borrow money to cook , she said she had none. I called my sisters boyfriend who was my good friend and told him my plight but he sadly told me how broke he was and apologised. I called the baby father but no response. By mid afternoon, hungry and frustrated I placed both children into their stroller and decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

As I got to the end of the street a green Acura Legend turned the corner and the driver blew his horn as if he was greeting me, I waved back not knowing who it was and he stopped and reversed. He came out of the car, still standing by the door and I recognized him as being my sisters ex boyfriend. He asked the usual about everybody’s health and well being and I told him fine and as he was about to go back into his car I said “gimme something nuh”….(side bar) this is something I would have never done, I had too much pride and everybody knew that my childrens  father had money, so for me to be asking for anything was ludicrous, and shameful. To my astonishment he took  a hundred dollars out a coil and gave it to me. I said the customary thanks and silently sent up a million thanks that to God and prayed tons of blessings for him. He unkowingly had just given food to the hungry, which was me. I went to the supermarket and bought food to cook and juice to drink, then I called my mother who had told me earlier that she too was broke and told her to send someone for thirty dollars and my sisters boyfriend cmae for twenty. The baby father came home later on in the day with a friend, he went into the kicthen and shared food for himself and his friend not caring where it came from……..Life!!!

Whenever you believe all is lost God always sends someone, an angel in physical form. Just keep a clean heart and a good mind towards all and everything, and PRAY! I lived to see the day after we had broken up and he hit rock bottom while I had steadily risen and had even gotten a new business, him coming to me begging money for food, and to pay his bills, and I gave it to him, my soft heart could not say no. The horrible mother use to call and tell me thanks for assisting him. One morning I was on my way to open my business, I took a taxi, the driver, an old Jamaican man and I began to talk and I told him about the childrens father, the treatment I had gotten when I was with him and how it was me helping him now and we were not together, the taxi man in his wisdom said to me “why are you interfering with Gods judgement on you childrens father? do not give him a red cent more!!. you cried out to God and he heard you and now he is feeling what you went through, STOP!!”.  It was the last time I strecthed my hands to him, because I knew the cab driver delivered to me a message that I needed to hear.

It is wisdom to prevent someone from whom one cannot accept repayment to have access to one’s valuable possessions…..Yoruba Proverb

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102 Comments on "THE WICKED BABY FATHER"

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[…] The wicked baby father got involved with this awful woman while we were together and I had given him his first child (a son), and my second (the first being a baby girl with whom he met me with). He went to prison while I was pregnant. I did my prison visits, pulled all nighters on the bus going upstate to the maximum correctional facility until they moved him to a medium facility. Traveling to him was not easy, especially for a pregnant young girl. I thought that when he came out we would have a good life together with our children and as a young couple build our lives together. I did everything for him to get an early release and he did when he moved closer to our town on a work release programme. He did only a year out of his time and was placed on probation for the rest of the time, but was also released early from probation. I stood with him through thick and thin. I was his life line, his strength through his struggles, the good partner, a good woman, someone he should have loved and cherished. But men (especially Jamaican man, hailments to de few good one dem, big up oonuh self, but oonuh bad nuh blood kleet) most of them just can not help but cheat, and my children’s father was no exception. […]

Puma617
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Puma617

I have a handicapped son whom i love a care for with all my heart. His gather hates him is ashamed of him and told me he wants nothing to do with him cause he is cursed and fucked up were his words… Im praying not to be angry or have hate in my heart. Him being sick is alot to carry and i do it with love. Its hurts me that he feels that way 28 surgeries alone he wont even listen to me talk about it. Now i have no way of communication with him. He is living well. How can he continue to prosper in his wrong. Yet im suffering in my right?

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[…] a story for this, more than one actually, but I will give you this one. When I broke up with the wicked baby father, times were hard. He had money and he could help me, but he did not. I had my Beauty Salon and I […]

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[…] their children,perform his duty toward his wife and children, nu run whey like de wicked baby fadda read here. He, the African, was brought up like that, and in return he expects a dutiful wife, a submissive […]

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[…] and there was a time when I questioned my strength especially when I was involved with the wicked baby father. My enemy (remember who I speak of when I say my enemy) have had many challenges in life, but have […]

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[…] my first born , read here, and the others for the (useless puppa number 2) wicked baby father, read here. None of these men were in their children’s lives as they grew and even till now in present […]

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[…] and beginning my life so young, gave me many experiences. While I went through the horrors of the wicked baby father, I had no idea that I was in one of the most intense classes of my life being with him. He was the […]

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[…] and I trusted him so I believed him. I continued to feel “safe”. Unlike the wicked one read here, he was home every night and I had no reason to suspect him […]

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[…] a tale of Obeah/Juju. I was living with my children along with the Nanny and my junior sister. The wicked baby father was around still and I had my hair salon which was doing very well. My dad called me one day while […]

Cami
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Cami

You “title” baby father good…wicked indeed.

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[…] was on its way for her. This same thing touched my life and my children when it was done to the Wicked baby father, this very same thing was done to him by the wicked woman. I have part two to this story, because I […]

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[…] a story for this, more than one actually, but I will give you this one. When I broke up with the wicked baby father, times were hard. He had money and he could help me but he did not. I had my Beauty Salon and I was […]

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[…] Mr. Mitchel said, anything came from his lips during his  readings was Law! After I had met the Wicked Baby Father  and things were bad between us, because of his promiscuous ways and his Obeah working women, Mr. […]

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[…] in my life when I was going through a terrible time with the wicked baby father, read the post The Wicked Baby Father.  He was just the worst man, and I, as a young girl, strong as I thought I was, was so tired of […]

Rayne888
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Rayne888

Wow. Where do I begin. First off I’d like to say great topic and wow. I had know idea and situations like that do happen. Yes the cab driver was right and you didn’t meet that cab driver by chance just so you know, You were meant to see and speak to that cab driver. I’ve read your blogs and so far I do see you as speaking to just anyone unless your spirit take them. They have a good aura. That advice it home and it was a bit hard to swallow but it was the truth. I myself go through that and yes at times I know I shouldn’t help certain people because it upsets the order of things but its in my nature and in my heart. But the fact is like the driver says; that’s something I have to “stop’. Optimistic…we all know that not all men are this way and that there are good men out there. …….But we’re not talking about them. lol. So lets just focus on the topic. I learned something from someone dear and close to my heart. She told me if it don’t apply to you then let it fly, Don’t respond. Why make a statement to the women that there are good men out here when they know that? Lets move on. I am shocked and appalled by the fact of you going out your way and humbling yourself to call him in concerns about his son and yet he does nothing to help. I’m outraged and disgusted. He could have at least gotten on the phone with him and made an attempt. Thas why I respect the fact of you playing both rolls and doing it yourself. You don’t need him. Remember that. Optimistic. I would say that the best thing Obara could do in that situation is avoid conflict all together. Its just talk. He’s entitled to his opinion on things. But they both know the truth as well as God. Now if he wants to attempt to run her name in the mud then he will suffer the consequences which is why he is in the situation he is in now. I’ve been the person who avoided conflict and I’ve been the person who deals with the situation. From experience either one can be bad but one must know when to fight and when to leave it alone.

Tiffany Anderson
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i could never see my self caring for mean even if i was the mom of is children them yo madd i ageer with the cab man but you do have good heart and for that you will always be blessed….

skeptic
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alrite, will do!

skeptic
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Is a Bb Opti

skeptic
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me nuh know Teacha me affi go mek me son show me, cause any web search me a do is always a google bar popup!

skeptic
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Boy, Obara me wish me coulda get access to yo site from me cell, cause me a miss out too much pon d chat dem… Teacha u need fi setup the mobile version please and thanks!

Maniac
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Maniac

😡

Maniac
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Maniac

Teecha memba sey ah she an Optimistic did deh unda di mango tree, ah neva MI 🙁

Maniac
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Maniac

Ah whey mi get misself inna doe fawda? I are garne

Maniac
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Maniac

Low mi enuh ah me u waan Sharlene come beat off

Maniac
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Maniac

Mi mean di rod

Maniac
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Maniac

Yes Optimistic come comfort mi…..Rise di staff an comfat mi
Mek I stop yah nuh waan fi goh principal office….

Maniac
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Maniac

Hear yah nung…..Good Nite Ebbybaddie I garn…yes mi ah run. Naw tannup

Maniac
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Maniac

No teecha mi juss ah remine u sey ah NEVA ME him did ah ahem……It was NOT me

Maniac
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Maniac

Yes teecha him purposely ah dweet an ah gwaan like him ah saint unda di kwiat (ah leeve him to Splendid an 2 teet Davis)….Ah temp him ah temp wi wid di forbidden fruit,,,Mi gawn

Maniac
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Maniac

MI teecha????? Afta ah nuh me an him did unda di mango tree whey day 🙁

Maniac
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Maniac

Lol, Low mi enuh Awoe…..
@Optimistic, the same rings true for some women ‘if only he could see the real me and realize that I’m for real’. Unfortunately ah nuff conartist out deh so u really cannot blame the men/women for protectin dem hawt…..juss be yourself an it wii happen

Maniac
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Maniac

Ahem…….mek mi gwaan read
Calling OrisaPikkney….Orisaaaaaaaa whey u dey oooo

Maniac
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Maniac

Mi tink so to Obara….Nat a reading roun ere…
Chuss mi Optimistic1 it might take some time but it wont be long

Maniac
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Maniac

Wouldn’t that be something Optimistic1? I think that’s the best way to go too…..pity so much deceptive ppl dey bout an u affi protek uself….U taken Opti? If so, treat har rite an if not, keep di faith one good mate coming up…..

Maniac
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Maniac

🙂

Maniac
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Maniac

Whey u mean by say mi skippy Teecha?

Maniac
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Maniac

Optimistic1, like you I avoid confrontations at all cost….most times I end up on the losing side. I will say this however, personally I feel like the bigger person when I do not allow the other individual to drag me down to their level, hopefully people will be smart enough to see who the real liar is and TIME WILL TELL. Yes I know its hard but I do believe in this saying.

I try not to get angry as when I do it lasts for a very long time and I know that I can be vindictive but I choose not to be….Mi wii go awfa u entire fambily and mi noe sey dat rang plus at the end of the day ah me affi ansa to Mawsa God….so mek dem ansa to him fi dem dutty deeds NOT ME.

Maniac
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Maniac

I ask because when I left my babyfather, I spoke with the girl that he was ‘kotching’ with and she told me things that he had said about me (LIES!!! all LIES!!!), he did it to try and belittle me and to make people look at me in a different light…after all him neva have nutten pon mi. What he told her was what HE was guilty of. I did not try to clarify anything and just left it as is because one thing I have come to realize is that some people once dem mek up dem mine, u cudda preach like Paul nutten u say or do won’t mek dem tink oddawise.

Maniac
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Maniac

Optimistic1 I know you asked Obara those questions, but if you dont mind….would you try to prove your innocence?

skeptic
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me ago look ya now

skeptic
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Obara, wat a wicked man. Ur heart really good cause me wouldn’t even spit out me chew up bone and give him.

Maniac
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Maniac

Sarry Optimistic1……Certain man (glad some good one still deh bout)

Maniac
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Maniac

Mrs. Obara ah waa u low mi enuh

Maniac
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Maniac

Aie, Aie, Aieeeeeeeee……Sharlene ah mussi dream u deh dream
Lub wa???? If mi si him ah starve mi wuda geem likkle food yes but ah dehsoh it done….Awoe

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

@ whe maniac deh causen she sound like she still love de babyfather…hellooo

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

me know…but you know sometime dem haffi feel it fi can appreciate…so u already say by being around u…he was able to rise and shine…without u…he would fall…that’s why me say me naw share my luck wid no bwoy…dem lucky you better understand seh me is a asset and a lucky charm…

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

u know wha bun me a bwoy whe have him money…but him hand no free…why some a dem love share up de money wid dem friend dem…and u nuffi get more dan a pittance…i lef him to time…one time me did hate him…me jus release like a feces or flatulence and lef him to somebody else who fa mind can handle dem negative thoughts and emotions deh…a wonda whe sophia woulda a ssay…i wonda if splendid was a good bayfather and husband…because him say him wake up and find himself married…i wonda if him wake up and find sophia pregnant too…lol

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

@obara…whe u seh lif up de dressa..dwl…please dat de mange deh…one day me a ride wid him and him babymodda whe him live wid call and say something…hear him no…keisha tek de $20 nuh u agwaan like me a go kill u over $20…but a know she know betta him goodly kick up rumpuss pon her fi dat deh money deh…him couldnt get a next dolla…me tell him dranco nu h pitch pon me…caw nothing dead no deh ya so…don’t

Maniac
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Maniac

Sharlene wat a man cowl…..$2000 an ongle gi u back di 20, no sah aldoa di ceerus mi haffi laaf. Him is a damn user – wudden even gi u $200? No sah an a bet seh 2 days layta ah him dat ahgen ah beg u a 20

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

i want to add…the wicked babyfather…oh gosh…mine love bar and dem tings deh…one time me go check him a de bar and him ask me fi $20 fi play de box…me luv him a play de horse dem…de man win $2000 and who glad like him…him call up everybody and share up de said $2000 wid everybody in deh…de rumhead and gambla dem…and tun round and gi me back $20…me say me…naw share my luck wid no bwoy…ungrateful wretch…don’t

Maniac
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Maniac

U know mi nuh undastan man doe……Why when tings stawt gwaan fi dem dem stawt hype an run dung won bag ah ooman? Is like dem figget who did deh deh fi dem wen dem neva hab nutten.

Ah same soh fimi pikni puppa did stay (dont know why mi talking bout dat dranco but mi feel di need fi share) wen him leff him madda house ah fi mi sweat suit dem him use to wear causen sey him madda wudden geem him clothes, mi tshirt dem an mi buy him boot. Mi memba won krissmus mi tek up mi J$5000 len him fi buy name bran boot (dat was back in bout 1995 do u noe sey dem time deh ah nuff money dat). Wen him juss buss an stawt earn likkle money tings di good den alla sudden ebbyting stawt goh dung di drain, man stawt hype an bear tings – mi nuh tink it did so-so soh doe cah ah nuff abnormal tings did ah gwaan, wake up si dead pijin ah mi winda an dem sinting deh. Gyal start flock him cah dem have pretty cyaar yeye an tink it was tumuch fimi, mi hear sey one did pass di remark bout ‘whey monkey ah do inna bimma’ (I KNOW I’m not ugly but fool fool people tend to think that because u dark-skinned you unattractive).

I blame him caw if him neva see dem an look dem, or even if ah dem look him as him claim, dem cudden have nuh chat. Mi did have a pretty decent job an ah nuff man offa mi tings, one older man did even offa fi buy mi apartment an mi neva gi dem di time ah day cause mi yeye nuh red – or maybe ah fool mi did damn fool. Look how far it got me!!!!

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

Bwoy girl God nuh lef him children dem behind!…The race is not for the swift, but those that can endure! Ase be sistren!

Maniac
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Maniac

Boy Obara mi love this site gone to bed. Sometime people sey mi fool fool an mi pikni puppa use to sey mi love feed mi enemy dem tumuch caw all when dem chat mi to scorn mi feed dem said way – mek DEM nyam dem condemnation….. U get $100 an share up 50, u good and dats y u will continue fi praspa

Jah guide an protect

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