In the tradition that I practice Ifa/Orisha, it is taught that we are the ones to choose our destiny before we come to earth. A part of that choice includes the person who will be your mother, father and other family members. Along with those choices comes your mates and….. well you get the picture. I chose a wonderful Lady for my mom. I was not born into riches nor was I born in fame. My mother was a strong Independent woman. (she is still alive and well). My mother worked at the University Hospital Of The West Indies, and as a child growing up I use to admire this woman a lot for her work ethics and her drive. She made sure that we the children had what we needed. All the necessities of life was available to us. Not in excess of course, we were not rich but we were not limited by no means.
My Father was a Carpenter and a Mason by trade, but work was few and far in between, but my mother did not allow that to bother her. She took care of us all and we were satisfied. She was the best cook and to this day I do not know her rival in cooking and baking!. She could dress very well and was always well put together. She was also a great warrior. No one could bother her children she made it clear that she could and would protect us. Miss Will our terrible neighbor who lived in the same yard tried my mother several times and regretted it. Whenever my mother got upset, the quarreling was not sufficient for her she had to fight and she cared not where and who. She always had an Ice pick corked at the top inside her brazier, and her knife was her best friend, she did not make trouble with people, and was well liked and respected in our community as well as out. Nobody challenged her, because all who did, found out the hard way what they were up against.
My younger sister came along unexpectedly, I was not happy at her arrival, I was mad at my dad for knocking up my mom…ewww I remember thinking, hating my parents for still having sex!, in my child’s mind anyone over thirty was old and would soon die. I wondered how did dad get the chance to knock up my mom, I was always sleeping in between them, although I remember often times waking up in my own bed. That must have been when these horny old people got the chance to invoke the demon who I despised when she was born, my youngest sister…lolololl!! I love her now, (sometimes), but then I could not stand her!. My Parents transferred all my nicknames to her and she would giggle when my father threw her up in the air and called her NuNu!!…my frigging name!. I would stand one side and sulk because my mother paid me no more attention and I was sad. Then my sister got sick and my parents became distressed and worried and I began to feel love for the little girl who cried all the time, I would pray for her and ask God to let her live so that my mom would be happy again. She recovered, and I overheard my mom tell the nosy Miss Ruth, that it was the ghost of my older sisters father who was plaguing my younger sister, because it felt that my mother was not paying his daughter the proper attention. Which might have been true, because my little sister became my mother’s world.
I have had my problems with my mother, she seemed to dislike me later on in life, I do not know why because everything I had I gave to my mother, I loved her and wanted her to know. I can honestly say that the only thing I can think of that I ever did to her was shame her by getting pregnant at a young age, she put me out after the baby was born but our relationship never got any better. Other than that I am innocent of her dislike and disregard of me. My older sister and others who wished me harm, fueled her dislike for me further, by telling lies to her about me. If you were my enemy and complained to my mom against me, my mom most of the time would take your side against me, In the case of the wicked baby father and his equally wicked family, my mom stood with them and not with me. There were times when I wanted just a hug, and of course I did not know how to ask for it, but I would go to her house, hoping that she would give it to me. She never did. My first-born to this day tell me that my mom told her that she loves her, and I am shocked, because never has my mom or dad ever told me those words.
It is important that you always remember regardless of what to love your parents. There are some bad ones I know, and some acts cannot be forgiven, but never be found guilty of disrespecting them, your parents!, especially your mother!. When it is easy for the father to deny the child, the mother cannot and hardly ever does. She struggles and tries to do the best for her children. I did!. My child’s father turned his back and left me to do it all by myself. I had no time for court so child support I did not do. It was all me. Now my son has become my enemy, I am convinced that he hates me, and I do not know why!. He, I believe is a victim of my enemies trying to get through to me, and is spiritually using him to succeed, but they will not win!!. I am a favorite of God and I stand protected, so my relationship with my son will soon be repaired and my enemies will all see heaven way before me!. My mothers’ heart has gotten a little softer toward me now, since she has gotten older, she hugged me and danced with me the other day which brought tears to my eyes, but I happily danced with her, poor thing, I love her. She believed that I hated her, because she threw me out when I had the baby, and others told her that I spoke badly about her, which was a lie!. Obara Meji is a victim of blame, that is my portion, and so people make me their enemies out of their own mind.
Honor thy mother and thy father so that thy days can be longer on this earth. My mother I love you, you grew me well and gave me good moral codes and I love you!!. Asee!! Thank you My real mother Osun..Oore Ye Ye O!! Osun O!!!
Obara Meji is a spiritualist, Ifa-Orisa practitioner, and teacher of metaphysics. Since 2011 she has used her online platform to share her personal experiences to those seeking answers about spirituality. Her teachings will expand into short stories, novels, and public speaking to continue her mission of bringing enlightenment to the world.