FINDING YOUR STRENGTH

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This post relates very well with the recent post which I did titled Difficulties InLife. I have been doing topics based on inspirations recently, not purposely, but this is what comes out when I sit down to write. Perhaps I have been bitten by an inspiration bug, if such a bug exists, I have no idea, but I have learned not to fight life so I do not. I wrote about a man here in this post and I promised my self not to write about him, but as I write, it seems as if I leave and another takes my place, one who do not give a damn about what goes out into cyber world.

One who has no care of what anyone thinks, one who is sure and confident and hold the reins of my life in her hands as she walks with me along life’s way, assuring me that all will be alright, I will be alright. I like her. I itch to remove him from the post, remove what has been written about him here, but I find I cannot, and so you are again introduced to apart of my life which I really wish not to deal with, openly. What the hell is wrong with me? This is a serious question not a joke, but let me relax and trust, I must trust.

Happy reading!

Finding your strength at times in life can be very challenging. Life it self is a challenge, it matters not where in the world you live your struggles economically, emotionally and otherwise can be exhaustive. Not everyone was born in this world to  be rich and even the rich have their problems which at times maybe greater than the poor mans own.  Bottom line is we all struggle at some point in our lives and have to pull forth all that we have within us to manage, deal with or cope. Life challenges us into finding our strengths. It is astonishing to me that in recent times the amount of suicides I have heard about through the media. I was saddened by the amount of young people, teenagers who committed suicide in Jamaica in recent years. Suicide is never the way, because as I have stated before in other posts, when a person does this they will have to come back to live that very same life all over again, maybe without a voice, if the means in which they left was by hanging, or perhaps with born with some kind of deformity, depending in how they checked out of life.

There are so many things to face as we travel along life’s ways, and it depends on the strength of your character in how you will deal with it and cope or manage. To smile in the face of adversity is a very hard thing to do, and many people who seem to have physical strengths lacks emotional strength sometimes. Everyday someone, somewhere comes up against something in their life which either breaks them, makes them cry, challenges them, give them grief, pain,  sorrow, heart ache or they believe that there is no way out. Read my post Hope. A terminal diagnosis for anyone seems like doom for that person and their family, someone loosing their job even if it is them alone, no wife/husband or children, it is still  terrifying a thought not to be able to fend for yourself, as well as the person who has a family to care for, a person threatened with the prospect of losing a limb, someone who wants to leave a toxic relationship, a person faced with eviction, someone who has lost their parents or a family member and many other things. How do you find the strength to deal with atrocities?. How do you move on and begin again? When life throws you that curve ball, what do you do, how do you handle it?

My dad told me that as a young boy his mother gave him away, twice.This was common practice in Jamaica in the age of our parents. I am not sure if it is as common nowadays in Jamaica, but I am sure these practices still occur all over the world.  She had eleven children with no means to support them all. On both occasions he was taken to Kingston, the first time to his Aunt. My father told us that the treatment was that of a slave and his master, he was only 12 years old at the time and when he arrived her children stopped doing chores, all was given to him. One day she sent him to the shop and bad luck met him on the way and decided to spoil the day for him, he lost the money. Worried as would anyone, he went home and told the aunty, who said nothing to him. He wondered why and was soon to find out in the most disturbing way that evening. The woman prepared the evenings meal and called everyone to the table including my father, who was the most hungry since he had not eaten since the evening last. The meals were shared out for everyone and my father received his as well. It is also common practice in Jamaica for all to say Grace (pray), before eating and so they all clasped their hands and closed their eyes and said their grace, after they were done they picked up their forks to eat, my father had a rude awakening, just as he picked his fork up, the aunt stretched across, plucked the plate from before him and gave it to the dog, they all laughed. The next day my father ran away and found his way back home, to his mother. He was given away again and met the same treatment and did the same thing. My father said the second time he went home, his mother hugged him and cried while he cried and she promised him that she would never give him away again, no matter what, he said she told him if there was one banana to share, it would have to do. They survived! As a boy, he missed his family,missed  his mother, but he made up his mind amid mal treatment and left. It was do or die and he did. The mother, although she suffered and did what she did believing that it was for the best, the child would be provided for, after a second time of him coming back home and telling of the things he went through, she made up her mind to face the world with her children regardless of the challenges and so she did.

We are all stronger than what we think. It is often times fear which holds us back from finding our strength. When faced with problems, we, most of us, becomes worried at first about all the things we think will happen because of the problems we face. Fear grips us and hold us and torment us into thinking often times that this is it, there is no way out! No solution, and eventually when we are able to calm down and breathe and think , it is until  then that we realize that our minds, through fear, have blown things up more than it really is. There were times in my life when I did not know what to do. When faced with problems I became numb. For the most part I had no support system in terms of friends and family, so I had to recover on my own, trusting God and my ancestors who are always with me. After the children’s  father, I eventually got with someone else. I waited long before I began another relationship, so afraid to try again. Something about ganja man and me, ah doe know but I may have to see a therapist about this, (no therapist, just joking lol). Any way, this one seemed sincere and good, and he was for the most part, but after a while I realized that he was crazy, at least that is what I thought.

I will not go into his story too deep, as it still hurts, not because I miss him or I love him but because it took me so long to get out, to run, bail, cut, skip, skedaddle, do a Usain Bolt or a Shelly-Ann Fraser sprint. I stayed and put up with his strange mood swings, because he was man number three and I thought that was too much. I grew up seeing my mother and father together and I wanted that life, with just one man, but that was not to be. When I realized that this was number three, I felt bad, because in my mind that was two men too many. So I stayed with Mr, High Grade and prayed for him to change. I had prayed to God before I met him that the next man I met would not be a cheat, he would come home every night, he would love my children and me as well and we would love him too. I forgot to tell God to make sure that he was sane, not a functioning mad man under the guise of a Ganja smoking bad man, ( I am laughing at my self as I type, what a life, lol), but seriously I took his behavior which made me and the children so uncomfortable because I had hoped that he would one day change and calm down. I supported the household, I supported him. I had no problem with that, (I have always been independent, having a man home with me changed nothing), because he seemed to want to go out in the street and hustle and I did not want that. I did not want to be caught up in the world of hustling and what came with it, as it were with the children’s father and also I was Obara Meji, someone who helped people daily spiritually with their problems, I was well known and respected.

What would I look like to see my man on Cops? With “Bad boys, bad boys what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they come for you”, singing in the back ground? So I stayed and gave myself all sort of excuses, he is not a cheat I told myself, he comes home every night, he loves me, he is a little bi-polar but the weed helps to calm him down, if I leave him where will he go, I would ask myself and I held on to what had died within months of him coming to America, I did not love him, I just settled. I brought him here, to this country, I felt responsible for him. The time came about a couple years ago when I made up my mind to say no more. It was a battle to end the relationship, he realized he had it good and the behavior which he believed he used to possibly manipulate the relationship he soon realized that it never worked on me. All of a sudden he was willing to change and try to calm his moods and respect my Orishas (which he kicked when he got angry, Ogun at that) and my ancestors and my shrines which he met upon coming here, he begged to stay and promised to become the better person. While he tried everything to stay I had to stand firm on my decision to break the relationship. I had to find that strength. There were times when I felt sorry for him, and I wanted to say stay, but I had to hold it. When He left he went to a family member’s home, he would call me and tell me that he was not doing too good outta road. I would meet him behind my children’s back and give him money and food, he liked my cooking and I still bought him clothes and shoes and pay his phone bill, Although I got rid of him, my heart was still soft for him, not love, no not love. I worried how he would manage and how he would survive without me holding his hands. Wha wrong wid me and man doe eeh God? I had stop loving him long ago, and I knew it, I believe he knew it too, although my actions never showed it. He had killed that love or perhaps I never loved him at all, I wonder at times, probably the ganja fascination, something bout Jamaican men I tell you!. My compassionate nature makes me mother everyone, even my mother, when she lets me in close. I had to cut him off and out of my life if I were to get on with it. So I mustered the strength and it was not easy but I did it.

We are not weak people. We all have a certain strengths within our core being. We need to take the time to find it, when faced with life’s decisions and faced with adversity. We need to stare fear in its face and tell it to hold a proper F*&k off! When faced with dilemmas look for your strength within, it is there. Your knees never wear out, pray, fast, ask God for guidance, find someone to talk to, if you can, seek therapy, find your Priest or Imam, call upon your inner spirit, look to the hills from whence cometh your help, fall on Hope, because once there is life there is hope. Pray for the courage to face the problem, remove pride as in hubris, get rid of shame, all these are fooling emotions, they hold you back from your truest potential, they back you into a corner, and nail you to the proverbial cross, like fear they imprison you, if you let them . If you worked in corporate and you are sacked or laid off and you may now have to sell on the roadside to feed your family, do not fear, do it. It would be better to do so than to steal, where your life or freedom will be jeopardized. Be willing to pull up the boot strings and trod forward, facing life head on and believing. Finding your strength during difficult times will come, we go into survival mode when challenged and we, most of  us over come. I cannot stress meditation enough, because it within these quiet times and peaceful moments  that you are able to build the muscles of your mind, gain the amour of strength, become in touch with you, through this simple exercise you will gain a lot. It is possible to heal yourself through meditation, sending light throughout the body and heal. Believe you can and you will!

Ẹní bá mọ inú rò, á mọ ọpẹ́ ẹ́ dá. / 
Whoever can reason well, will know how to remain ever grateful….Yoruba Proverbs! 

[Maintain a heart and an attitude of gratitude.]

 

All religion are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…Obara Meji!

 

 

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kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
5 years ago

Boy mi fi tell u bout finding ur strength ina haad time. Sometime i have to be sooo strong til when i feel weak it really crushes me. I have to cry wipe my eyes n call my inner strength because i cant afford to stop being strong. Cause any given moment the world will roll over yu. Smh

toy7318
5 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Hi Kia just like that. We are strong people and we have our unseen warriors fighting for us.

kiabubblez
Blogger
kiabubblez
5 years ago

Evening ES family. Life challenges us into finding our strengths.… If that statement aint true! life is full of challenges some are harder to overcome than others but challenges none the less. Some time u have to wonder how many more challenges can u withstand, then u look down n u still standing on ur own two feet. When u could have sworn that last challenge knocked u out cold cold. Like a Mike Tyson punch. Lol However many challenges come ur way always remember that God is always for u n to learn a lesson in each challenge so… Read more »

toy7318
5 years ago

Meditation has done wonders in my life. Obara when you say everyone was not meant to be rich. I love that line and incorporate in my life every day. Everyone life is different.

KB
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KB
5 years ago

😀 just re-reading this post. lol

NuNu
Blogger
5 years ago
Reply to  KB

Howdy ES folks!, There is alot I didn’t understand and I still have much to learn. This has helped me to reconstruct my entire way of thinking. Not looking forward to hardships but I now understand they are necessary for a growth and we do have what’s necessary to overcome. Thanks guys.Have a great weekend and happy president’s day !(when it comes on Monday)

toy7318
5 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Hi Nunu, Same to you honey bun love and light

搜索引擎優化
Blogger
6 years ago

Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
The wordfs in your post seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue oor something to do with
web browsaer compatibility but I thought I’d post to let youu know.
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fixed soon. Thanks

online guitar lessons
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6 years ago

Thanks for sharing such a good idea, piece of writing is nice, thats why
i have read it fully

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago

MTH, big up. Gratitude for the blessings.

MTH
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MTH
6 years ago

Greetings. YW big up yuself. Teach, just as how you bring answer and clarity to ppl so YW has just done. Blessings to you YW!!!

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

My most heartfelt gratitude for your blessing. Si deh. whe yu gi yuh get, karmically HHAHAHA!! Alright no more coffee for me….

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago

OBARA!!! OBARA MEJI!!! See it deh: Yu have ah cheerleader. In fact, you have many just on this site. We face hatred, envy, and a host of other negativity daily. Hate fi wi colour, fi wi beliefs, fi wi principles, and fi wi love. Keep “watching nutten, and keep just guh choo”. All who nuh like it, tell dem fi chat to yu back, chat to yuh … Note: dem haffi behind yu fi si yu back.

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago

Yw, mi deh yah space out, caws just like dat yuh solve a problem, whey ah plague me and ah badda mi mind I knew there was a lesson but what it was I could not figure out! My daughter has been bothering me to write a post on the difficulties in letting go, now I have con write it! Thank you Yw, God bless you

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Without you doing this website, there would be no forum for such amazing discussions. Thank YOU!!!!

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

It was not written for your union to bear children…

See mi and live wid mi, a two different ting…

Morning Obara and Es family…mi will be in and out…love to all

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I think….as humans we have different modes of thinking and different parts of our personality that yearn to be fulfilled (sometimes in direct contradiction with each other). In my opinion, laughter is therapeutic because of its correlation to happiness. Sadly, to be truly happy in a relationship (again, in my opinion) we need more than that in the long-term. That euphoric feeling at the start of courting is merely the potential of our ideal desires being met. Now, you have two separate beings that have to adjust their wants and needs to meet at a comfortable (for both) compromise. To… Read more »

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago

Greetings Obara Meji and the ES crew!! Bwoy teach, I have to say, in my opinion, that yu did love G-Man but as a human being not in a romantic way. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, as whatever dysfunction that you may have thought was there was your opportunity for clarification on who you are: OBARA MEJI. Being a compassionate person is a double edged sword because you can give too much of yourself and have not enough left for yourself, not only financially but also spiritually. So, you must temper your compassion with fearless belief in who you… Read more »

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Tw/Yw

Sorry, last sentence is …others trying to USE the love….

MTH
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MTH
6 years ago

Thank you Teach, Ty and Bubblez for sharing your stories. When you share we lear,, we understand you more and we can identify similarities with ourselves.

Coming to this blog is like water to my soul. I appreciate Obara for taking the time to wrIte these posts daily. Sometime we even get 3 in one day. Love and light to all!!!

Lalibela A Nile (@Lalibela_Nile)
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No one like you Great Teacher; as usual, thank you for the sharing of your extensive wealth… It has been a long day; however, I’ve made it my duty visit your blog so that I can read your work…

Betam amesegënallô!!!

Cami
6 years ago

No matter what time a day I log on there is always something inspiring. Another good read. Obara, you are also kind in saying “bye-bye” with a “proper f*k off”, lol. Too funny. Strength from within ones self is key and a positive support system is second best.

Good Morning All. Have a bless weekend.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

They about an inch and a half long…

My quartz one have personality..

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Sass crisse! Yw, sass. crisse! You are correct!!!!!!!!! Omg just like dat yuh gimme de answer, ah true!!!!!omg!!!!

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Teach, yu tickle mi!!!

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Nite ppz love n positive vibes muaaah

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Muah darling…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Amazon…it little.. It cost $2…

I have a clear quartz and just got an amethyst

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Den it certified…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Obara i read n tried step 1, lol i too read ur earlier on de laurence.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Mi will try over the weekend and post mi results…

I got my second pendulum today and it feel like Christmas…lol

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

No prob…

Who do not like it, nuh look…

I love his writing…he was very deep … The master key a di bomb… Much better than lots of crap out there…

Watch, dem need a white person fi endorse it and boom we swallow it up…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

No worry mi have enough fi di two a we

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Oh please…this is 2014… Mi read earlier posts and buy 3 a him books…read two dem clean clean…the third was big and read 3/4 of it…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

Obara, I cannot find your second post from today…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

Missy is my shadow, she follow me everywhere…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Missy is a Lhasa apso…they are guardian dogs…they are the dogs kept in Tibetan monasteries by the monks to guard …outside they have the Tibetan mastiffs…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

Me and hubby we’re living in another state and came to visit my parents in their state…my dog Missy, had a stuffed toy, a lizard that we called Lizzie…it was the only toy that she played with…

When we came down, we had Lizzie, however we forgot Lizzie there when we left… We did not realize

Do you know my dog missy dream my husband and tell him she need Lizzie and that Lizzie was by my mother?

So hubby call my mom and she confirmed that Lizzie was indeed left behind…she had to Mail Lizzie to us…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

ES is therapy for me. Thank u Ty n Obara for sharing. I have very lil childhood memories n pleasant family memories to share. Yu kno i cam memba bits of molestation n physical abuse the most. The weirdest thing is i never memba the molestion til it start come to me in dreams ina my 20s. guess i blocked it out. Im still learning that i chose this family and trying figure out why.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Kiab we are always here for you…

Meditation has been great for me… I love it…give it a try…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Iis my next step in embracing myself Ty. Trying to get the time mapped out. I wake 5-5:30㏂ for work i get in prayer n affirmation, altar meeting but im rushing if i meditate. My goal is to start pon wkends n evenings.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

It took me a while to figure out how to add it in…once you do…you will love it…

Mek me give you a joke…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

My husband begged me to tell you a story…you know me full a dem…it will lighten the mood

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Nope, she will not get it… I get it though and know that, that is just her…

I feel that is why my wonderful Yeye Osun has been with me and that my grandmother has not left my side…

My father is coming around and is better but I have journeyed so far without them, that I help them where I can but keep my head focused on my journey…

I refuse to be them and want my cup to be always filled with love…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

In time you will know…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

And that you have …

I can say for me…your stories resonate with me…I admire your strength…I pray that one day I will have your strength and tell my story publicly…

I love and live like today is my gift… I have learnt to move on, forgive, face each day anew…

Obara, you have inspired me to meditate, which I do everyday, except Sundays when i sleep in…I get up each day before the sun rises, I pray, meditate, and honor my ancestors…I say my affirmations and face each day in love…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I am my mothers child and if you see how she treat my cousins, you would not know I am her child…

When I had my first son, my mother fly to come and see him, she bring some dollar store toys for him…now this is her first grandchild…

Him born early December, when Christmas time come a pure bashment expensive things she get for my cousins…

To this day, when Christmas come she will say to me, ” mi know Pinckney toys, buy him something and write a from me”

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Thank God…

Same here, i was never raped, molested, or battered…I just mourned for my parents and prayed that God would help me… I prayed daily that God would be my parent… God was good to me and never abandoned me..

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

That same priest gave me my first affirmation…I am a child of God, God is love, God will never abandon me, God loves me…

Let me tell you…those words were healing…

Wherever my beloved priest is, I thank you…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Hmmm the fear of abandonment can cripple yu. Yu strong missis n i read it daily in ur post.Obaraaaaaa Meji nite

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

May God continue to bless her…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I believe you whole heartedly… I am sure what he says is true…

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Blessings Teach, mi drink some cawfee dis mawing, so sorry if mi ah babble. I remember reading the Greek myth of Cassandra. They say she was blessed to know the future but cursed to never be believed. I say, no blessing if you will never be believed (I think it would drive you stark, raving mad). I believe that a very spiritual person may be privy to things that may seem simple or common sense to them. Unfortunately, if they are around people that do not and cannot understand these things it can lead to great frustration. This frustration is… Read more »

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

My mom had me when she was 19, I am the only child for both my parents… Now that I am a mother, I am not sure if I could do what my parents did… I must say though that everywhere I went, I helped others and I received lots of help… I never forgot, one morning before mass…I went to the chapel at school and I cried, tears would not stop…I had not slept in 4 days and looked a mess… A wonderful priest came over and told me that God listened to every prayer and that if I… Read more »

Obara Meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Bubblez wad up

Obara Meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

God bless the priest, mi sure me cudden dweet, nopes, I could not

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

He was wonderful to me… He died a couple of years ago… He taught me a lot…

I know that hate and resentment can be like a sore and fester…they can be like a cancer and metastasize…I have refused both…I took time and healed my heart…I had to work on my fear of abandonment for years…

Obara Meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

I am glad you can see that

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Wow Ty glad yu released them…the resentment makes one bitter. Yu nah enjoy life wid resentment it too heavy like stone.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Kiab, I was bitter for few years… It took time for me…I am grateful that I harbor no resentment towards them…I help them now when I can…with no expectations… I chose them for my parents…I am much stronger than them, they come to me for guidance…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Yes wr chose them lol yes it takes strenght n love to forgive.

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

So from the age of 15, I have had to fend for myself… I cried many nights…den to make matters worse, me fraid of lizards, and like a spite every night di duty croaking lizards would come in my room…for a good 2 years, I did not sleep well.. All I would do was pray, cry, read the psalms and cry some more… I would get up early go to mass at my high school, it was catholic…then go swim, then go to an aerobic class, then go to class…my hope is that I would be so tired that I… Read more »

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

How did you amaze financially, you were a student

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

I can imagine, our stories is almost similar, I got pregnant around that age and got throw out they did not turn the black of their eyes to me, this made me want to help others and give and I know you are the same way, oh wow! I mist up at you story and I still cannot wrap my head around it I just cannot

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

They would send me money… I saved like my life depended on it…

Sometimes when I look back, I know my guides and ancestors played a high role…cause money came to me from the east and west… I was walking on hope road one day, saw a weird bundle, picked it up and found a roll of hundred dollar bills…

Being young, what I wanted were my parents…not money…I wanted someone to ask me how my day was…

Den to add to the matter, my god mother that I was staying with, was in the early stages of dementia…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

OMG! Really! And leaving you alone, a girl child in Jamaica, god bless you, yes you were definitely held up by spirit

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Night kia

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

Your fathers story touched me, tears came to my eyes…it resonated with me…

Although I was not given away, I was left by self by my parents to fend for myself at 15… It was a dark and hard time for me…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Yup him deh pin de list ole duttie dranco

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Have they ever apologized and seen their mistake and owned it?

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Never…

Instead they walk around and boast about how they did for me…and how good parents they were to me…

For years, I resented them…how could my parents leave their only girl child in a country by herself…

I have released that…it took me a while…I know now that I made better choices without them…the experience made me strong…I am actually now grateful that I stood up and said no…but that took me a while to get…while I was going thru it though, it was tuff…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

All these experiences have made you spiritually stronger and spiritually adept…so much that you can help so many…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

How did you manage? You know today I wanted to remember the story so I could recount it correctly I wanted to call g but every time he remembers it he cries, si mi ask mi daughter and she remembered

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

It was hard… Briefly, my mom used to come up for months at a time to work…my father then decided that he was going to join her in America and leave ja because he had hit so e hard times…no plan or preparations were made, they just came up with this idea to migrate… I had just finished 5th form and got accepted to 6th form and uwi…my parents thought that I should redo the last year of high school in the us to get a scholarship…dat Neva mek sense to me …so I said no…so they left me in… Read more »

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

When I read it, I see a strong woman who loves… Who provides for her children, her home… You give whole heartedly… Many can say they have never…

You give without reciept…you love without fear and give chances even when not earned…

Your fairness to other even when they do not deserve it, is remarkable…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Lol Ty, many would say fool fool

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Yuh know ah true Ty, Mek ah own it and stop light of it, tuh know sey after me and him leff him guh chat wid mi family dem whey h know hate me! Betrayer

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

Him just bitter… He knows better and feels that that can sting you…pity he does not know that puts him on the LIST… Mi no sorry fi him… He had a gold mine and true him fool fool, him loose it…him prolly crying right now as we speak…

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

I had a ruff day at work then had tons of errands, kids out of school so more things to do…I have been in and out of class today…but my spirit was with you all…

Obara thanks for sharing the story…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Ase!

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago

Love and light Kiab…this too shall pass…

Meditation and my ancestral altar have been key for me…cause when me step a road, me know know me have mi backitive…one heap a generation behind me…

Problems still come but I can face the better and with my chin up…

Then when problems have me saka saka…me double up on my affirmations…

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago
Reply to  Ty

Nite Ty yea man a bavkative lol

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Obara ES weh unno deh? mi alone free pon fri nite

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Ase ooooo

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Just wednesday mi get sum news dat teef me joy eno mi did fret likkle n seh oh no i have hope n strenght this too shall pass. Mi come home stawt talk aloud. Call pon God, my guides, ancestors n light mi candles. Set an order ask fi all tings weh my candles rep n mediate. Afta likkle while mi feel light mind feel clear, my spirit feel much better. Planning how to work through the situation stawt come to mind. it is cah of this website that me a learn these tings cah a Obara Meji n each… Read more »

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  kiabubblez

Pride as in hubris doe

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

I here wondering whey every body deh today lol

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago

Obara just reading the first paragragh gimi strenght…i know of this she yu speak of. Her name is shadow lol yu ask how i kno cah just last night i watch her powerful strides as we walked n affi ask if mi a lead or she lol Nice read. Bwoy pride n shame walk hand in hand. Mi carry both. U learn early walk wid pride n den dem seh nih be too prideful lol by then u alreafy ina prideville. N shameeee lawd man mi nuh like embarrasment doh shame n pride has made mi stay wid mr mawga… Read more »

MTH
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MTH
6 years ago

Lady T mek mi give yu 101 how to survive in Jamaica:- 1. When yu come DO NOT HYPE if yu can gwan learn some patois so yu can blen in 2. No try gwan like yu rich (a dem time dey dem rob yu). If yu tek a taxi anything the driver tells you as the fare bwal it down (ask for a discount) 3. NEVER, NEVER guh HELLSHIRE BEACH and order fish by yuself…Mi sey dem teef, dem teef, dem teef outta Hellshire. Choose yu fish and pay for it said place..(Pref ask a local fi order fi… Read more »

kiabubblez
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kiabubblez
6 years ago
Reply to  MTH

Str8888888 101 just like dat!! a suh mi move wen i touch down. Dem still kno mi a farrinr but dem nuh badda me. Str8 luv mi get. Luv yaad bad if mi eva wealthy mi live deh full time. Place vibezy yu si lol
Now on to read di post…

Obara meji
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Obara meji
6 years ago
Reply to  MTH

Shame tree bun dungTy

Ty
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Ty
6 years ago
Reply to  Obara meji

And your testimony has been and will continue to be a pilar of strength to so many…

Lady T
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Lady T
6 years ago
Reply to  MTH

Lmao give thx I dnt act no way stush at all but people just think like u said u foreign n I dnt even have to open my mouth they spot me n ball me out. N when I defend myself to their rudeness they r taken a bad like wa do she type a ways. Give thx all the same big up ja all the same

Lady T
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Lady T
6 years ago

Ya Mon mi dey ya. No always dey jus sometimes I can’t type n I take a long time to process things but for sure happy to have this moment in time to finally be apart of the day time ting as oppse to my ususal lonely nights. Mth how is ja I wanna go but no FEAR jamaicans dem treat me to bad out dey.

MTH
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MTH
6 years ago

We need blogs like this that teach about self upliftment. We will never know how strong we are (or can become) until we are tested…

Lady T
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Lady T
6 years ago

I like her too and we should all aspire for her to evolve out of us

Lady T
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Lady T
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady T

I believe the real devil is fear. I admire child for this as they are extremely fearless. They would drop n bus dem head a mil times before they stop climbing. They inspire me I feel that their fearlessness attributes to their purity. Love u all. Can u ffeel the energy on the earth all around or is it just me?

MTH
Blogger
MTH
6 years ago

I have been situations where I thought that things were so bad and I wouldnt survive and after it has passed and you look back you realise it was not so bad…

MTH
Blogger
MTH
6 years ago

Teacher if I have never said it before, let me tell you now, I love you. I was walking in Kingston City under the blazing sun.

When I saw the title of this post, tears came to my eyes. You taught us about hope, courage, jealousy etc. I feel empowered.

NuNu
Blogger
6 years ago

Yes fear is definitely a factor, and we create things that don’t exist and hold on to the lies that fear creates.I’m glad you found the strength to move on from that

Tw/Yw
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Tw/Yw
6 years ago
Reply to  NuNu

Nuns, Big up! Fear is a most crippling and debilitating thing but the journey of facing and overcoming it is empowering. When you face fear of loneliness and overcome it, you have discovered the true value of yourself. Many things are a matter of perspective and if we can learn to shift how e look at something, then almost any problem is solvable. Lord, grant me the ability to appreciate the positives in my life and help me to accept or overcome that which I cannot change…

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