Often times I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had never met my children’s father, but it makes no sense to do that because I know through spiritual understanding that this was predestined and it was something that I could not change at least at the time. I did not know IFA!. I met my children’s father at a time when I needed help. I had a child as a teenager and was put out of my parents home along with the baby. It was sad but not detrimental because my innocence protected me, protected my mind from being angry or sad, or becoming hatefull. I found a room, still went to school and friends helped out. I met him when I was at a friend’s house minding my business, when he and his friends came to visit. He saw me, wanted me, pursued me, got me. It seemed at that time as if I had no choice.
Because of my children I can never regret us being together, coupled with the knowledge that the trials and problems that came with that horrible relationship led me to where I am now, as a Priestess of Osun, to which I am Glad. Finding my place in my Spiritual and Traditional life was a rocky road, but it was worth it. We have read stories on Embracing Spirituality on Family Disconnection, but I know now that although we are related by blood our so-called family is not always our true family. I listened to one Of Jamaica’s new artist this morning while I sat inside my car outside my house just chilling, I-Octane, and he had a line in one of his songs Study yuh friends dem, it said “before yuh pree yuh enemy it’s best to pree yuh bona-fi” WISDOM! also the same with some family members. I could write a book on some bad ones.
I thought as a woman, my mother-in-law (we were not married), would understand when I cried out to her at the disrespect I faced at the hands of her son. Not so!!. Instead she welcome the other women and children into her home, and complained that he gave me a hair salon and that is the reason why she did not like me. As if I had charmed (bewitched) her son!!!. I DID NOT!!…. My own mother turned her back when it became too much and I thought I would die of the shame and disgrace that I faced at the hands of him and his woman/women, being a well-known hair stylist in our small community. I begged her please let me stay with you until I could find my own place with my children and the answer was a solid No!!!
Even when I ran to my parents home for a day, because it could not be more than that, and he would come for me, begging and pleading and promising me that he would stop his wild ways, and I instinctively knew that he lied and refused to go, preferring to go to a hotel instead, until I could find my way, OUT! but they (my parents) would be kind to him and urge me to go with him, ignoring my distress, and I foolishly went. Not because I was so much in love with him, I don’t think I ever was, looking back on it all now, but he was kind to me at a moment when I had no one!. Parents stand behind your children!!!
He had met this woman who had decided that she had met a rich guy and HE was not going to get away regardless of what!. I do not blame her alone although she was hell-bent on breaking us up, he had confessed to me more than one time that his intention was just to have a one time LAY with her, and went about his way, but SHE had other plans and a baby was born. The beginning of my nightmare, but thank God it happened, because it was it that sent me on my spiritual journey. If she had not plagued my life with witchcraft, I would not be who I am today. She came to earth to set me on my spiritual path. He came also to help me along, this I now know, and so I have forgiven them.
As usual I will share one of my distressful stories with you all, but remember I share with you for the possibility of opening up your own eyes to things that maybe similar in your or others that you know life. Experience teaches wisdom!!!
He had been sleeping out frequently, the girl had consumed his mind. We at the house were there and he felt that we were not going anywhere. I was in war, a spiritual wicked battle with one of the most evil women that I have ever encountered. She tried to kill me and my children, (I am quite sane, and I alone know what I went through), she had tied him up spiritually to her so bad that he did not know himself!. I saw that he still loved me, but he could not help himself and I wanted to help him but he would not allow it. Yet whatever she had done to him, did not quell his desire for me, he wanted me often and would fight me if and when I resisted. And I did, Resist, because I, a proud dignified woman should not knowingly allow anyone to sleep with me when they are involved sexually with another. I was too fearful of diseases, which thank God I eluded.
He came home one night, we never knew which night he would come home, it seemed to me that when he did come he resisted going to her, and that showed some strength on his behalf, at least a little. He slept out in the living room on the couch, upset with me because I had refused quite viciously to sleep with him. While I slept, around 3.30am, I woke up to see a spanish man at the foot of my bed. He wore a hat on his head and a white tee shirt. He sat at the edge and had my drawer to my dresser out which contained the baby’s father clean underpants. The man was quite aware that I was watching him but he did not care and I could not speak. From the position of my bed I could see out into my living room even though the door was closed, I saw myself (my spirit had left my body to do this), trying desperately to wake the baby father up, so that he could see the man. The man had a cigarette in his mouth and the ashes at the tip of the lit cigarette was so long, I was fascinated by it. He slyly smiled, took the underwear out and stood up to leave, and then he turned to me and said from his mind “your eyes are quick, maybe I will work with you one day, it will be my pleasure”, and then he calmly walked out.
The next day I opened my salon, and a couple of my friends were in the shop talking to me, some shouted look!, I turned my head to see the same man who I had seen the night before dressed in the same attire, white tee-shirt and a kongol looking white hat. He had a huge cigar in his mouth and he stood at my shop window blowing the smoke unto my glass. He did so not caring that we saw him and when I was able to move and confront him, he calmly walked down the street.
The man was the person who did the witchcraft for her (her Obeah Man), he had sent his own spirit to my house to steal my baby’s father clothes, and he had come in person doing rituals to ruin my Salon.
I know now that my own ancestors/Astral mates allowed it to happen because I had to witness these things to be able to understand them and be able to deal with them. When we go through trials and crosses, we should log them into our memory, because they come to teach and place us on a higher plane in life. A shift in vibration. They come to elevate us. Whenever we fall, there is no where to go but up. We have to be able to understand the lessons that God is teaching us. I was allowed to experience these things so that I could find my life’s path. Everything connected: my mother had to put me out, he had to find me, she had to come in between and so on. I do not tell myself these things to comfort my mind, I know this is how the Universe works. I do not regret my life with him, I would have preferred to have gone through less pain, but God makes no mistakes, This I am sure! I Obara Meji urge you all to pray my darlings. I urge you all to Pray!!
A hunter who has only one arrow does not shoot with careless aim…..Yoruba Proverb
Obara Meji is a spiritualist, Ifa-Orisa practitioner, and teacher of metaphysics. Since 2011 she has used her online platform to share her personal experiences to those seeking answers about spirituality. Her teachings will expand into short stories, novels, and public speaking to continue her mission of bringing enlightenment to the world.