Growing up, I had never heard of the Yoruba people of South Western Nigeria, and I certainly had no idea that I would ever travel to Africa in my life time. It is the hope and dreams of every Jew through out the world to travel to Israel and also the same for every other Ethnic group born outside of their ancestral homeland to one day go. While some Africans throughout the diaspora may have an urge to do so, not many do, even if they have the means to do it, they do not go. The world’s descriptions of Africa and Africans through all sorts of public medium has affected our dear land so negatively, that even though we brag about our color and of our race “Say It Loud, I Am Black And I am Proud”, most blacks are proud just to say it “Loud”, but have nothing to do with the Land from whence their forefathers came, as a matter of fact they are ashamed. There is a song which quotes a line, “Can a mother’s tender care cease toward the child she bare”? Africa, (Alkebulan, the original name for Africa), awaits her children’s return, even if it is just a visit, while the child may forget the mother, the mother will never forget her child.
After the wicked baby father and I broke up, I was on my own, really on my own. It was very frightening for me and I cried and cried for days and weeks and months. I was very young, I had all my children with me, (I began early) and I worried what would happen to me, how would I survive, how would I live down the shame of losing my business, him being with this other woman in the same town where we all lived. Even though I ended the relationship, people would say HE left me for her, and everyone knew of our quarrels and battles, it was a small Jamaican Community and I was a very popular hair stylist. I was well known, now everything crashed! During those times, I did not know that a chapter of my life had closed and that I was heading toward another. Heading toward the direction of my REAL life, which were to have many chapters, and even became more intense, with the exception that I were to have more control after I had learned most of what I needed to. No human would be able to hurt me as much again. The years before, when I battled family and the big bad Wolf (the first baby father) and the Wicked baby father and the enemies who seemed to pop out of nowhere like when playing Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo.
It was almost as if I had to clear out those cobwebs, encumbrances of life, while in the process of having my children one behind each other, before the real living began. Before I came to live on this earth plane, it seemed I had planned for me to have my children early, begin my life young, have a whole lot of life experiences under my belt, in other words live the life and experience of fifty people in order to speed up everything and get me to where I needed to be, quickly. Every thing was planned out for me and with the approval and assistance of the Universe. What I thought was my hell would turn out to be wonderful bliss, a source of comfort and a legacy for my children who I cared the most about in life. What I went through, in all the posts which I have written about here on Embracing Spirituality was God’s doing and that of my ancestors and my spiritual guides, and also my Omo Orisha Osun and My Ifa, and through it all, although my human mind felt pain and suffering, my spirit was being taught, groomed, loved cherished and elevated all at the same time. I was in school as we all are, but I was being trained by my spiritual elders to become Obara Meji. What a wonderful thing that happened to me!
I went through a grueling time when I was becoming awake, I will spare you all the details today, and just recount a few, for to me to tell all, time would not allow. There is a Showtime Series called Penny Dreadful, where you will find a character name Vanessa Hives, her awakening, or what she experienced during her awakening is similar to what I went through, so much that it is quite hard for me to watch. There are exceptions however for me in her story, where in which her awakening stemmed from a very Salacious encounter, mine was not, she had to be locked up in a padded room in a straight jacket, although there were times where I worried that I would get there, I thank my ancestors that I was spared that, and she now works although unwillingly with the Devil, el Diablo, (this is a T.V show) I do not, how could I? he does not exist!
While I went through my awakening, there were times in the mornings when I would wake up and there was a huge black book thrust under my chin and I found myself reading it. My eyes moving like heads at a tennis match, left to right and right to left, fast. There were bold black words on crisp white pages which seemed like English words, but I was never sure. I never saw who placed the book there, only that I sat up in my bed and read this book which was the biggest book I had ever seen, after which I remembered nothing. I later learned that the knowledge I acquired there, I was to use later on in my life, just not while in school. Now I know you are all wondering in which state of being was I while this was happening, and I will try as much as I can to tell you, although the words I will use for the proper description escapes me or rather I cannot find. I would see myself laying on the bed, these things would happen around 5:30 – 6 am in the mornings. It were as if I hovered somewhere and watched me sit up with my back against my pillows and then I would find myself in my body while someone or something who I have never seen thrust this book under my chin, and the reading began.
While these things happened to me, it took three years to complete the book. I think it was completed, although I am uncertain, but within the depth of heart says it was. The first year when it began, I lost my speech, or rather I lost the ability to speak English or Patois. My whole body was weak and I needed help to get out of bed, I could not eat regular food, so the children’s nanny fed me a diet of cooked calaloo and liver water, boiling the liver and giving me the water to drink. Wood root tonic helped along with Vitamin B6 or 12. Whenever I tried to speak, another language came out, all kinds of languages. At first I struggled to accept that I was not losing my mind, until the nanny assured me that if I were I would not have any idea of the fact. During these times, it was at nights while all slept that my teachers came, all non-physical beings, and I laid alone in my room, lights on, afraid to turn them off and afraid to go to sleep, because I knew the moment I slept, I would be taken on journeys all over the world and within time and space and meet many people there.
It was on these journeys that I learned the uses of herbs and plants, it was on these journeys I learned how to diagnose an illness through spirit, it was on these journeys that I realized the power of the river and that that of the Ocean and of the wind and of lightening and thunder, and on these journeys where I realized that we, all of us in the world were all connected and were no different from each other regardless of our skin color. It was on these journeys I realized that nobody died, ever! It was on these journeys I knew that there were many worlds, It was on these journeys I became awake, fully awake. For three years, I went through some intense training which in the first year made me weak and almost unable to get out of bed, after which my language changed, this was when I was being trained in becoming a medium, a source through which spirits could pass through and speak, give messages, warn, prophesy, so the language which I was familiar with was removed from me and I was taught other languages. I knew it not then, and it took a long time for me to realize that this was why I had lost the ability to speak the English language at the time. Within the third year I had regained my strength, the Nanny had gone back to Jamaica where she took two of my small children to care for until I could manage, I was still in training, but I was stronger and my language had returned and also people were being introduced to me by others who I knew. Real people who knew me or even lived with me at one time or the other would contact me via the telephone, where I would pray for them and as I prayed, their whole lives would open up to me.
I could see them, where ever they were, I saw them. I saw what they wore, their house or apartment, I saw their aura, and I heard what they thought, I saw their professions and their children, I saw their whole lives and while in prayer I would tell them all I saw, if they were to die, I saw their death or the death of whom they loved, I could tell the time and hour in which death would come, and I could speak to death and appeal to it to give another chance, I did all these things. It was as if I were in a trance when all these were happening, and when I came out of the trance, I remembered nothing. My name began to spread, and people sought me out, people far and near heard of me and I struggled to believe my new life. I became a reader and diviner. I had no idea while I grew up that this was what I would become. I knew not that this were to be my destiny, the reason I came into being, or one of.
Here I was a spiritualist having gone through an initiation, which lasted for three years, formally, because I was being prepared since the day I was born unbeknownst to me. I went to the sea and did rituals there, honoring the Ocean and the deity which resides there, who I had met on some of my many journeys during my initiation, I went to the river and did the same, I would go to the woods by myself, unafraid and honor the spirits there as I had met them all. I built an altar, which my Padrino had instructed me how to, and I honored my ancestors there, and I settled into my life as who I had become. I realized that I had the uncanny ability to explain almost everything as it relates to spirituality and metaphysics, (the big black book) I knew what many did not know. I began to search books hoping to find in them things that I knew for sure, and although some books began well, they would always fall short of something. Theosophy spoke to me, and I loved Alice Bailey’s work and Madame Blavatsky, Rudolf Stiener, and also Gurjdieff’s, among others. Dr. L. W. de Laurence made sense to me and I giggled at times at the fear the mere mention of his name drove into many people, Jamaicans especially and I respected also the likes of Eliphas Levi. I knew a lot, but not enough and I wanted to learn more.
I knew how the Universe worked, I knew about the nine dimensions within space and time and all the realms within. The greatest discovery throughout my journeys was the realization that the Devil did not exist, and that there were many like Jesus who came before, I met them, including him. I realized that no spirit being or entity ever met what we called God, it was an impossible fete, no one dared meet the All, no one! It was possible to be in his presence, and to the light beings, those who worked within the realms of spirit, to go close but to behold the Lord, Impossible! To do so, that spirit or being, deity or entity would cease to exist, cease to exist! I realized that we were all fragments of this great All, a tiny speck of his form and to meet this great being, or come into its presence would mean to be absorbed back into it, as when a sponge meets water, sucked into its form and be no more. I realized that God created Good and Bad, and they were all created for their specific purpose, I realized that God had no adversaries, none. I realized that I was special and had my own claim to being special as with all of us and that madness as we see it, insane people were well but operating off a different frequency than us here in this dimension, these people were too high to live among us, they were spirit beings who could not function in our world. I realized so many things but of them, the most important was that I self realized!
No turning back, I self realized and there was no turning back, only pushing forward. I knew that I had further to go, but to where? I had no Idea. Within my journey and with all the books that I read, I did not see the African I represented. He was not present in the Bible, or the Bhagavad Gita or Vedic scriptures, The Torah, The Koran, The Kaballah, within the texts or subjects belonging to Theosophy, or among the ascended Masters, there but only one was represented and his name was Afra, (lol, go figure). Written out of life and all the holy books was my father, my mother, my sisters, my brothers, my ancestors, myself. I knew this not to be so, and so I began to search there. I remembered the book on Elegua which I found in my teenage years, and Mr, Mitchel telling me that it belonged to the Cuban traditional religion, but when I searched further, I realized that Elegua was indeed, Elgba, Esu (eh-shu) as he is called in Africa, an Orisha. I realized that this all came from Africa and that the Africans had this whole philosophy concerning all of cosmology and creation, I heard Angels sing, as I found my family. I had known this but not in great details. Padrino had given me snap shots of it but there were no literature to be found coming from the African on this tradition, they kept it sacred. This was the true beginning of my life, I had been born again, the first initiation during the three years I was in training, I was born of Spirit, the second initiation came when I went to church and became baptized, I was born of the water, and of the blood would come when I went to Africa. I had no idea that I would go, no idea that I had more initiations to do, I had no Idea that in Lagos, Nigeria Obara Meji waited for me, with folded arms, Obara Meji waited patiently, knowing that her daughter would come, and soon.
I will continue this story tomorrow.
Ẹni tó dúró tini nígbà ìpọ́njú ni ọ̀rẹ́ òtítọ́.
Whoever sticks with one through tough times is the true friend….Yoruba Proverb!
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love….Obara Meji!