WISE MUSINGS OF A MAD MAN

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Whenever I write a post it it comes from somewhere deep within. I always write my truth, and I try to do it as tastefully and with some humor. Life is challenging enough for us to be too serious about it, humor takes the edge off. I had fun writing Fatty Sandra last week, and also had fun with you guys and your comments. I too read along with you after I published the post and became fascinated with the cast of characters.

Though I was genuinely impressed with Killfuss (a mind like his and what he does is fascinating to me) my favorite character believe it or not was Bugsy. Yes, Bugsy. When I began to write Fatty Sandra and The Baby duppy, as my fingers tapped the keys, I had no idea Bugsy would appear, I was surprised like all of you when he did. And then to find out after that he was an important part of why most of the family survived the Obeah sent their way, it made me look deeper into how many people we meet are underestimated,. Also it made me think about what is looked upon as the “dregs” of society and who some of them really are.

There was a time when my own family speculated about my mental health, even I. It was hush talk, but they wondered, and I worried, this was during the time of my first initiation into spirituality, which took three years, and I don’t know if I will ever get over what I went through, read here. Time has lessened the pain of it, but whenever I think about those times, as I am doing now, something shifts my heart just a wee bit. Which shows improvement on my behalf, because times gone by, my key board would be drenched with tears. My awakening was hard, very hard.

It was a rough journey to becoming me, and while I do not regret it, I thank all that is great, divine and holy that my children did not have to pass through what I went through. I am the one who woke them up, gently, safely and lovingly. I guess that was the contract I made before coming into being, “wake me up fully when the time is right after I get to the world, so that my children will not have to pass through the fire as I” I guess I stated, and boy did they. There was a time I knew a mad man, or what some people called a mad man. To me he was a friend, to be honest I thought of him only after Fatty Sandra was written, but I had long ago drafted a post on him. His name was Bagga. He was Jamaican who had been living in America since he was a child. He was a quiet fellow, always clean and neatly dressed, respectful, never trouble some. As I grew, and become myself, I always at times reflected on things Bagga would say to me. Let me copy and paste the drafted post I did og Bagga so long ago.

The post was titled Musings of Mad Man Bagga

Yesterday I spoke to my father and while we spoke he remembered Bagga, a fellow who lived on the street where I lived as a young girl in America. Bagga was Jamaican like me, and he was the only child of his mother. His father had died when he was young. When My dad brought Bagga up in our conversation, his image came clear to me, and I remembered when we use to sit and talk. It made me sad that I did not know what a great treasure Bagga was, but now looking back Bagga taught me plenty, he also was a great teacher of mine.

How innocent are children, it is as we grow, the world and all that we encounter remove the innocence and harden some of us. The young have no judgement,they do not hate or discriminate, they are trusting, this is why it is especially sad when an adult violate a young child’s trust, teach the child to hate or discriminate, impose on them their (the adult) personality.  Bagga was a tall man, and big in body, he was always clean and neatly dressed. He lived with his mother in the building across from ours, and he would get up early in the mornings and put out the garbage for the building which was the supers (janitor for the building) job, but Bagga did it anyway. He would sweep the whole block, and help old people carry their bags up and down the stairs, if they gave him money he would try to refuse it. Looking at Bagga, one would never know that he had a mental problem ( I still do not believe he was mad, but his mother told my parents that he diagnosed something, I forget), but something was not correct with him according to people, and it took me a long time to realize that something was indeed off, but was it madness?.

Bagga was one who use to sit on our stoop with James my friend (he was a veteran and suffered from PTSD) and the  other old men, read here , he never drank nor did he speak much when the others were around. At times I would meet him on the stoop before anyone came and he would greet me well by saying “Hey pretty Princess, how yuh doing?  I would answer him and ask about his health and we would sit quietly watching the children play in the streets.

Bagga would speak to me at times.

Bagga would say things like this;

“What’s your name again?” I would tell him my name

He said “Ok Let me tell you this Obara, look at the moon, and the sun do you know they are related? His topics were always spiritual, I paid no attention to that fact back then.

I would shake my head, in saying no, I didn’t know and Bagga would say, “You young fool, not that you foolish Obara ( he was always creful of hurting people feeling), but your youth obstruct your mind from seeing the real in most things, for instance Obara, what color shirt am I wearing?

I would answer Black, it was a Black polo shirt that Bagga had on that day with Khaki colored shorts, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles could see that, but Bagga told me that the shirt was red (the others hearing this would laugh, but he ignored them), he would say;

“Obara the world want to fool you but you have got to be wise, they tell you it is black, and so black is what you see when you see red and red is black when you see it”. At the time this confused me, but I somehow had interest in what he was saying and wanted him to explain.

I asked him how come and he told me that there is a war going on, but nobody knows and the war is without guns, it is the war with peoples minds. He said “Obara, they get us through the foods, and when you reject what they are telling you or selling you they say that you are crazy, Obara, let me teach you”, he would say.

“Have you ever heard from anyone that the sun and the moon were related?

Of course I answered no. He explained that the Sun and the moon were of the same parent which was the Earth, they were born. Warning bells began to ring in my head, as something would say to me, “cukoo, cukoo, cokoo”! like the cukoo bird chiming from the clock. Another voice would tell me, to listen to him, there is truth and facts to his reasoning’s they are just jumbled up.

Bagga would tell me that all that was around us speaks to us everyday and that the sun had a voice. He called it Ra. He said the ancient Egyptians served Ra the sun and that Ra was the one who created all and everything, even us. At the time I was Christian minded so I would interrupt his foolishness and told him, that God, the God of Abraham created human beings. Bagga would laugh and say “Obara yuh ah grow, God of which Abraham”, Nothing like that he continued. “Who was Abraham, where him come from”? Obara, open up yuh mind and listen to me, mi telling you de truth.” Then after saying this he would get up and walk way from the stoop. I would call out to him “Bagga, whey yuh going?” and he would reply “Obara, dem get you already, yuh mind done, dem done mek yuh believe inna de bible foolishness, what color is my  shirt, he would ask again? and I made sure to tell him red. Bagga would turn around look at me, smile and say, ok, maybe yuh soon ready and then he would leave.

I think at that young age, I too was not “normal”, because Bagga was my friend and I looked forward to sitting with him on my stoop, or taking a walk with him to the store. My mother would say “why yuh love hang out wid dah mad bwoy deh”, and the neighborhood would tease me and call him my best friend;

“Hate is hate, love is love is two that don’t agree but I like hate more than love, because hate is real and cannot hide itself. Yes, hate show on the face and in the speech and in the actions, while love is mimicked by everyone. So no one is ever sure when loves comes around, but hate loves to announce itself”. He told me this often. To others it made no sense, to me also at the time, but later as I came into my self. I realized the wisdom within his words and reasoning.

There are may ways to love and to feel love and also to show it, but hate is just hate, an emotions that rivals love but is very hard to disguise even with the best actor. Hate announces it self, and is very hard to disguise. I have seen this over and over again in my life. The teachings about the color of his shirt, Bagga, wanted to let me know that it is what I have been taught that I believe as true and real. But not because society calls a black shirt black, it means it is that color, he wanted me to realize that my reality was mine to create, and to move away from what is considered the norm. I have done that.

Once he cooked for me and I turned it down, at first he seemed offended and ate the food in front of me, telling me afterward, that “see, I did not poison it”. I had no fear of poisoning, but in my mind, this was something a mad man cooked, how could I eat it. I was silent with him while we sat on my stoop. He then got up to leave. He turned to me and said “Obara, yuh ready for the world now”. I looked at him quizzically and he smiled. He said “I tested you with the food, and you did not eat it, don’t ever eat from people, this is how they got me”, and with that he crossed the street. To this day, I remember what he told me, and it was told to me years after that I should not eat any how, meaning I should be careful whom I eat from.

Lessons can come from anyone, it is never good to thumb your nose down at anyone. Bagga was a mad man according to whatever diagnosis was given and to those who were too asleep to understand his wisdom. I can truly say that he was a teacher to me, one that I greatly admire and respect.

 

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Kaycee
Blogger
Kaycee
1 year ago

Please Obara meji I will be happy if you see my text.. How can I perform the cleansing bath ritual in my home, please attend to me. Please talk to me in my email

VisionsNDreams
1 year ago

Bagga sounds like a few people I’ve met along my path – starting from 3 yrs old (as far back as my memory goes), and I’ve always had compassion for them. I would listen to them when others wouldn’t. I felt their pain – being ostracized, and rejected by society ,including their own. I would feel like even though the things being communicated, were sometimes off it would some how make sense eventually. These kinds of people live on a higher frequency that ‘normal’ people are not able to handle. I grew up being labeled ‘mad’ woman by certain relatives.… Read more »

Cami
3 years ago

I’ve had that love conversation in a strange form aa well. The perdon says that the word love can be use carelessly. (Misused) because anyone can say it with a straight face. Bagga correct! Because hate is very apparent.

Cami
3 years ago
Reply to  Cami

*person.

Cami
3 years ago

Good morning, Obara, I have very close ties with mad people and respect them as humans with a strangeness to them. I don’t teally use the term illness because I think they are far from ill. My connection to them are by grandaunts and second cousins in my paternal side.

sue
Blogger
sue
3 years ago

Reading this reminded me of a few occasions where I met people like Bagga even to date. I remember when I use to go for lunch, no matter the time, a man who people labelled as mad always followed me. I thought I was being stalked. One day I got the courage to stop in my track and asked “why are you always following me?” He just smiled and never answered but kept watching. Another time, another man who people considered homeless or mad, one day I passed him, he grabbed my hand and said “there is my angel, ray… Read more »

ada
Blogger
ada
3 years ago

Still working towards my cleansing bath…. Sent my phone numbers but still no calls…. Ada

Natalie
Blogger
Natalie
3 years ago

Many times I come across people like Bagga. Most of them are chided by others because of how deep their reasoning are and their interpretation of how we view things. I always respect their views. I see them as messengers. Many of us are afraid to take risks (my enemy too) because it is not the norm and what society expects from us but if you read up on most successful people you will find that many of them went on a spiritual path finding out who they are and taking the bull by its horn and believe in what… Read more »

Kae
Blogger
Kae
3 years ago
Reply to  Natalie

Amazing ❤️ Very inspirational!

Natalie
Blogger
Natalie
3 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Thanks Ms. Obara very grateful!!

Cami
3 years ago
Reply to  Natalie

Great post. Congratulations on being recognized.

Kaycee
Blogger
Kaycee
1 year ago
Reply to  Natalie

please how can I perform the cleansing bath ritual?. Please where is your email?

paul
Blogger
paul
3 years ago

hi obara. i emailed you re: classes.

Kevin
Blogger
Kevin
3 years ago

Bagga was a genius. Often times I’ve thought to myself that many of the people considered mad that I’ve come across just knew something most people didn’t and perhaps their human intellect could not bare the truth, making them behave in and was that is seen as abnormal to general society.

Lincoln
3 years ago

Morning Obara- When I was young I had a similar occurrence with my coach and a mad man. There was a mad man who would always come around training and talk alot of stuff about how he is a great athlete and say stuff we didn’t understand. I was 16 and this man was I would say in his 30 maybe 40s, never know because he was scruffy looking at times but he would always try to train along side us. Obviously being in Jamaica the kids training would tease him and talk about he is mad but they didn’t… Read more »

Lincoln
3 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

No problem Teach

CharMD
3 years ago

Very nice story about Bagga. He still had his innocence but wisdom at the same time, although he was perceived as challenged. I know of a few people that once they were give something like flowers or food they weren’t the same. I think that’s what happened to my nephew. Its interesting that he knew how it happened to him. I wonder why mom did bring him for spiritual help. Do you think that would’ve helped him?

KTB
KTB
3 years ago

O as you say ptsd earlier mi a think to myself seh chumps(trump) ago cause people to have ptsd loool Anyway many peoole are like bagga. I remember my neighbor from I was young. She was mad. I hope her transition was nice as she was harmless and nice at times. She was the first person to ever discuss AIDS. said “They” gave to her only son. She knew somethings smh But it was times she would walk road naked as a newborn while smoking her long cigarettes lol talkng to her self or maybe beings..now I know little more.… Read more »

Nunu
Blogger
Nunu
3 years ago

Good morning fam! remember the phrase,If many believe something to be true, then it must be true. Bagga seh nope not so but as you said in t he post going against the norm will get you labeled as crazy or worse ostracized

Nunu
Blogger
Nunu
3 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

but when yuh find out seh blue nuh really blue, nuh guh bawl it out like Girlie cause people go look pon yuh like Bagga an Bugsy an seh, ” di poor ting a mad, oh gawd” or on the flip “Di devil deh tek har weh” lol

Kae
Blogger
Kae
3 years ago

Such a great read. Very comforting in a way, both the picture used and the story 🙂

KTB
KTB
3 years ago

Obaraaaaaaaaaaaa Good morning dear! Hello ES bloggers

KTB
KTB
3 years ago
Reply to  Obara Meji

Still waiting on your call….

Zoe
Blogger
Zoe
3 years ago

This was amazing and true to the lesson, you never know where you might learn something, i remember when i was younger, my grandma used to tell me all these things that i didnt really pay attention to as a child, even my father who even as a child and even now as an adult i dismiss at times, he always told me never to sleep in completely darkness as a kid *never listened lol* he would aways turn on the lights whenever i took them off, now i never sleep in complete darkness, he is the only adult who… Read more »

Carpediem
Blogger
Carpediem
3 years ago

Good day Obara, excellent post. Things are never what they appear to be only few know what they really are. Bagga is a great lesson on how evil destroy the good in people. Bagga story remind me about lickle Johnny, and sometimes not saying much can save our life and sanity. Blessings!

MTH
Blogger
MTH
3 years ago

Blessings Teach. Another awesome post. Just after 5 am here and I am up reading this. A powerful start to my day. Reading the Fatty story, I liked Bugsy as well. The saying the stone the builder refuse, always turn the head corner stone. I absolutely love Bagga. I love his reasoning, what a ‘Mad’ Man knowledgeable. I will imprint the lesson about hate as he told you in my mind forever.

Teach, I appreciate all the time and effort you dedicate to writing and teaching us. I salute you.

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