“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
How to stay calm when chaos arrives is one of the hardest things to accomplish. Chaos is needed for change to come through. Have you ever gone through a rough and terrible time in your life, no job, no home, husband or wife cheating, and all through this you don’t see hope, yet from out no where help comes and your life as you knew it before becomes even better?. Life cannot be happy and pleasant all the time, we must experience conflict and disappointments as we travel along life’s way. Often times we look at other people lives and wish we had their lives, but we do not know the burden we are capable of carrying. Life is a challenge, some have it hard while some live easy, or so we think. There is no such thing as living easy, as a matter of fact my husband who is a Babalawo once told me that any person who has an easy life will not have a long life, we must all experience some bad along the way, we just have to pray that we do not meet devastation. Many of us travel through life not realizing or counting our blessings, only remembering the bad and paying little attention to the good things which are apart of our lives.
When blessings comes in any form other than material it is often not even thought of as such. For instance, a wife may have a husband who does not work, he cannot find work, not because he has not tried but because he just has not been able to secure one. Mean while he stays at home while the wife goes to work and look after the children. He cooks and cleans and does his best to keep the home good. The wife on the other hand begins to get tired of bringing home the bread and silently begins to resent him, her treatment of him shows her feelings and although he senses it, he tries to keep it together, but he begins to feel less than himself. She resents him because often times she comes home he is watching the television or laying in bed relaxing and she feels that their role reversal just isn’t fair to her. But other than the feelings of resentment that she has, there is no problem, another person watching her life from outside her window may say she has the best life, but unfortunately many people count their blessing in gold, being blinded by the material side of life . Here in this family with these couple, the children are well taken care of and happy, the house is clean, the husband loves her and is very faithful and dedicated to his family, on top of all that they are in good standing with all their creditors, due to his management of their finances. We pray for blessings but when it comes we do not recognize it, often times it disguises itself and tests you. I once had a client, for the purpose of this story I will call her Pepe.
Pepe was a Jamaican woman involved with an African man from Ghana, His name was Wilfred, for two years they lived together and were in love, according to Pepe no one had ever shown her more love than Wilfred and she had never loved anyone as she loved him. He introduced her to his family and all his friends, they were like twin souls. One day Wilfred came home and told her after he had sat her down that they needed to break up, shocked out of her wits Pepe sputtered out why!..Wilfred calmly told her that she had to find somewhere else to live and that he did not want the relationship anymore. Of course Pepe asked all the right questions, was it another woman, did he fall out of love with her, was she a burden, to which he answered no to all. No reason was given to her other than she had to move, they were through. During those awful times for Pepe she said he treated her well, while waiting for her to find somewhere, of course all intimacies between them stopped ,and he slept on the couch while Pepe cried day and night with no comfort, she had lost her true love and she had no idea why.
The reason Pepe had come to me was for me to fix everything, make Wilfred love her again, she wanted me to put her life back together, she didn’t care how it was done just as long as it was fixed. The reading told her that Wilfred was not her destiny and that she should move ahead with her life and if she tried to hold onto Wilfred she would miss the blessing which was already on the way for her from within the universe…oonuh can imagine the things Pepe wanted me to do!, which I do not condone. Pepe pleaded with me to help her, she said she knew I could, why can’t I feel her pain! if I did not help her she would die she shouted as she hugged herself and bawled!! After that day I did not hear from Pepe for a year. I should add that Pepe did not have a green card when she was with Wilfred and he had promised to marry her and file for her and her two children who lived In Jamaica with their Grandmother. Pepe called me one day, I was glad and surprised to hear from her and asked her how she was doing. Pepe told me that when she left me that day she thought about suicide, but had to rethink it because of her children. She said she went home and was so depressed that she couldn’t eat and had lost so much weight. Wilfred kept on asking her if she found somewhere and so she found the strength to go looking for an apartment. In her search she found an apartment building and spoke to the super who was a Spanish man in his late thirties. Pepe said she broke down and explained her plight to him and he assisted her in getting a one bed room apartment in the building. She moved, and began to get herself together emotionally but something greater happened, she became involved and eventually married the super, the Spanish man who assisted her in getting the one bedroom apartment. He has since filed a green card petition for Pepe and also her children. Alas Pepe was happy!!…Pepe saw her break up with Wilfred as the most devastating thing ever, but God made way for her to meet her destiny,….. remember what her reading told her?…
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
― Oprah Winfrey
It is hard to view anything which brings pain or sorrow as something which is needed for the greater good. We quickly feel sorry for ourselves when we often become overwhelmed when faced with the terror or challenges of life. And yet if we were to venture outside and get at good look at the world, and see the suffering which many people have to endure it would make ours seem like a walk in the park. This world operates off chaos, we are here to experience life as spiritual souls in human bodies. We cannot learn if everything is in order or we feel no pain, or have no idea what suffering is, life would not be what it is if we did not have stories to tell.
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.Khalil Gibran
Ibi tí à ńlọ là ńwò, a kì í wo ibi tí a ti ṣubú. /
We ought to focus on where we are going, not where we have fallen. Yoruba Proverb!
[Let go of past failures; Set your eyes on your goals]
We learn from experience, not only ours but of other people. I found this article on the internet and thought I would share it.
Why Bad Things Happen
How different religions view the reasons for undeserved human suffering. BY: Ellen Leventry
For centuries people have been asking, “Why, God, why?” when disaster strikes. And for centuries, religion has been trying to answer the question of how a loving or just God could allow humans to endure such suffering. While Western traditions strive to teach that God’s power and goodness are, indeed, compatible with the suffering of innocents, many Eastern faiths view undeserved suffering as a result of a cosmic law of moral cause and effect.
According to the
first two Noble Truths of Buddhism
all of life is suffering and suffering is caused by attachments to worldly things. This attachment, which can take the form of greed, hatred, and ignorance in this life and past lives, can, unless mitigated, return as more suffering (karma). According to the Dhammapada, “By oneself the evil is done, and it is oneself who suffers: by oneself the evil is not done, and by one’s Self one becomes pure.” Suffering
is not necessarily punishment from a divine being, but rather something that must be transcended by not clinging to material objects or relationships.
According to Lama Surya Das
, bad things happen to good people “because there are myriad karmic causes conspiring to bring about any particular event, which then becomes cause for other effects to take place.”
The question of the unjustified suffering of the innocent is at the heart of Christianity, which holds that a sinless man (Jesus) suffered and died for the sins of humanity. Some Christians see suffering as God’s punishment of sinful people or the world as a whole. Others see such suffering as a way a loving God tests the faith and fortitude of survivors. According to St. Paul, Christians should rejoice in suffering because it produces endurance, hope and character (Romans 5:3-5). Still other Christians see innocents’ suffering as evidence of the inscrutable will of a God who “works in mysterious ways” toward an ultimate but unknowable good. Some Christians offer no explanation but, like Job, seek to trust in God. In the past, Roman Catholic Christians were taught that they should “offer up” pain, with the idea that through faith, suffering that seems meaningless can be redeemed and transformed.
The fourth-century saint Augustine says, “God would not allow any evil to exist unless out of it he could draw a greater good. This is part of the wisdom and goodness of God.”
Many Hindus view suffering as punishment for misdeeds committed in this lifetime or past lives. Even a seemingly innocent person who has not eradicated bad karma from past lives through charitable deeds is susceptible to such payback. Individuals’ suffering should be placed in the broader context of a cosmic cycle of birth, life, destruction and rebirth. Hindus believe victims will be reincarnated and may be happier in their next life.
The very word “Islam” means “submission.” Many Muslims understand that to include suffering–enduring pain or loss is a way of submitting to the will of Allah. Some suffering is Satan’s doing or is the work of his cohorts in the spirit world (the “jinn”) and is allowed by Allah as a test of humility and faith. Many Muslims believe suffering and adversity strengthen one’s faith, as pain often leads to repentance and prayer and good deeds.
Sometimes it is believed that suffering is caused by a weakness in one’s devotion to God. Generally, it is believed that God gave humans free will to feel pleasure and pain, and His purpose in allowing deep suffering of the innocent must be good even if mysterious. God suffers along with the sufferer. Many believe that God’s sense of justice, and therefore the reasons for human suffering, are unknowable. To some Jews, knowing why God allows suffering is not as important as knowing that God will punish the perpetrators. All Jews place high importance on working to help those in need; the concept of tikkun olam, or repairing the world, will help allay undeserved suffering. Interestingly, suffering is the only issue listed in the Talmud that could lead a person to lose faith in God.