Hello my beautiful babies, yes I said babies, as I am your spiritual elder (grinning while I type), how are you all doing? Yesterday new comer to the blog Ebony sent me a very interesting article which I could not wait to share with you. Mi love share, in real life mi too kind and I am known for it and sometimes even criticized for it, if someting can guh suh.
I will put the link to the post below for you to read, but first let me expound on the subject of the article since this is something I always made reference to throughout some of my posts, but never gave it any singular attention. I always give my own experience often times when writing a post. I have nothing to hide and if sharing what I went through, no matter how painful the memory, will allow another person to understand their life or what they are going through, then I say it is worth it.
I would wish you to read here, as I tell my story of my awakening, left out however was the details of how I felt mentally while going through what I could easily describe as suffering, below in italics is an excerpt of said post:
I went through a grueling time when I was becoming awake, I will spare you all the details today, and just recount a few, for to me to tell all, time would not allow. There is a Showtime Series called Penny Dreadful, where you will find a character name Vanessa Hives, her awakening, or what she experienced during her awakening is similar to what I went through, so much that it is quite hard for me to watch. There are exceptions however for me in her story, where in which her awakening stemmed from a very Salacious encounter, mine was not, she had to be locked up in a padded room in a straight jacket, although there were times where I worried that I would get there, I thank my ancestors that I was spared that, and she now works although unwillingly with the Devil, el Diablo, (this is a T.V show) I do not, how could I? he does not exist!
The first year when it began, I lost my speech, or rather I lost the ability to speak English or Patois. My whole body was weak and I needed help to get out of bed, I could not eat regular food, so the children’s nanny fed me a diet of cooked calaloo and liver water, boiling the liver and giving me the water to drink. Wood root tonic helped along with Vitamin B6 or 12. Whenever I tried to speak, another language came out, all kinds of languages. At first I struggled to accept that I was not losing my mind, until the nanny assured me that if I were I would not have any idea of the fact.
My awakening was very jarring. There were times I thought that my enemy (instead of saying “I” or “me” I use this term when referring myself with any negative thing. Remember words, sounds, power) would go mad. I struggled with depression because of my plight and it brought anxiety and panic attacks. I had racing thoughts and I felt pins and needles in my hands and feet all the time, which suggested nerves gone or going bad. I began my true awakening (they have been gently shaking me from I was a child) after the wicked baby father and I broke up. It was a very stressful time for me. What was curious however, was that a week before the break up, (our relationship was very tumultuous, he was a horrible fellow) I had a dream that he would come and take his clothes and leave. Someone spoke to me in the dream telling me he would do this though I did not see the person. They told me that it would be them that would make him do this to prove to me that they were there and real, and he would return after a week but would leave again permanently… And he did all that was said . They said I needed not to be with any man while I entered school as I was about to now.
There are many who are in the mental institutions who are highly spiritual people operating off a different frequency than we do here in this realm. They are not crazy as how we define madness here, but are very much in touch with other realities. They begin to speak what we may believe is gibberish, and do unthinkable or unspeakable things, some are even violent and are perceived to be dangerous. People will say that they have lost reality to this world, and this saying is quite correct, but this is because their vibrations have heightened and so they cannot function in our world as they cannot think or see things as how we do. This, however does not suggest insanity but people who have heightened senses and can see, hear or feel what others cannot. It does not mean that their reality is hallucinogenic, but they are in tuned or attuned to something unknown to our world.
Now some will ask the question: then why would this happen to them here in our world? Why would they choose to come here knowing that this is the path they chose and it would not be a pleasant one in terms of not being able to function normally?
We learn from each other’s circumstances and experiences. We also learn by what we see or witness. Often times when a person begins to show signs of mental illness, the family gets into a panic and sends them to the psyche ward. The doctors there do not know how to understand what is happening despite all their training, and medication along with some mumbo jumbo diagnosis is prescribed.
What is happening in the mind of the “troubled” person is he or she is there, they hear them selves inside shouting, “help me I am in here, I have not left!” but what they say or do outwardly says something else as we observe it, and so they are medicated, which eventually quells the inside voice screaming for help and shuts them down. Thus the medication does more harm than good.
They are here to teach us, if only we understand their message.
In a book written by the Shaman Malidoma Some (hate this term shaman) referenced in the article below, called The Healing Wisdom of Africa, during his first initiation, Some (So-may) was instructed by the elders to sit before a tree and see it’s communications and motions,. At first it was tiresome for this young boy, who could not move from where he was until he could tell the elders correctly what he saw. He at first lied to them, just to be able to stop, but they knew he lied and punished him for it. After a while, however, he finally saw something. He saw the tree as a lady who (if I remember the book correctly) even spoke to him, and he ended up dancing with it.
Again his reality became clear later after hours of sitting before the tree, hot and exhausted, deprived of water and food, under this stress and suffering, his (spiritual) eyes and ears opened up. The cynic would say that he hallucinated because of the extreme condition he was under, but are they correct? I do not agree.
Does this explain why trauma or traumatic situations brings about an awakening or misdiagnosed madness? It did in my case (although I was not diagnosed mad, thank God) and it was a hard journey.
There was a story one of my workers told me long ago when I had my beauty shop. She said her sister in Jamaica, while she lived there began showing signs of mental illness. However the mother (who I commend) refused to take her to Bellevue Hospital (which is a psychiatric hospital in Jamaica). Instead, the mother began to work the girl and instructed all the family who lived in the yard to work her by sending her to the shop twenty times or more for the day. If she came back with the wrong change, she would have to go back and bring the correct change, they made her wash, clean, iron and even cook. I asked the girl why did the mother do these things to the girl, who thankfully came back to her senses and is now functioning well, and she told me that the mother said that doing this will bring or force her back into focus, force her mind which had gone astray to come back. The sister told me that the mother said, “she will over exhaust herself working, but she will come back to herself.” The mother gave her lots of iron vitamins (and trust me iron is needed when you are engaging with spirits daily who saps your energy), and fed her well while watching her eat.
Hers may have been stress related or she was one who was waking up to her true self, but what I know for sure, is that although somethings are traumatic to the mind, the trauma affects each person who experiences it differently, and often times trauma, mental trauma leads one to an awakening.
I had no physical help during my awakening. I worried for my children were my enemy to be placed in a straight jacked and carted off to Bellevue lol (in mi Brazilian hair, mink coat and heels). While my awakening occurred, I felt as if I was at a bottom of a well, cold and scared with no way out. I cried everyday wanting to be “normal” again. I wanted a hug, up to today, I love to hug people (they may just need it, like I did back then and never got it). Why was God doing this to me? I wanted a hug, I wanted my mother, I was frightened (the memory is very hard). Yet I went through it for three years, and here I am brand new, and in my right mind? Hmmmm (taps finger against my jaw, while eye raised to the ceiling looking quizzically lol), in my “renewed mind” sharp, fit and spiritually aware, blinders off and here to share that painful experience with you. Do not go through it alone, remember I am here with you!
I love you all
Thank you Ebony!
Ẹni a fẹ́ la mọ̀, a ò mọ ẹni tó fẹ́’ni. /
You do know who you love; but you can’t be certain of who really loves you……Yoruba Proverb!
[Be perceptive; appearance is not all there is]
Everything comes when it must, and everything happens for a reason, do not hurry your life, what is destined for you, cannot escape you, just keep the faith, be patient and be prayerful, filled with compassion, kindness and respect for all, let these qualities be among your name, God will fill in the rest…..Obara Meji!
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love….Obara Meji
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji