June 5, 2011 Obara Meji 201Comment

 

This is a touching story sent in by anonymous, as a follow up on the post titled Family Disconnection. I have shared my story and I know that there are many out there that have gone through similar experiences like mine and anonymous. Nothing happens without a reason let us solve the questions that has been plaguing our minds from ever since by discussing this taboo subject. Let us remove the shame and horror of  the family disconnection and find comfort in each others words of wisdom.

Upon reading Obara’s story “ Family Disconnection,” it compelled me to tackle this subject matter from another poignant vantage point. I want to discuss family connections instead and how these relationships facilitate our transition back to the God Head.
From time to time in my adult years since migrating to America I’d often hear the Yankees (African Americans) say

“God looks out for fools and babies.” One day upon hearing the saying, I immediately applied it to my life.

During my thirty years on this earth, I have been a force with which to reckon. I am the fourth of six children born to an illiterate but entrepreneurial woman. I was raised as a ward of the state due to circumstances beyond my control until I was 18 years old.

I wasn’t raised by my parents per se. I was raised by my paternal Grandfather, who was fiercely protective of me.He cherished me and saw to it that my every need was taken care of since my mom and dad were elsewhere doing who knows what. Life as I knew it was  turned upside down when I was 10 years old. I was taken to America by my dad via marriage to woman  who I knew little of. I was excited to be in America. Everything was new and shiny like a new dime! The air was different the energy was different, it felt as if I had set foot into a new dimension (in essence I did). I
was to experience brutality and hate in the most traumatic of ways by the hand of a step and step mother and step sister who had the personification of evil imprinted on their DNA.
My younger brother and I were subjected to vicious beatings with whatever blunt object was in sight. We weren’t allowed to enter her immaculate  white living room complete with the plastic covered white couches and white rugs. On one occasion the washing machine had overflowed and we poor children from Jamaica didn’t know how to  operate a doggone washing machine definitely didn’t know how to stop it. Needless to say the evil step sister grabbed a metal pail and rhythmically pound our heads until our blood were mixed with suds. The coup de gras was when she beat me to a pulp in the face with an orange industrial grade extension cord. She sent me to school the following day with my brother as my guide. The teachers were horrified by the damage done to my face. Consequently they ushered me into the Principal’s officers where police officers were waiting to take my whisk me off to foster care. I was blinded in the eyes for three weeks.

I went back to live with my Grandfather in Jamaica after spending a few months in the country with my mother. My pregnant mother at the time resided in a small crawlspace along with my teen aged brother and my pregnant adult sister and her small son. It was obvious that my mother was in no position to graciously accept two more mouths to feed. I went through the issues of being rejected by mother because ,“yuh favor yuh puppa” I was told by my older sister to “go sell yuh pussy!” when I asked her for food. The sensible decision was made and my Grandfather (Mojubar)——-(mojubar here means to honor him as a dearly departed soul) came and brought me to Kingston where I did what was expected of me which was to excel in school. However, there is a wild streak in me a free solitary spirit that likes to take jaunts into a myriad of places. My Grandfather getting up in age  and didn’t want his baby girl to end up a statistic decided to put me in a home for girls that was located in New Kingston. I was taken from class and was brought to the office and ceremoniously presented to a waiting social worker. The social worker explained to me that I was to be taken to a place and blah blah blah fucking blah! Once again  and surely not the last time II felt the claws of rejection raking their iron monger’s mallet hot claws into my brain. I had no choice, I went. I went through the motions, grew older, educated and angry. My Grandfather passed away. My existence’s tectonic plates shifted and a void was created.My protector was gone. Unbelievable though I was okay! I never went hungry! I was decently clothed, I went to one of the best high schools in Jamaica. I had an Aunt who came from out of nowhere. I knew of her existence but not her. She found me when I thought I was alone. My older brother was living with her in Portmore and she would take me to their home on weekends and holidays. Things were good!
My Aunt passed away two years after finding me. I was once again rocked with a wave of sadness. Nevertheless with my fortuitous spirit I soldered on. I went on to college and my brother was there looking out for me while I was still in the group home. All this time my mother knew where I was but did not contact me. I wondered why? I became resentful and that solidified my resolve to be even more self reliant. I was and still am akin to a planet floating off by itself only reconnecting when it wants to. As my spirituality and sense of self grows, I realize that what I went through was predestined. God looks out for fools and babies! I became aware that I chose my parents and that I was always protected. I’ve always had someone come to my rescue. my Grandfather (Mojubar) Ogun the keeper of justice and truth! My aunt I now believe embodied Oya (orisha who rules the wind) because she was a whirlwind and smoked her craven a’s backward…(Mojubar).
When I came back to America, when I was able to focus not on surviving, but living, I was able to process the psychology behind my motivations and choices in life. I recognized that when my parents left me by the wayside, it was Divine order that was in play. I have also learned that we cannot blame our parents all our lives for the fuck ups or shortcomings that have come into ours. I refuse to let my pain become my albatross! I will let the Universe catch my tears and make sweet rain to Osun and Yemoja bosom, and I have realized that we all have our PATH to follow! You see, we are equipped with an internal compass sufficient  to guide you. Then,you have the Egun and the Orisas to guide you, if you take it to them. Olodumare did not leave us here helpless! The Universe always sends or gives you a hand it is up to us to recognize and move with it! But if we aren’t taught how to then we as a people are doomed for failure. I am blessed to be able to see my path illuminated and walking in it proudly!

We are able to manifest such greatness only if we learn the secret songs of the universe. The song that plays its melodies in the platelets of blood coursing through our veins. We are all part of one great ENERGY! It is therefore the will of the Creator that we complete the circle, and an exemplary one we must in order to be return in favor at the door step of our maker. I hold no grudges! I speak love and life in all situations because that is the answer to most things that ails! Iwa Pele (Iwa Pele is your character) is the order of the day!  Being good and doing the right thing is hard  (when you have been kicked down) but rewarding work. I can say that the step mother who did me wrong had and is receiving recompense in ways I will not divulge in this forum. Some people use the hurts and “mommy did this” and “daddy did that” as excuses to continue to perpetuate destructive lifestyles! Some folks have never met their parents! Ponder that…..I always have to look at the glass as half full.In the larger scope of things, Someplace, somewhere, in continum some being might be having a harder time at life than you are. Find God in EVERYTHING  Every SITUATION and EVERYONE! It will make the connection to the God Head much more meaningful because we are not here for our parents. God is THE PARENT! We live on vast realms beyond our vantage point! We shouldn’t be existing not for this moment, but for the furtherance of good character and gaining wisdom.


It is the habit that a child forms at home, that follows them to their marriage….Yoruba Proverb.

 
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201 Comments on "THE ORPHAN ARCHETYPE/ FAMILY DISCONNECTION RE-VISITED!!!"

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teetee
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okay

teetee
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thankz you obara i would love to tell you one day my life story……

teetee
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i have been throu so much things in my life and i never once blame my mom for anything. i am on only child i never had on father around i never had on mom daughter relationship with my mom i was always move from one home to next.i was always treated like i was nothing my mom send money wenever she can my mom always had on excuse for why i have to live with other ppl i never had on home that i could call my own. i think that if my mom wanted better for her self she could have something thing in america to show my mom have the same duty ways that she have from jamaica and i dnt think she will eva change.tru everything that i wen thru am happy that i did wen thru it cuz it made me a stronger person even thro sometime i feel like giving up something thing alway stay to me just hold on a lil longer…..there is so somethings that i want to stay but ill leave it for a next time.

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

no sah…i are deading…me sorry…me did inna deh bleachers wid some yankee pitney a drink gin and a bun some rae…and wanna dem start seh she naw go a rehab…me ask her if a she name amy winehouse….anyway anonymous…i am touched by your story….my mother did tell me say she grow up bad some type of way…me granny have bout 12 a dem and dem seh me granny love de lightskin one dem more….dem use to call me mother blackie…one time she all drop unda de housetop and no body never know whe she deh fi one long time…overnight…dem tings mek me waan bawl…me a one a dem people when me watch t.v. and me see injustice me bawl…ahhh Chango…me mother use to do it and me used to laugh after her…and now me come big me do it too and me caan help meself…and me ketch me daughter a laugh after ME…but i a wait fi she get big because i gwine laugh after she…stay deh…and den it seem like seh…dem ting de pass down cause me aunty have two son…one blacklike midnight…one brown…and when she have the black one she tell the brown say….tell da black bwoy deh..so and so…color no come inna me love fi me kids…no…and me try fi gow dem wid love because me waan dem fi love and care fi dem own…like my mother did for me…me daughter tell me say her grandmother very loving…and me rate me good good mother and dem story make me treasure her even more…

Maniac
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Maniac

Lol Mi naw sey nutten caw mi nuh able…..

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

mi pa a look yuh teecha! woieee…. (nuh nyam di parridge)

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

Teacher duh please mi a beg yuh nuh beat mi! Yes a Splendid a mi Pa!!!!A wah!!(eena Delcita voiz) Wi born di sed day of di sed mont….emen doe a pi pa mi nah drink him parridge nor hoxstail!!

Maniac
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Maniac

Woieeee, u see u Orisa….betta tell teecha sey ah Splendid a u pa – u wii get whey!!!

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

maniac yuh fawt when teacha come back! mi ago tell…cause yuh nuh gi mi nun a yuh veggie bulla

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

lmfaoooooooooo di two teet principal weh squeeze up di grade 7 girl dem ches when dem dus start bust breas …mi hear seh him and bullfrog Sofia related…..nasty pervert him and the P.E. teacha! Yuh betta behave yuhself!

Teacher Teacher Teacher! Yuh see Maniac a bodder mi! She a call mi suck finger jack@

Maniac
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Maniac

OrisaPikkney mi nah lie u bitta bad…..cudden tell di laws time mi laaf soh

Eeh eeh wach di one Orisa ah try bribe teecha afta shi mek mi go pick up di blackie an mek di cowitch kech mi…. juss wait man mi agoh save up mi lunch money an buy some lobsta an East Indian mango fi teecha….. cawsen sey mi nuh waan 2 teet principal come try kiss mi wen teecha sen mi goh him hoffice….Awoe

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

Teacher! Teacher! Teacher! Mi fadda bring some sweet blackie mangoes and sum craw fish and him sed to give it to you!……

Adassa Oye deh! lol cow itch ketch yuh to rasss……

Maniac
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Maniac

Kaka raw ah how teecha noe whey wi up to? Teecha it wasnt me…

Maniac
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Maniac

Orisapikkneyyyyyy mi sey ah grung mi deh, mi belly helpppppp mi need some wawta… all yeye wata to rawtid……Helpppp’

Mek mi ketch mi bret

Ah woo u ah call dry foot adassa

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

Ohhh Lawwwd yuh see weh yuh do Maniac! Teacher Teacher Teacher! I was a good likkle girl yuh ear?

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

Yea man mi nah miss da one yah! who have di tready fi go play chinese skip?

Maniac
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Maniac

Orisapikkney yuh ah come to? Rope een man

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

Yes mek wi go stone di tree and try ketch sum cray fish…..dry foot adassa yuh fi learn fi walk wid lotion….a wah duh yuh lol

Maniac
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Maniac

Bye teecha
Sharlene whey yuh deh? Teacha gone wi can go stone di blackie mango tree an go dung ah riva, u hab loshan caw wi affi mek sure sey wen shi come back shi nuh noe enuh an di dry foot dem ah sure tell tale sign sey wi di deh ah riva

Maniac
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Maniac

Morning Orisapikkney
GOOD MORNING teecha

OrisaPikkney
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OrisaPikkney

lol good morning ladies!

Maniac
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Maniac

Mawning Sharlene
Teecha nuh reach yet at all…..mek wi kip wi bakside kwiat till shi come yah….nuh waan mi name reech 2 teet Principal Davis

sharlenerose
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sharlenerose

i was reading this post yesterday and i was drawn away by a battle i had to fight….i want to apologize to one and all because i wanted to be a part of this discussion….i hope nobody minds if i join in now and comment on things i wasn’t here to say…oh my dear manners….morning all….@ maniac…whe u deh….sits on chair…pushes it in…this first period look it a go last a minute judging by….winks….a whe de teacher deh

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

mi mean fi seh a *nuh mi at all lol

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

April 3rd 5 years apart…. good day dat……lol A Splendid and reptile sofia a mi a tallObara lol

Orisapikkney
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Orisapikkney

im back but wait a April 3rd mi bawn to eno

nubizness
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nubizness

but who pays for a granny whore? how much money ole P@#%# makes?

nubizness
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nubizness

nuh di bat cave dhat?

Maniac
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Maniac

Splendidddddddd mi heartbeat ah Aries ooooooo…. Whey u sey Splendid?

nubizness
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nubizness

hence granny wearing di blonde wig… a long time street walker…

nubizness
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nubizness

Maniac yuh present mum…yu nuh ear wha Splendid seh bout him puff daddy granny?

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi granny was a whore from long time

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

ah trouble yu wan start giftgood

giftofgoodlife
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giftofgoodlife

Splendid is a real comedian! What type of rae rae hip hop granny that sofia lover bwoy….

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

april mi is ah aries

Maniac
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Maniac

Splendidddd ah Aktoba u bawn???

nubizness
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nubizness

wait Obara nuh one ah yuh post dat if not its a good one….Splendid send Obara the tory….caaw I want fi know how dhat go.

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi name hopeton mario lewis mi bawn april 3 1975

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

OBEAH WEDDING mi meet Sofia pon a friday next ting mi know mi wake up inna ah church inna tuxedo and sofia inna one white frock and dem tell i seh we married mi neva sign nutten are memba nuttin

Maniac
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Maniac

PRESENT!!!! PRESENT to rawse mi deh yah ooooo

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

well mi madda name i hopeton and mi have mi fadda last name so mi nuh know

nubizness
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nubizness

Looks like Splendid love fat bullfrog bleach out ooman.

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi nuh bout dat but di whole part ah ar bleacj out she fayva vybz kartel

nubizness
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nubizness

Lawdddddd! no sah a joke Splendid mi a drop a grunge….Hopeton tatoo pon har left wrist…so di hand bleach out?

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

Sofia ave a tatoo of mi name pon ar left wrist it say Hopeton 1975 she black but she bleach out and she wear false eye lashe and she big and tall

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

Obara you seh bullfrog looking gwall mi say Sofia is a actual bullfrog

nubizness
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nubizness

ah true Obara we need summin weh gwan stand out…..caaw mi a tink bout 5 shops weh di gyal dem favor bullfrog.

nubizness
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nubizness

DWL….DWL….DWL…..DWL…no sah! Weh Maniac deh mon?

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

go pon whiteplains road and look fi ah bullfrog inna one shop a do hair when you it you will nu seh ah sofia dat

nubizness
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nubizness

lol

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi hear seh she deh inna some shop pon 214 wid some african gwal

nubizness
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nubizness

So Splendid ah which shop pon white plains road Sofia deh so mi nuh go indeh?

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

who no mi granny fraid a church everytime she walk pass ah church all part ah ar start smoke up no mon mi granny neva even see one bible

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

No mon dont compare to da idiot deh LA Lewis

nubizness
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nubizness

Rawtid ah true?

nubizness
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nubizness

Obara I was gonna say that…….lawd dwl

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

Obara not fi fasety but you married becaw mi like yu and mi is looking fi ah new miss Lewis

nubizness
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nubizness

Yuh sure yuh granny a real ooman? mine ah yuh grandpappy

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi granny did wear di blond hair

Mr Splendid
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Mr Splendid

mi granny drink rum inna di morning and smoke ar cigarette dem and cuss bare bad wud from mawning till night

nubizness
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nubizness

Wait diddy mumma a Splendid ole shitty batty granny?

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