When I attended the revival churches after my first initiation read this, all the happenings there were new to me and quite funny actually. I love to laugh and so even though I was in church, I found all the jumping and the shouting and the dancing and prancing around funny as hell and would often times laugh while holding my bible up to my face, while praying and hoping that God did not strike me down for laughing at his worshipers, but deep down in my mind I suspected that God held the joke with me, however I am convinced that God has a sense of humor. I hope so. I was sent to these churches by spirits who were my teachers during my initiation, they wanted me, a new initiate, a newly awakened person to be apart of a spiritual house and all the energy that came with it, it was all for preparation for another journey in my life which was to be Africa.
While I attended these churches, I was happy at first, for the most part. My life had began again , it was another chapter which had been opened of the book that were my life and I was curious to see where the pages led as I was lead actor without a script. At that time of my life I was led to church, dragged back there and after a while, I remembered that the night before I left Jamaica as a small girl, I had knelt by my bed and prayed to God and asked that he allow me to go out and explore, as I was going to America and I knew not what was waiting there for me. I told God that I did not even know if there were churches in America and if he could just be patient with me, I would find my way back to him some how. After my first initiation and I was directed to go and be apart of the revival church, I realized after a while that this was done partly to fulfill the promise of the prayer I made to God, and from there I would find the same God, who I believed at the time I could only find in church, in Africa among tradition.
I loved the spiritual church, it was filled with high vibes and good energies. They did not love me, at least that is what I believed, lol. There was something about me and these mostly older church people that did not mesh together. I began attending these churches coming from being an hairdresser, so it was required that your head be wrapped (turbaned) when attending these churches and I had to find a way to wrap my hair and still look cute (smile), so I would buy three yards of African Material and wrap my head to form a high beautiful crown, I would still wear my make up and my long drop earrings or hoops, my nose was pierced, (I was also coming from the dance hall world, and the wicked baby father was a drug dealer) and I had the jeweler make a diamond encrusted nose ring for me with a cross all made out of diamonds which hung off my nose and glittered at every turn, (mi hot like ten fire stick). My clothes was form fitting but not too short and I wore heels wonderful perfumes and expensive bracelets and any color lipsticks I cared to wear, in my mind I thought the bible said “rend your heart and not your garment” Joel 2:13.
My dress were constant discussions for these bunch of plate wearing (dentures) wearing old bags in the church, (those were my thoughts then) and what made matters worse I was made Leadress of the church the minute I joined, the Bishop saw fit, thought me talented enough to give me that position. A leadress of a spiritual church had to have great spiritual power, she had to be able to discern any problems spiritually with the members or visitors of the church or if the Church was under any spiritual attack, (yes other churches would fling obeah to different churches including ours, lol) from any outside or inside persons she had to be able to see it and clear it all out, so she was no ordinary person, and I surely was not. This position which the Bishop gave to me, sparked a lot of jealousy from the members with me and many of them could not hide their disdain. Their disdain, while everybody in the church married or otherwise, from pastors to deacon to evangelists were screwing each other, the place was a bag of confusion and filled with hypocrites who preached the WORD! I am not attacking the Church or Church people, just recounting my experience with them.
The purpose of today’s post is to discuss or reinforce the importance of goodness, of being kind and loving, striving to being the best person you can be. I made reference to the Church I attended because they made an issue of me because of how I carried myself, regardless of what I brought to the church and who I was, my character of being nice and kind and fun loving, the fact that I was serving the Lord and had left dance hall (physically, because in my head Beenie man and Ninja man did ah kick up rumpus, not to mention Lady Saw and Tenor Saw and Supa Cat) did not matter to these people who were there to be Christ like and who preached and shouted about love. I was too well dressed for them and so they preached on me when they held the mic, throwing words at me at every turn, and they were staggered at my refusal to leave their church or change to suit them. I paid them no mind, I was not intimidated by them, I showed them love and care and I smiled with them at all times and I even felt sad for them, and after a while I could not stand them. Not hate, no never that, but I became ashamed of these people who preached everyday, who called themselves representing the benevolent Christ and how they really were as human beings, very unkind, church hat, turban, Bible and all. When I eventually left the church, I sighed with relief and I thanked God, because it was God who took me out, lololol!!
All in all I had fun there if not for anything, and I learned a lot from them in way of ancestors worship even though they, most of them did not even know what the hell they were doing, it was a case of monkey see monkey do, and when they brought down the spirits most people did not know how to entertain them, so when some some people became possessed with high energy strong spirits they were mistaken for “duppy”, which sparked fear and so they all began to drive away what they invoked accidentally, lmaoooooooooo! Some churches not all, some churches had some real strong people who knew Zion very well and knew how properly to entertain 60 and 61 spirits. I miss them at times, the energy not de people dem.
I am not perfect, no one is, however it is possible to strive for perfection in ways of benevolence. Kenny Rogers said it best in his song Coward of The Country “It don’t mean you’re weak, If you turn the other cheek, walk away from trouble if you can”. Being unkind or eliciting or inciting fights and quarrels is never ok. Never be apart of anything to put another person down to lower their self esteem or to humiliate anyone or tell tales, spread rumors, attach unkind names to persons or just being down right mean. It feels so good to be good. It feels so good to assist and help, it is such a wonderful feeling to give good advice or just to hug someone, pull them into your embrace and hold them warmly there, (nothing sexual, just all goodness) allowing them to feel the beat of your heart and the warmth from your person and feel that you care and love them, no matter who they are. Sometimes it takes just that to make someone reconsider the noose they had plan to string up later that evening or flush the bottle of pills they had plan to take.
Bullying another through social media, text, email, in person, otherwise should never be, and persons have to rethink these actions of being a bad human being. I may sound a little naive in all these which I am writing but is it really hard for us to consider changing how we treat each other or to reconsider our actions and to pull our selves by our boot straps so to speak and renew ourselves for the betterment of mankind? For the betterment of us! I went to church to serve the Lord and fellowship with my brethrens and yet they all rejected me with how they treated me, all because of how I looked and probably for other reasons, I have no idea, the arm of flesh shall fail you, you dare not trust even your own. I thought I would find love in the church instead I found the mythical Devil (s), but I learned from them, how not to be, and for that I cannot regret my experience, plus the comedic memories are a treasure, I even laughed at myself there, begging God everyday not to let any of my fellow Stone Love goers from the past spot me wearing a turban or catch me jumping Poco, lol. Vanity is a sin!
I woke up this morning thinking of how mean people can be. I sat in front of the computer and wondered about what to write and then I began typing and all these came out, so I believe that this may be a message from somewhere. Walk the correct road, try, try, try to be the best person you can be, say a kind word to a stranger or to a friend , I have written posts like these before but somethings bears repeating and this message is one.
Yíyọ́ ẹkùn, kì í ṣe t’ojo. /
The stealthy movement of the leopard is not out of cowardice….. Yoruba Proverb
[Do not mistake gentleness for stupidity or cowardice]
All religion all valid as long as it teaches peace and love…Obara Meji!