My second child is a boy, a very handsome, loving son. I have written about him on this site before, but I cannot remember the title of the post. I want to share somethings about him and I while he was young and growing up, and this is due to the video below which I urge you all to watch and pay attention.
First let me tell you a little about me as a parent. As you all know I have two baby daddy or sperm donors (useless bums is the more accurate term, but I will not go there today, lol) because they were not real fathers at all, one for the first girl, my first born , read here, and the others for the (useless puppa number 2) wicked baby father, read here. None of these men were in their children’s lives as they grew and even till now in present time.
As a parent I grew my children with love, lots of love. I guess I wanted to fill the void of them having no father and and also me having no family or family support. I think it worked, because not one of them have ever displayed ” I miss daddy syndrome”. They are all functional human beings and I am very proud of all of them.
They say fisher man never says his fish is stink, but I would be one to share if there was any kind of problem or dis-function of any kind with them, I am that open, this is just who I am. I always listened to my children, never shunning or shrugging them off or having no time for them if they needed to say anything to me. I encouraged them to be themselves and I never forced them to do anything they did not want to do. I was very mindful to the psychological aspect of their lives, their emotional well being as well as their physical well being.
I did it all by myself with the help of God and my non-physicals beings. My son was the first for the wicked baby father and the second child for me, and while growing up he had some problems in school with learning. No, he did not have a learning disability, nor any mental disorder, he simply did not like school, he wanted to be home and play more than anything else. Books and a school setting did not interest at all.
I, as his mother knew this, but the school tried to force me into placing him in the Special Education program. I said no, hell no. Bad enough this boy did not have a father, I should now give him this stigma to carry around with him for life? No, I was not about to do that, especially when I knew he did not need it. He simply learned differently, and I was about to find out from him, what would assist him, I paid attention and I listened.
I was his only parent so I had to make that decision on my own and I stood up to the school and all the pressure they tried to put on me. I hired tutors for the boy, send him to extra lessons and more. The school asked me to have a school psychologist evaluate him, I allowed it, nothing was wrong with the boy according the the little short Jewish man who did the evaluation who seemed nervous while talking to me, but he needed an extra boost in his school work, so they strongly advised me placing him in their program, there was no diagnosis, and I did not expect any.
They tried to sell it (Special Education program) to me like a tourist package, telling me that it was a small class room setting, he would get more attention from the teachers and yawdy,yawdy, yaw!
I did not buy it, I was not a stupid woman, I cared and I had the strength of God and my ancestors behind me. They would not rail road me into doing what I did not want for my child!
I prayed morning and night about this, hoping that this did not make the boy, mean while my boy was a bright functioning student at home. I began to notice his interest in cartoons, and that he loved to read spider man, and all the Marvel comic book. His interest was in those kind of things. So I bought them in droves and upped his reading skills by allowing him to read as much comic books as he wanted. Then he told me he wanted Poke man cards, which had the descriptions of each Poke man character on them, the cards were ten dollars per pack, I bought them all. He remained in general Ed classes, after all where would he go?, I was not giving up. When the wicked father was around, my son attended catholic school. After he ran away from his children, I could not afford to keep it up and so public school had to do.
While the school saw some improvement in his work, this was due to the comic books, myself and expensive tutors who would come to the home, they still pressured me for the program, I still refused. I thought about the Sylvan learning center, and this is the only time I called the wicked father for help with paying for the tutoring there. I asked him to pay half the fee while I would shoulder the rest, he never gave a cent to any of the children needs, so I thought this he might consider helping me with this since I have never even taken him to child support court, or asked him for anything.
He agreed, but never hid from the phone calls after that, so I shouldered it all on my own. I eventually took my son and paid out of pocket to the Kennedy Child learning center for evaluation myself, instead of the school psychologist evaluating him again. It took all day (it seemed like that to me, the wait was very long while the did their evaluation) and the report was that he had “mixed expressive receptive learn disorder”.
This made no sense to me, I knew my son, and this made no sense, the boy was brilliant in speech/communication and he understood everything!
I contacted Advocate for children, (they are very good, at least to my experience). I was fighting the New York school system and I knew I needed extra help. I had all my papers, all the evidence of the tutors, Sylvan learning centers, and also the Kennedy Child center which I paid for the evaluation out of my own pocket. My child would not be placed into special education!!! Not on my watch!
I spoke to someone there and told them all that I have been going through with the schools and all that I did in support of my son, they asked me for the documents I had and I sent them. By now I was to have an hearing which they would try to force me to place my son in the program or they would send child protective services to me and try to remove my (enemy, I say my enemy, because this is a negative statement, remember word, sound power) child from the home.
Advocates for children assigned a lawyer to me, a white man who did not seem to care much, but trust me, he was the best, he probably was just tired or this was his personality which seemed nonchalant, because he fought so hard for us, I hail him wherever he is today. By this time ( when the hearing was drawing near) I had stopped the boy from going to school while awaiting the hearing so they (the school) opened up an ACS case for me, and sent one of their workers to my home. This was an invasion to me, but I complied and let them into the house to look around and into my cupboards and in the bedrooms to make sure the living environment was good and clean, it was.
In the end, the hearing took place and the haggard looking lawyer went in, harmed with all the documents I supplied him with and his own argument, the ACS case was dropped and the school disappointed in not getting their way to place MY child into special education. OOnuh clap mi!
I shortened the story of the fight with me and the school and their agenda because it would have been too long, but you all understand with what I have written the struggle I went through to protect my son, especially as a single mom!
Now my son is a bright young man (wid tuh much ooman) working hard and trying to establish his own business, he is almost there. He has a very good job with a prestigious company and I could not be more proud. Talent landed him the position that he is in,and one day you all will hear hisname and know him, he is doing wonderfully. At times, in the past when he would get out of line with me, facety as a matter of fact,I would shake my head, in memory of how hard I fought for him. He is Irete Ogunda, a child of Ogun and I love him and the others very much
Eevn though the post is on which tells of my fight for my son against the New York school system, it also tells the story of never giving up, trusting your head and fighting for what you believe in. I was alone, no physical support from anyone, and with small children to care for. Love for my children and the strength of thought of never giving up, for battling anyone who dared me and my children gave me the drive to do all that I had and needed to do, and I won.
It is my story and it is yours also, never give up, you must fight!
I just love Dr. Umar Johnson please all of you continue to pray his strength up, when I see him, I hear the words “A star is born”…….. watch the video below.
Àrẹ̀mọ má jobì, má ròde ẹmu, kó lè dé ipò bàbá rẹ̀ ni. /
That a heir should desist from riotous living, it’s so he can succeed his father…….Obara Meji
[It is good wisdom to be open and take to good counsels; ultimately a good counsel is for the benefit of the one advised.]
Everything comes when it must, and everything happens for a reason, do not hurry your life, what is destined for you, cannot escape you, just keep the faith, be patient and be prayerful, filled with compassion, kindness and respect for all, let these qualities be among your name, God will fill in the rest…..Obara Meji!
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love….Obara Meji
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji