My second child is a boy, a very handsome, loving son. I have written about him on this site before, but I cannot remember the title of the post. I want to share somethings about him and I while he was young and growing up, and this is due to the video below which I urge you all to watch and pay attention.
First let me tell you a little about me as a parent. As you all know I have two baby daddy or sperm donors (useless bums is the more accurate term, but I will not go there today, lol) because they were not real fathers at all, one for the first girl, my first born , read here, and the others for the (useless puppa number 2) wicked baby father, read here. None of these men were in their children’s lives as they grew and even till now in present time.
As a parent I grew my children with love, lots of love. I guess I wanted to fill the void of them having no father and and also me having no family or family support. I think it worked, because not one of them have ever displayed ” I miss daddy syndrome”. They are all functional human beings and I am very proud of all of them.
They say fisher man never says his fish is stink, but I would be one to share if there was any kind of problem or dis-function of any kind with them, I am that open, this is just who I am. I always listened to my children, never shunning or shrugging them off or having no time for them if they needed to say anything to me. I encouraged them to be themselves and I never forced them to do anything they did not want to do. I was very mindful to the psychological aspect of their lives, their emotional well being as well as their physical well being.
I did it all by myself with the help of God and my non-physicals beings. My son was the first for the wicked baby father and the second child for me, and while growing up he had some problems in school with learning. No, he did not have a learning disability, nor any mental disorder, he simply did not like school, he wanted to be home and play more than anything else. Books and a school setting did not interest at all.
I, as his mother knew this, but the school tried to force me into placing him in the Special Education program. I said no, hell no. Bad enough this boy did not have a father, I should now give him this stigma to carry around with him for life? No, I was not about to do that, especially when I knew he did not need it. He simply learned differently, and I was about to find out from him, what would assist him, I paid attention and I listened.
I was his only parent so I had to make that decision on my own and I stood up to the school and all the pressure they tried to put on me. I hired tutors for the boy, send him to extra lessons and more. The school asked me to have a school psychologist evaluate him, I allowed it, nothing was wrong with the boy according the the little short Jewish man who did the evaluation who seemed nervous while talking to me, but he needed an extra boost in his school work, so they strongly advised me placing him in their program, there was no diagnosis, and I did not expect any.
They tried to sell it (Special Education program) to me like a tourist package, telling me that it was a small class room setting, he would get more attention from the teachers and yawdy,yawdy, yaw!
I did not buy it, I was not a stupid woman, I cared and I had the strength of God and my ancestors behind me. They would not rail road me into doing what I did not want for my child!
I prayed morning and night about this, hoping that this did not make the boy, mean while my boy was a bright functioning student at home. I began to notice his interest in cartoons, and that he loved to read spider man, and all the Marvel comic book. His interest was in those kind of things. So I bought them in droves and upped his reading skills by allowing him to read as much comic books as he wanted. Then he told me he wanted Poke man cards, which had the descriptions of each Poke man character on them, the cards were ten dollars per pack, I bought them all. He remained in general Ed classes, after all where would he go?, I was not giving up. When the wicked father was around, my son attended catholic school. After he ran away from his children, I could not afford to keep it up and so public school had to do.
While the school saw some improvement in his work, this was due to the comic books, myself and expensive tutors who would come to the home, they still pressured me for the program, I still refused. I thought about the Sylvan learning center, and this is the only time I called the wicked father for help with paying for the tutoring there. I asked him to pay half the fee while I would shoulder the rest, he never gave a cent to any of the children needs, so I thought this he might consider helping me with this since I have never even taken him to child support court, or asked him for anything.
He agreed, but never hid from the phone calls after that, so I shouldered it all on my own. I eventually took my son and paid out of pocket to the Kennedy Child learning center for evaluation myself, instead of the school psychologist evaluating him again. It took all day (it seemed like that to me, the wait was very long while the did their evaluation) and the report was that he had “mixed expressive receptive learn disorder”.
This made no sense to me, I knew my son, and this made no sense, the boy was brilliant in speech/communication and he understood everything!
I contacted Advocate for children, (they are very good, at least to my experience). I was fighting the New York school system and I knew I needed extra help. I had all my papers, all the evidence of the tutors, Sylvan learning centers, and also the Kennedy Child center which I paid for the evaluation out of my own pocket. My child would not be placed into special education!!! Not on my watch!
I spoke to someone there and told them all that I have been going through with the schools and all that I did in support of my son, they asked me for the documents I had and I sent them. By now I was to have an hearing which they would try to force me to place my son in the program or they would send child protective services to me and try to remove my (enemy, I say my enemy, because this is a negative statement, remember word, sound power) child from the home.
Advocates for children assigned a lawyer to me, a white man who did not seem to care much, but trust me, he was the best, he probably was just tired or this was his personality which seemed nonchalant, because he fought so hard for us, I hail him wherever he is today. By this time ( when the hearing was drawing near) I had stopped the boy from going to school while awaiting the hearing so they (the school) opened up an ACS case for me, and sent one of their workers to my home. This was an invasion to me, but I complied and let them into the house to look around and into my cupboards and in the bedrooms to make sure the living environment was good and clean, it was.
In the end, the hearing took place and the haggard looking lawyer went in, harmed with all the documents I supplied him with and his own argument, the ACS case was dropped and the school disappointed in not getting their way to place MY child into special education. OOnuh clap mi!
I shortened the story of the fight with me and the school and their agenda because it would have been too long, but you all understand with what I have written the struggle I went through to protect my son, especially as a single mom!
Now my son is a bright young man (wid tuh much ooman) working hard and trying to establish his own business, he is almost there. He has a very good job with a prestigious company and I could not be more proud. Talent landed him the position that he is in,and one day you all will hear hisname and know him, he is doing wonderfully. At times, in the past when he would get out of line with me, facety as a matter of fact,I would shake my head, in memory of how hard I fought for him. He is Irete Ogunda, a child of Ogun and I love him and the others very much
Eevn though the post is on which tells of my fight for my son against the New York school system, it also tells the story of never giving up, trusting your head and fighting for what you believe in. I was alone, no physical support from anyone, and with small children to care for. Love for my children and the strength of thought of never giving up, for battling anyone who dared me and my children gave me the drive to do all that I had and needed to do, and I won.
It is my story and it is yours also, never give up, you must fight!
I just love Dr. Umar Johnson please all of you continue to pray his strength up, when I see him, I hear the words “A star is born”…….. watch the video below.
Àrẹ̀mọ má jobì, má ròde ẹmu, kó lè dé ipò bàbá rẹ̀ ni. /
That a heir should desist from riotous living, it’s so he can succeed his father…….Obara Meji
[It is good wisdom to be open and take to good counsels; ultimately a good counsel is for the benefit of the one advised.]
Everything comes when it must, and everything happens for a reason, do not hurry your life, what is destined for you, cannot escape you, just keep the faith, be patient and be prayerful, filled with compassion, kindness and respect for all, let these qualities be among your name, God will fill in the rest…..Obara Meji!
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love….Obara Meji
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji
Hi obara, oh wow I went through a similar thing with my daughter as a young mum I also fought for my daughter. I had to fight for so much for her. It was hard I also had a second child to look after. In the uk you can choose weather to send your child to a mainstream school or for your child to attend a special needs school. My daughter remained in mainstream school. I also paid for tutors for my daughter. I became very close with a tutor who was also a teacher who new other teachers I… Read more »
Good morning ESers, have an awsome day!
Same to u Nunulita….
Pleasant good morning to all…
Good morning folks! I hope you all had a great weekend and all the ES mom’s had a fantastic Mother’s Day yesterday.
Happy Mother’s Day to Obara & ESP mothers! One love
While I’m still sending out warm wishes, I want to send out greetings to the women that became mothers to children whose mothers left this realm early. Again, bless all tender hearts. ASE
Ase!!!
Yes, Ty…we can’t forget the mum of Little and big M. MTH.
Happy Saturday bloggers.
ASe oooooo, Cam and Yazzy will drink from Osun fountain when the make the trip to Nigeria next year and bring forth twins, once they have a womb and still seeing miss Mary from red hills, no lie!
Obara! what a wahalla yu wish on me O? I have patience for one, not two at once O, lol
HAPPY COMMERCIAL MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOMMYS!
BUT, Happy Mother’s day to all God Bless MOMMYS- all day, everyday. Blessed mums aren’t just recognized on one day, but everyday.
Obara, the fighter Mum
Ty, the solution Mum
Toy, not missing PTA Mum
Charlotte Brown, the split justice Mum
KB, “my” one son mum
To My, “maam bring you backside here” Mum…and to all the MUMS (including names not written) who nah take NO check or “cookie cut” their children, Live long and love strong.
Ase…
ASE!!! Waving to Obara Cami, Nunu, Yazzy , KB, Ty…i know I am forgetting a lot of you beautiful bloggers and peepers. I am waving Hi to you also. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all the Mother’s here… I celebrate myself everyday. It is hard out here for a Mom… Cami and Yazzy, You will both will be mommy’s soon so I telling you Happy Mother’s Day. Putting it out in the universe.
Ase!!!
Wanna also large up Mth, mi pardie….long time we no hold a ends …..
I am so proud to be with this wonderful group of people and I say cheers to you all…
thanks Ty, will do
Childrens day is celebrated here instead of Mothers and fathers day
WHEN IS MOTHER DAY, I AM OUT OF THE LOOP SINCE IT IS NOT celebrated (just realized that I had caps on, sorry guys), anyway can somebody please tell me how to upload a video off my video camera to my windows 8 computer?, I tired doing it and it keep saying there is a problem, I am trying to upload some sacrifices done bu the Oluwo and also some interview I did with him, very informative, help!
Mother’s Day is Sunday….
Many ways to upload:
1. Use a direct connection, a wired connection with adaptor, from your video camera to the computer
2. Use a wireless connection, wifi
3. Take out the disc, chip etc that it is saved to on your camera and put it in your computer
Do a save as or make a copy on you hard drive ,…the upload to any program you want…
Happy Mothers day to all the mothers, soon to be mothers, aunties, god mothers, grandmother etc…
We celebrate you all !!!
I do think the Jcans have something right when they place kids in technical schools who do not excel in traditional schools.
I have a male cousin who when we were kids could take apart the radio into tiny pieces and put it back together again and it still work…he was brilliant with his hands. However he did not do well in traditional schools. He was placed in a technical school and he did extremely well. He is a mechanic and now own his own business…
these technical schools have led to many people getting a trade and doing well…
Night gentle people Thank you Obara Meji you have played an intergal part in my fight to save my child. It has not been an easy journey as a single parent so I thank God and every person who helped me along the way. Parents fight for your children…they are special people that chose you as their parent. I believe special ed should be discontinued. Every child learns differently and is intrigued by different subjects. Not every child likes reading or math, some are history buffs or mechicanical thinkers. Have u ever noticed that people diagnosed with ADHD or other… Read more »
Manners…big up the esp crew and non physical posse
I am glad you fought for your son Obara….he is lucky to have you….
I feel we often forget that we are all different and learn differently….we have different talents and when we are young, we are still figuring out our gifts and talents….the cookie cutter, one way lesson will not work for all kids….
I have two boys and they are two different individuals with different needs, different skills and different learning styles…
Standardized test only tell test preparation and good guessers….
I love this post… I know this all to well and the principles will even try to explain the reasoning why your child should be in special ed
Beautiful day to everyone! Obara thank you for these powerful words of encouragement today. I can truly relate to the experience of having to fight as a single parent against all the odds to protect your child knowing that giving up could never be an option! I’ve had my share of fighting to do against both the legal system and my baby fadda during a child custody battle.
Morning/Afternoon. I’m not a parent so “I don’t know” (lol while cutting my eyes), but I have and will continue to look out for children.
All that said…there are some “children” born into this world that parenting, medication or education can mold.
Good morning good people. Special education is like a place children’s spirits go to die (at best separate from them). When I was in college I got a job through a federal program to teach elementary children. The teacher and class I was assigned was special education 3rd grade. That classroom was one of the most horrible experiences I have had, as far as seeing children. There is a mixture of children with varying “issues”, some are “autistic”, some of developmental issues, others have behavioural issues, others have psychological issues, some have horrible parents and all are placed together. The… Read more »
Good morning Prof and ESP family, The more I read about your children’s fathers, the more I am convinced it was celestial intervention that kept them out of your children’s lives. They would have no doubt weakened your efforts to shower your children with love. I still believe children choose their parents, so they chose their respective fathers for good reasons. You did well Obara Meji. It is not easy being a single parent. I liked this part “little short Jewish man who did the evaluation who seemed nervous while talking to me” lol…Jewish men who are deep into Kaballah… Read more »
Caroline, why, why yuh don’t like the man, he has Ifa you know, tell me why, because I really like him
Good morning Obara and all beautiful members. Proud of you for fighting to the end of the race for your child. I too can relate, had a similar experience with my son. He started school ( Catholic School) this was considered minority private school to me at the time at the age of 2 1/2 years old because he was that smart and handsome, no help from the father despite him being super close with my son, he even named our son his first middle and last night but he was too possessive and controlling of me. I had to… Read more »
technology you say, hmmmmm, Ogun’s child like my son, hmmmmm (fingers tapping my jaw, lol)
God blessyou too LAdy Of the Nile
Where did my question go?
Good Morning All , thank you !! for your words of encouragement, I have read so much inbetween the lines of this article, your lessons are very much appreciated. I hope you will also write about how to interact with our Non-physicals too. Your courage is amazing. Keep on, Keeping On.
God bless !
I read him at age twelve and it was revealed to me that he was not bound but would be very prosperous through being an entrepreneur, the signs are already showing, he smiles when he remembers the reading, I say “screw duttie puppa, we did not need the scum bag”!
Thank you Nunu, they did not say he had any mental issues or even tried their medication BS with me, as a matter of fact, they did not understand him at all. He simply hated school and did not feel the need to be there, he wanted to be home playing Sega genesis lol
Good morning folks! Round of applause to you Obara for fighting for your son. The school tried to push that psychological ‘issues’ bull on my aunt for my cousin too, and she was determined not to put him on any medication or special classes. He graduated high school and is now getting his degree. Dr. Johnson is right, the pharm companies just want to move those pills so of course they’re gonna find reason to throw them in our community
NuNu my sis, I was praying for youtoday and thought to tell you to get wedge heels for your shoes…you will have no problems walking in those for the big job and you can wear them all day and feel comfortable.
,”my dad always says you have to parent your child according to their personality”….I love this what your dad say Courtney and I so agree
Good morning Courtney and Obara
Words of wisdom and true to the core. My mum does just that with all 4 of us.
Hey my sis Cam Cam…sending lots of love your way
I love this post this morning I can somewhat relate to this scenario because i was a child who hated school and thought it was a complete waste of my time. I always wanted to just be an artist and that is why my goal is to open a performing/fine art school. I was bored and I never had to try hard to do well,m y dad always says you have to parent your child according to thier personality. I was always big on freedom even though i was a reader and homebody once i did well im school i… Read more »