It took me a while as I walked my life here on earth (still walking) to realize what an old saying (proverb) my primary school teacher in Jamaica, Mrs. Bodden, taught me (or rather, what I would hear her repeat from time to time) when I was eight years old meant. ‘All that glitters is not gold”, she would say. Things are not always what they seem, or the attractive external appearance of something is not a reliable indication of its true nature. Even the bible says the arm of man will fail you, you dare not trust your own! I was one, who wanted to see the good in all things and everyone, my perception of life is that there is good in everyone. When I often would see people true colors come out, I was shocked and hurt for long. Hardly able to believe that I was that naive, and that I made the same mistakes over and over again, until I realized, when I became who I am, Obara Meji, that you repeat life lessons until you get the meaning, until you learn. This world has harsh realities, and when they hit, it is what some would call a wake up call, a reality check, and even so, I was/am the person to still believe that good still exist. I refuse to believe, to accept that so many of the world’s inhabitants are so bad. But it is true, most of the world’s inhabitants, are really no good. O ma se o! (such pity)
When I met the wicked baby father, I had not too long had my first child and was on my own, due to my mother, who told me to get out, because of an early pregnancy. I realised she was shamed by me, a teenager and her daughter having a child while in high school and so she turned her back and sent me out, not caring where I went or what happened to me, perhaps. The baby father, read here, with whom I wanted nothing to do with, also turned his back in way of support, his role as baby father (he never played), emotional or financial he never gave, because I wanted nothing to do with him as in relationship. I moved along, having no time to feel sorry for myself or even to resent my mother ( I loved the woman, how could I?), as a matter of fact I understood her reason and I held no grudge.
When I met the wicked baby father, read here, for a while all was well, but as we began to settle in our lives, all hell broke loose because he went outside and got another woman pregnant and she came at me for him through the medium of Obeah, bad wicked Obeah, which turned my life upside down. I laugh as I write this, because she even went on to kill another one of his women through said obeah and still she did not get the wicked baby father or the house or business she thought she would get, her destiny and my own were different but she foolishly thought she could change things so that she could live as I did, she tried and it stirred a bad wind (as she expected) but the result was that her wicked actions set me on my path and left her disappointed. Yet she caused great pain in many people’s lives, all for a man, not even a good man, but a horrible one.
I went on to meet many more bad people and some very good ones as well (the bad outweighed them all however), I know this is life, heck I teach this always, to my children and to others as well, yet still it is a shattering reality when faced with the plain fact that human beings are just no good. But I believe, after thinking about this very thoroughly, that we should not look at each other as good or bad, but rather ask ourselves upon meeting a new person, what has this person brought to my life? Should I expect good or bad from them? What lessons am I to learn from them? Is this person bringing any devastation to me or my livelihood, or will because of this person, I will acquire knowledge or some form of wisdom whether through their actions be it good or bad, and if bad will I be able to overcome it while coming out a better person or will I be bitter or resentful?
What obligation am I to fulfill with this person or they are to fulfill with me? Is this a person from my soul group, what is the message am I to receive? These are things we ought to ponder when meeting a potential spouse, friend, coworker, boss or even when we have a new child. My mother fulfilled her obligation to me, by having me and caring for me up to a certain point until she told me to go. I was the only child she turned out of her house, and I turned out to be the one who took in the others when they faced hard times for a while. She taught me how to be strong by her actions, and how to survive, and for that I thank her, she did well.
The wicked baby father and his disgusting woman taught me how to fight, how to get up and fight, spiritually, how to defend myself against attack, and how to embrace my spirituality and that obeah is real, I knew it was, but after her, I really knew it was real, I was certain. I had to learn those lessons to be who I am. It was harsh lesson and it is hard to thank them, but I must! lol. Those were some bad times, even in memory they were bad. My enemy suffered, and I had no one. My Godmother in Africa read here, who initiated me, turned around and did evil to me, all I gave her was good. It matters not how you are to people, they will be who they are and play the role they came into your life to play, some people like me, will try to see the good in all, but I ask the question now, is that relevant? Is a person’s goodness, their personality, their character relevant to the role they will play into your life? Or should you concentrate on the lessons you will learn from them whether they turn out to be good or bad? A bad person can teach you a good lesson and a so called good person can teach you a bad lesson! Judas was one of the twelve disciples, no one ever thought he would do as he did, (although there is a reason why he did it, but the bible wielding stupid pastors missed the point, pardon me, to the pastors who are not so stupid). Caesar never expected Brutus to do as he did, nor did Samson with the wicked Delilah, nor I expected Sophia Spencer to betray me while I kept loyal, read here . Such is life, but it still is a shocker when life comes at you unexpectedly, and the reality of “all that glitters is not gold” sets in. After all,bad breath cannot hide underneath tooth paste, my quote, lol. From henceforth my people, arm yourself with the expectancy that life and the people of the world are things you learn from, if you look at life this way, as lessons, or moments of teaching and learning, then you will be able to stay awake and never be blindsided by the wickedness or disappointments of man, beast or child.
A kì í dàgbà jù fún ohun tí a kò bá mọ̀. /
One is never too old to learn what one does not know…….Yoruba Proverb!
[No age limit to learning]
Everything comes when it must, and everything happens for a reason, do not hurry your life, what is destined for you, cannot escape you, just keep the faith, be patient and be prayerful, filled with compassion, kindness and respect for all, let these qualities be among your name, God will fill in the rest…..Obara Meji!
All religions are valid as long as it teaches peace and love….Obara Meji
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji