Moesha met Gavin fifteen years ago, they fell in love and immediately moved in together. Moesha had children prior to meeting Gavin, and so Gavin came into an already made family. He also had two children prior who lived with their mother in another state. Moesha loved Gavin and felt that he loved her very much. She was a very kind and loving person and so while it was hard for Gavin to settle down into a job, she did not let it bother her. Gavin would express to Moesha how bad he felt for always taking from her and not being able to give and she would always smile and hug him and told him that his day will come very soon, There were times when Gavin got little odd jobs to do and when he did get paid, the first thing he would do was send money to his children who lived with their mother and then whatever was left he would split it in half for him self and Moesha. Gavin loved to smoke and drink and he also liked to party, he had lots of friends. Moesha did not do any of those things, but she did not interfere into his lifestyle, as she believed that he was faithful and that was the key. Gavin could do what he liked, he just could not cheat. Moesha had warned him that this was her big fear, having a man who cheated, and if she ever found that to be true with him, she warned that she would leave him no questions asked!!!.
Moesha’s children grew up into that household looking at Gavin as their mothers Fourth child. He hardly worked, he was demanding, miserable, conniving, he never tried to get close to the kids, he cussed a lot at Moesha, who would curse him back, but she was determined to make her relationship to him work. I asked her why were you so determined, when you were miserable with this guy, her answer was a simple..”I settled”.
She said that they had both had physicals which had turned out great, she was healthy and so was he. She KNEW that he was not a cheater, he slept home every night, she knew where he was at all times, and so SHE SETTLED!!. Miserable, though she was, she just did not want to get up and find someone else or be by her self!!. Gavin stole from her, spoke down to her, hid his own earnings (whenever he did earn ), from her, spent NO time with her AT ALL, never took her any where, embarrassed her, scandaled her in front of friends and neighbors, her children and family.
One day Moesha woke up!!!. Just like that she woke UP!!. and decided that she DID not want Gavin any longer, she decided that he had to leave. He made her cry almost everyday, and had brought down this once thriving woman to almost nothing with his constant demand of money or just plain lying and stealing. She awoke. Gavin was shocked when Moesha finally stood up to him and told him to GET OUT!!.. he cried and begged and then he cussed her some more, the he cried again, but she stood firm. Everyone that knew of their relationship cheered Moesha on and was happy for her, that she finally stood up to the very manipulating Gavin.
Why do we meet some people? Why do we have to suffer at the hand of certain people? why do God allow us to meet them?, what is the bloody reason???….Why with some of them, emotions has to be involved?.WHY??
The love of your life turns out to be a b#$%h? HE/SHE IS GOOD IN BED, GENEROUS, JOCULAR AND SO MUCH FUN TO BE AROUND, but you just found out that he is an axe murderer?, or a rapist or a serial killer, or just a damn plain no good son or daughter of a b$#%h. We cry and ask the question Why?
We all have had our destinies laid out for us before we came to earth, whatever the reason why we go through some things and meet some horrible people, is written out in our life plan. Everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason and most often if not ALL, it is to TEACH us something for our evolution to our next stage of life. A bad relationship can teach us (if we survive it), what to avoid in our next one. If it is not survived it teaches others, the signs of what to look for and avoid. Often times you meet someone and you get involved but you find out later that you are not compatible, it might have been that you were intended to be together but for a little while to save each other from some destruction….. and so on. re-visit our TORMENTORS POST!.
Moesha, realized that what she did by “settling” with Gavin, she held her self back from what could have been a better life and so I am sure that she has gained more wisdom now, and also Gavin is now missing what he HAD!!.
Obara Meji is a spiritualist, Ifa-Orisa practitioner, and teacher of metaphysics. Since 2011 she has used her online platform to share her personal experiences to those seeking answers about spirituality. Her teachings will expand into short stories, novels, and public speaking to continue her mission of bringing enlightenment to the world.