It has been so long since I have made a post, I know. I have been a little busy but I am here now! Thank Olodumare!
In my journey I have heard many peoples stories and through them I learn a lot. Although these people may seek council from me about their lives, I realize that as I council them or do divination for them, or even just talk to them – I learn so much.
I am very big on lessons and understanding lessons from life experiences, even if they are not my own. Today, I wish to share some consciousness with you all, as someone I know has just passed a major phase in his life.
There is a young man that I know, and I’ve known him for a while, who often calls me about a new problem with whomever he is currently dating. Because some things I am about to say is negative, and though I am not using his name, I will refer to this young man as “his enemy”.
(if you are new to this blog, negative statements about oneself or those you love should be replaced with “my enemy” if speaking about yourself, or “his/her enemy” if speaking about someone else. This is because negative statements should not be affirmed onto yourself. This was a great lesson I learned while traveling Yorubaland with my tradition).
His enemy realizes that every relationship he has ever had (and he is not yet 30) has always ended in argument, disgrace, rejection and the women fighting to get rid of him no matter how good the relationship was in the beginning. This young man is very handsome, very talented, and has everything that most women would desire. Yet, by looking at him and his talents and social circles, one would believe that he would be confident within himself and move on when one relationship fails.
Instead, however, when these women begin to reject the relationship, he clings on to them and fights desperately for the relationship, no matter who the girl is or whether or not he is actually interested in her. From a materialistic point of view, many people have asked him “what are you doing with someone like her?” As this young man often searches for unfortunate women with troubled pasts in order to rise them. In other words, he is attracted to women who some may call “damaged goods”.
So recently, as in last week, yet another relationship has just ended. He called me and we spoke at length about it, but as we spoke I asked him the question:
“What have you learned?”
For a moment he couldn’t answer. I then pushed and told him that one of the things I teach is that when a person experiences the same thing over and over and over again, there is a lesson that they are missing. It is like taking an exam and failing that exam and having to do it as many times as it takes until you pass, which will take them to the next grade. In other words, in real life experience, it is only when facing the same negative situation but later understanding why , that you can be catapulted to the next phase of your life.
As I told him this, I could see where consciousness rose from his head and the light began to shine. He then narrated a story to me…
He told me that the day the girlfriend told him to leave her house, he had 6 giant boxes all packed with his clothes and belongings with him. He called an Uber and lugged all 6 large boxes to the taxi. After filling out paperwork at the Storage center, he asked the clerk, “Who will help me take the boxes to the storage room?”
To which the clerk responded, “Sir, this is Self-Storage. You have to move your storage yourself.”
He said immediately he realized that for the first time in his life there was no one to help him. He, at that moment, realized that he had to wake up to his independence and rely on himself. It was a moment that brought tears to his eyes, he told me. And so he struggled alone with 6 heavy boxes, lugging them to the storage room.
It was during this move that the realization came that all his life he had had helpers. He had a mother who sheltered him and gave him anything he wanted, and he was not relied on to do or pay for anything if he did not want to.
So while he thought he was unfortunate in love, the women he dated were not lovers but teachers. The women do not know this, but their Ori and his Ori know who he is destined to become, and so their job was to deal with him harshly so that he can overcome his deep fear which caused him to cling to them. Another lesson he needed to learn was the lesson of responsibility.
I asked him, “When you moved in with her, did you pay any bill?”
He told me, “Well I buy her anything she wants.”
I asked again, “But do you pay any bills in the house?”
He said, “The money I spend on her in food, taxi, clothes, shoes and jewelry adds up to more than her bills.”
I told him that this was not the same. However, In his responses I saw that he could not see his own faults. The reason he had been going through the same situation in relationships, is because he had missed the lesson every time. What he needed to learn from these women has not been realized. What he needed to learn from life has only just begun the day when he stood in a new town carrying 6 heavy boxes alone.
When life knocks on your door, most often people tend not to hear it. We find ourselves and our paths through our experiences and through our ability to understand things that happens to us, be they positive or negative and how they affect us in our everyday lives.
A person who is destined for greatness will stumble and fall many times. This person may face imprisonment, he may face homelessness, he may meet some of the vilest people in life and have to contend them or battle them in order to survive, they may have to battle their own family. Or he may even go through a dark period of sadness and loneliness. Life lessons are harsh and many people put a rope around their neck because they can not bear the burden that they carry.
But if only they had the insight to know that the person who bears the heaviest load are the ones who are destined for greatness. Many people may read this blog and say,
“But Obara, I know a woman who suffered since she was born to the day she died, but here you’re saying that people who suffer are destined for greatness.”
Please note that all rewards are not given to us here on Earth. Some people get rewarded for their service on earth in their new life, after they have unplugged from this realm.
People who live and die this way are examples for others. They have made contracts within the realms of spirit to come into life and leave behind a great lesson for others, if it was even learning endurance.
Our experiences through life at times make us wonder about our journey, especially if you are not looking at your life through spirituality. But you ought to know that everything that you go through, every experience that you live, from what you wear, how you comb your hair, who you marry – all of these have some influence on your path and how you go forward in life.
The clothes you wear, up to the color, pulls toward you a particular energy that can take you from one step to another – like the extras in a play working to push you to the next phase of your life. Life comes in phases and these phases only open up when you have gotten the lessons or have understood the lessons made for you. You can only advance after you have come to a realization.
One thing the humans must know is that they should try to understand hardship, things that are not going your way. Sweet things are certainly enjoyable, but when hardship, pain and sorrow comes, humans tend to want to quit or become sorrowful, fearful or lost. But hardships are like the exam you do not know how to solve, but there is a solution if we are able to calm ourselves internally and externally and realize that these impediments have presented themselves because it is now time to move on to the next phase.
As with the young man’s story above, if you find yourself in situations that you live over and over again, then it is time to look into them and think “What is the lesson that I have missed? Where do I go from here when I find that lesson?”
Another thing I want you all to know is that there are “waiting periods” in life. Periods where you have no friends, no job, no social life, no love life, and you feel as if you are alone with no plan and no where to go. You can not see the future and you don’t know what life holds ahead.
Know that this waiting period, this time of being alone, is only for a spell. While this is happening, a greater plan is being created for you, and when it comes, it will come with unspeakable joy.
Eye O Ni Wi Feye Pe Okuta N Bo – A bird will not tell (another) bird that a stone is coming. / One will always save themselves first out of instinct, not wickedness. – Yoruba Proverb
Obara Meji is a spiritualist, Ifa-Orisa practitioner, and teacher of metaphysics. Since 2011 she has used her online platform to share her personal experiences to those seeking answers about spirituality. Her teachings will expand into short stories, novels, and public speaking to continue her mission of bringing enlightenment to the world.