There was a time when I thought I couldn’t speak about this. It even pained me to remember the feeling of anxiety attacks when they first began. I didn’t know what it was, I just knew how I felt. It was worrisome for me because during those times, I thought I was losing my mind.
I used to have feelings of anxiousness, heart palpitations, and hyperventilations, and felt like I wanted to just get up and start running.
But “run for what?” was the logic that spoke to me and kept me grounded.
I remember I would burst into tears at odd times and when ever I was around crowds, like going to the supermarkets, trains or buses, the feeling enhanced.
I had a crackhead friend named Debby (I had no idea she was on crack at the time, she seemed functional to me). She was a blessing in my life. I thank all that is Holy that Debby was around me because when I would ask her to follow me to the supermarket, she was always supportive of what might happen next.
The moment I would get to the supermarket doors, I would feel a force come at me so powerfully it almost knocked me over. My heart would start to race, I couldn’t breathe, I would stumble backwards, grab Debby and run to the parking lot.
I was shaking, I was nervous, my eyes were wild, and I would grab Debby with every strength I had. I did not know it then but that “force” that came at me was the collective life force, or energy, of every single person in that supermarket. The reason I had felt it was because I was being opened up spiritually, thus I was sensitive to energies . And this was the premise to me becoming who I am.
Debby would always stay with me, rub my arms soothingly, and tell me that everything will be OK.
There were times when I would just break down into tears and these miserable episodes began when I was a teenager. The anxiety began a little later outside of my teenage years and I I worried about my children because in the deep corner of my mind I did not know what would become of me.
The mistake I made was asking random people if they, too, had these feelings. Of course, some people being either ignorant or simply insensitive would tell me, “No, only mad people feel that way.” This only made me panic even more.
Anxiety and panic attacks turned into depression. And if you have ever been depressed, it is one of of the most awful feelings in the world. Much different from the anxiety and panic attacks that placed you there. I describe depression as being at the bottom of a very deep well where it is dark, and damp and lonely and scary. Looking up from the well you can see the sky and the sun and light and brightness… but how do you get there? Who will pull you up? Who will hear you?
This is how it felt for me. I felt completely detached from myself. I felt as though my body was one place, and my spirit was across the street from me, and we could not meet.
But little did I know…
When all of these episodes began, although they manifested in the physical realm and acted upon my mind, what was happening to me was that I was becoming awake.
I was being “born again” in a major way. This is why when ever I meet anyone who tells me that they are suffering from depression, anxiety attacks, or looming fear of something or the other (because fear is the base of all these things) I squint my eyes and look at these people deeply. I realize that all their chakras and third eyes are opening up – and trust me, it is a jarring experience.
When you are in the same space as certain non-physical beings, and there are different levels of spirits (ancestral spirits, spirit guides, pure light beings, dark beings, or even Higher Beings of Light), the frequency these beings carry is way beyond what we can handle in our realm.
Stand beside a gong and have someone hit the gong beside you. The sound that the gong will make will be loud and resonate far. But the noise will affect you that is standing within reach of this gong, and you will feel it all throughout your body. That is anxiety. That is panic attacks.
How does it affect you?
When the spirit of the grandmother that died enters your space, you will feel chills, hot or cold flashes, goose pimples, hairs standing on end, slightly anxious (depending on how high grandmother is in vibration from her world), and more.
Other spirits of light that may carry a higher vibration than the grandmother, whether they are benevolent or malevolent, the person will feel a looming feeling of fear. Fear of what, exactly? They won’t know. It doesn’t matter if the spirit is good or bad, it is the vibration we are focusing on. That looming feeling of fear then converts to anxiety, and the anxiousness then converts to panic attacks.
When ever any spirit comes from their world to our world, because this Earth is lower in vibration, when the Higher Being comes, if the person is not lifted in consciousness they will feel the presence of these entities in some unusual way.
Anxiety is the feeling one gets from the clash of their lower vibrational energy versus the higher vibrational energy of the non-physical being.
This happens when spirits enter our space or when we enter theirs.
When the person is not a practicing spiritualist or their vibration has not been risen (spiritual initiation), they will have not only the feelings described above but also a dull ache in the head and/or eye (most often the right eye, this is because the right side for most people is the more dominant side). The eye will feel intense tension as though someone is trying to pluck it out. There will also be a pressure at the back of the neck, the top of the head, or between the brows.
There are reasons for these particular areas.
Most people who go through these things are people who I refer to as sponges because they soak up the energies of other people and thus result in anxiety and panic attacks. Also, people who go through these things are spiritual people who need to get closer to their spirituality.
What ruins this, however, is becoming doped up on medication for anxiety or panic attacks, but this is for another post.
The next time you have a feeling of anxiousness or panic, know that something higher than yourself has entered your space. All you need to do is talk yourself down, and you will be fine.
I may do a class on these things to teach you the correct methods to use to overcome these feelings and how to avoid them altogether.
All truths goes through 3 stages: First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident. – Schoepenhouer