Years ago I considered myself a worrier. I worried about everything. I would go to bed at nights with worry on my mind and wake up refreshed, stretching and yawning at the new day, as the sun beamed through my window, but as I stretched and yawned I also searched my mind to remember what was it I was worried about before I went to sleep.
Like a computer, my brain would do a quick Google search to find it and the worry would begin again. I had experienced intermittent disappointments in my life, that I worried ahead of the next one to come. All I wanted to be was happy. In my spirit I felt happy, but I knew life had a way of swinging at you from the left, when you least expected it. I tried not to dwell on bad things, but I knew that life was like being in a boat out in the Ocean, at times the ride would be smooth and other times rough and the roughness of life had stages to it, no one knew how the wind would blow tomorrow.
As I grew from being a teenager, having a child and being on my own, I realized that, I was at times numb to the world and all its happenings. I pray that you all will understand this which I have written, because It was even hard for me to comprehend. All my expectations, hopes and dreams that I had as a child did not go the way I had imagined it. It made me sad to see that I was almost like an outcast to my family, and I thought to myself, me? Obara Meji, who is so loving and compassionate to all, not ever wanting to see anyone suffer, why then had my life taken a turn where it seemed as if I had no one and none cared for me. I had so much love to give, and I wondered about God and why did he not help me so that I could be a part of my family and they would love me again. The pain of being abandoned (meaning they turned their backs on me) was so much, that eventually, I began to feel nothing, I went numb.
I was never someone who embraced sadness and depression, books helped me and kept my mind free from all that I had encountered while travelling life’s way. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that what ever I worried about in life, whatever problems I encountered, no matter the problem, I knew that all would be well and that I would over come. I always had this feeling, even if I never voiced it out, I was always reassured from deep within my spirit that I should fear not, and that feeling is with me to this day.
God speaks to us in so many different ways if only we are wise enough to identify the messages. Once when I was a teenager, I had gotten a job in a supermarket as a cashier. The supermarket where I worked sent me to another location one day, because they were short staffed. It was about 8 pm in the evening when I was checking out a group of young Caucasian women, there were three in number, while cashing their items, I heard them chanting something unrecognizable as they carefully watched me cashing their items. They seemed to clenched their fists to their chins in an anxious way, but they all had a strained smile on their anxious faces. I thought to myself and chuckled,white people mad ei nuh, as I watched them from my peripheral while cashing the items.
The money for their items came up to $48.00, and they shrieked like silly school girls and flung their arms around a very astonished me, while jumping up and down and smiling. I looked around to make sure other people was noticing this, and seeing my expression, they began to explain to me their actions. They said that they were students at the local college where they also live. They wanted to cook, but could only come up with fifty dollars between them. They were Buddhists so they prayed while shopping for all of the items they needed they also chanted Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, according to them this chant and its positive vibration assisted them into reaching their goal, thus making them very happy. They wrote the chant down for me and I went home and chanted it every day, lol.
It helped me back then, although I did not recognize the help that I received from this wonderful Buddhist chant until writing this post just now. The stories for those are too painful for me to conjure today, although I overcame.
Again as a teenager, I met an African American man, his name was James. He was an older man who had just moved into our neighborhood and would sit on our stoop with other men drinking Beer encased in a brown paper bag in the evenings I would sit out front of the building with these old men and hear them talk of their lives while they drank one beer after another.
There was one day, when I sat outside with James, just he and I. The other drinkers had not arrived as yet, James had already began to drink. It was obvious to me that he had some mental issues, but what the formal diagnosis was, I had no idea, PSTD old Louis had said, but was never confirmed by James to me. James at times while drinking and hanging out with the other gentlemen would begin screaming for absolutely no reason and shouting that we all should get flat. The first time James did this in my presence, and with me being Jamaican and unfortunately there sitting with them, I got flat and covered my ears shouting “Lawd Gad, Lawd Gad“! I expected to hear a barrage ah shots as how we know it in Jamaica. They never came, what came instead was a set of old men laughing hysterically at me. I knew from then that James, although a nice man, had a few tools missing from his tool box.
Well this particular day as I sat with James my mad/veteran friend, he began to tell me his life story. His is one story which taught me from a younger age never to judge, because you do not know what has brought someone to the point in life where they have reached or how they behave.
James told me that he joined the army when he realized he could not get a job, times were hard and he being the only child for his mom, wanted to make her proud of him. In the army he was sent to Vietnam. James told me while there he killed many people, often times even killing children age 12 and 13, not knowing that they were children until they lay dead. After a while he became ill and was hospitalized and eventually sent home. He was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, which gave him episodes and flash backs of the many people he killed, especially the children, they haunted him day and night and prompted his occasional outbursts.
Tears ran from James eyes as he told his story and also from mine, I felt his pain. He said he went into the army whole and came out broken, but he prayed night and day for God to heal him and he was sure that healing would come. He told me that he drank to numb the pain of what he did to those children, but it did not work, and he asked me to keep him in my prayers because he wanted to be James again. He smiled a sad smile and wiped his tears, and I was touched by his story and in his hope of becoming who he was before he experienced all which he did.
I realized that even though James had done all these horrible things while serving his country,he was a good person and he was paying for it by way of his conscience. His mother raised a good son but the the sins of the world are never far from human beings, but still he hoped for redemption.
With all he had been through and even struggling with mental disease and also a drinking problem, he still prayed to be well and hoped to one day be even a semblance of himself.
Somewhere within James, he was fighting for his life, his well being. I wished him well.
We should all try as best we can to be positive, we should always look to life with a positive mind.
We are the author of our lives, in that we can create our own reality with our thoughts. We should never dwell on anything which is dark or negative, but rather turn any negative situations we encounter into a positive one. How do we do that?
We must always look for the lessons in whatever crosses our lives which is not conducive to our spirit or our lives as we live it or may want it to be.
Never look for the bad side to any situation first, always expect to hear and see the best results in whatever you endeavor.
Disappointments are a part of life, look at them keenly when they occur, because they will, as lessons learned and also needed for your spiritual evolution.
Keep in thought and know that you are powerful.
Embrace life to its fullest, be happy and be present in your life.
Make your own decisions, even if you take advice from others, be comfortable in the life choices you make.
You are allowed to reflect, but never allow your self to regret, remember that there are no coincidences in life and even an regrettable experience has its own lesson, learn from them, and teach from them.
It is important to love yourself, you are special in your own unique way.
Affirm good things daily.
Smile and be as pleasant as you can be,happy thoughts and happy attitude brings about same results.
Never worry about anything, whatever the problem know in your heart that there is solution.
Have only positive expectations.
Remove negative words from your vocabulary.
Dedicate yourself to your way of thinking….Positively.
A positive attitude is like a pass port to anywhere in life.
Keep good and positive company and friends, if the company you keep is negative, then in that dark dismal tunnel they will also drag you, release them!
Ìgbìyànjú la fií mọ akínkanjú /
Willingness to make the needed effort is how a brave person is known……Yoruba Proverbs!
[Give it a shot! Make effort to start; starting quite often is the impetus needed.]
All religion are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…. Obara Meji!
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji
7 Tremendous Effects of Having a Positive Attitude
“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” ~ Earl Nightingale
I always advise people to focus on what they love and not on what they hate, to look for the good in people instead of the bad, to act as they would love to be not as others tell them they should, for what we focus on expands and “what we resist, not only persists but will also grow in size.” ~ Carl Jung.
By being a happy person, by focusing on the good rather than the bad, on the positive rather than the negative, on what we want rather than what we don’t want, we are able to transform ourselves, our lives and the lives of those around us.
There are many tremendous effects of having a positive attitude and today I will cover 7 of them.
When others do nothing but to criticize and complain, you focus on the good in people, you look beyond the surface and the labels. You focus on what can be done not on what was and on what is, you create a new reality for yourself and those around you. You break the rules and you show the world how IMPOSSIBLE can become I’M POSSIBLE.
“You’ve gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less.” ~Author Unknown
2. Boost Self Confidence
We rarely stop to think how powerful our words are and the impact they can have on people’s lives.
“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” ~ Buddha
By beautifying our thoughts, by using kind words when we speak with ourselves and with
others, by looking for opportunities instead of obstacles, by looking for the good in ourselves and others and by praising the good traits instead of the bad ones, we help boost our own self esteem, self confidence and also the self confidence of those we interact with.
By doing so, we help transform negative behaviors into positive ones and we go from being unhappy to being happy.
3. Positive Impact
Not only will you have a positive impact on people’s lives by constantly looking for ways to bring the GOOD on the surface through everything you do, but you will also have a positive impact on the world we all live in, for you can’t help one person without helping yourself and without helping the whole world.
“Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~ Steve Maraboli
You help people awaken by telling them how much you believe in them and by showing them how much you care about their needs and desires. So many of us live most of our lives on auto pilot and by treating people differently and by praising vs. criticizing, you help “awaken the giant within them.” ~ Tony Robbins
“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” ~ John O’Donohue
5. Meaningful Living
Whenever you catch people doing something positive, praise them and tell them how precious and valuable they are; tell them how much the world needs their unique gifts and talents and how without them the world would be incomplete. Lead by example; allow yourself to be a source of inspiration for many and know that by bringing meaning and purpose into your life you will inspire and help others do the same.
“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing — then we truly live life.”~ Greg Anderson
6. The Gift of Love
People look for inspiration, they look for role models, somebody from whom they can learn, somebody who can inspire and empower them, they look for somebody who can help heal their fears and unleash their hidden potential.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” ~ Mark Twain
By being the happy and positive person that you are, by loving yourself and your life, by following your heart and making your dreams come true, you inspire others to do the same, and you offer the world the gift of love. Love for themselves, love for the work they do, love for the people around them and what’s most important, LOVE for their own LIVES!
“Who, being loved, is poor?” ~ Oscar Wilde
In conclusion, you offer yourself and the whole world the gift of happiness. When you yourself get to a place where you can accept yourself completely, where you can be satisfied with who you are and what you have, you will be able to be happy with those around you also. The outside world is nothing more than a projection of our inner world and “everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung