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Years ago I considered myself a worrier. I worried about everything. I would go to bed at nights with worry on my mind and wake up refreshed, stretching and yawning at the new day, as the sun beamed through my window, but as I stretched and yawned I also searched my mind to remember what was it I was worried about before I went to sleep.
Like a computer, my brain would do a quick Google search to find it and the worry would begin again. I had experienced intermittent disappointments in my life, that I worried ahead of the next one to come. All I wanted to be was happy. In my spirit I felt happy, but I knew life had a way of swinging at you from the left, when you least expected it. I tried not to dwell on bad things, but I knew that life was like being in a boat out in the Ocean, at times the ride would be smooth and other times rough and the roughness of life had stages to it, no one knew how the wind would blow tomorrow.
As I grew from being a teenager, having a child and being on my own, I realized that, I was at times numb to the world and all its happenings. I pray that you all will understand this which I have written, because It was even hard for me to comprehend. All my expectations, hopes and dreams that I had as a child did not go the way I had imagined it. It made me sad to see that I was almost like an outcast to my family, and I thought to myself, me? Obara Meji, who is so loving and compassionate to all, not ever wanting to see anyone suffer, why then had my life taken a turn where it seemed as if I had no one and none cared for me. I had so much love to give, and I wondered about God and why did he not help me so that I could be a part of my family and they would love me again. The pain of being abandoned (meaning they turned their backs on me) was so much, that eventually, I began to feel nothing, I went numb.
I was never someone who embraced sadness and depression, books helped me and kept my mind free from all that I had encountered while travelling life’s way. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that what ever I worried about in life, whatever problems I encountered, no matter the problem, I knew that all would be well and that I would over come. I always had this feeling, even if I never voiced it out, I was always reassured from deep within my spirit that I should fear not, and that feeling is with me to this day.
God speaks to us in so many different ways if only we are wise enough to identify the messages. Once when I was a teenager, I had gotten a job in a supermarket as a cashier. The supermarket where I worked sent me to another location one day, because they were short staffed. It was about 8 pm in the evening when I was checking out a group of young Caucasian women, there were three in number, while cashing their items, I heard them chanting something unrecognizable as they carefully watched me cashing their items. They seemed to clenched their fists to their chins in an anxious way, but they all had a strained smile on their anxious faces. I thought to myself and chuckled,white people mad ei nuh, as I watched them from my peripheral while cashing the items.
The money for their items came up to $48.00, and they shrieked like silly school girls and flung their arms around a very astonished me, while jumping up and down and smiling. I looked around to make sure other people was noticing this, and seeing my expression, they began to explain to me their actions. They said that they were students at the local college where they also live. They wanted to cook, but could only come up with fifty dollars between them. They were Buddhists so they prayed while shopping for all of the items they needed they also chanted Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, according to them this chant and its positive vibration assisted them into reaching their goal, thus making them very happy. They wrote the chant down for me and I went home and chanted it every day, lol.
It helped me back then, although I did not recognize the help that I received from this wonderful Buddhist chant until writing this post just now. The stories for those are too painful for me to conjure today, although I overcame.
Again as a teenager, I met an African American man, his name was James. He was an older man who had just moved into our neighborhood and would sit on our stoop with other men drinking Beer encased in a brown paper bag in the evenings I would sit out front of the building with these old men and hear them talk of their lives while they drank one beer after another.
There was one day, when I sat outside with James, just he and I. The other drinkers had not arrived as yet, James had already began to drink. It was obvious to me that he had some mental issues, but what the formal diagnosis was, I had no idea, PSTD old Louis had said, but was never confirmed by James to me. James at times while drinking and hanging out with the other gentlemen would begin screaming for absolutely no reason and shouting that we all should get flat. The first time James did this in my presence, and with me being Jamaican and unfortunately there sitting with them, I got flat and covered my ears shouting “Lawd Gad, Lawd Gad“! I expected to hear a barrage ah shots as how we know it in Jamaica. They never came, what came instead was a set of old men laughing hysterically at me. I knew from then that James, although a nice man, had a few tools missing from his tool box.
Well this particular day as I sat with James my mad/veteran friend, he began to tell me his life story. His is one story which taught me from a younger age never to judge, because you do not know what has brought someone to the point in life where they have reached or how they behave.
James told me that he joined the army when he realized he could not get a job, times were hard and he being the only child for his mom, wanted to make her proud of him. In the army he was sent to Vietnam. James told me while there he killed many people, often times even killing children age 12 and 13, not knowing that they were children until they lay dead. After a while he became ill and was hospitalized and eventually sent home. He was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, which gave him episodes and flash backs of the many people he killed, especially the children, they haunted him day and night and prompted his occasional outbursts.
Tears ran from James eyes as he told his story and also from mine, I felt his pain. He said he went into the army whole and came out broken, but he prayed night and day for God to heal him and he was sure that healing would come. He told me that he drank to numb the pain of what he did to those children, but it did not work, and he asked me to keep him in my prayers because he wanted to be James again. He smiled a sad smile and wiped his tears, and I was touched by his story and in his hope of becoming who he was before he experienced all which he did.
I realized that even though James had done all these horrible things while serving his country,he was a good person and he was paying for it by way of his conscience. His mother raised a good son but the the sins of the world are never far from human beings, but still he hoped for redemption.
With all he had been through and even struggling with mental disease and also a drinking problem, he still prayed to be well and hoped to one day be even a semblance of himself.
Somewhere within James, he was fighting for his life, his well being. I wished him well.
We should all try as best we can to be positive, we should always look to life with a positive mind.
We are the author of our lives, in that we can create our own reality with our thoughts. We should never dwell on anything which is dark or negative, but rather turn any negative situations we encounter into a positive one. How do we do that?
We must always look for the lessons in whatever crosses our lives which is not conducive to our spirit or our lives as we live it or may want it to be.
Never look for the bad side to any situation first, always expect to hear and see the best results in whatever you endeavor.
Disappointments are a part of life, look at them keenly when they occur, because they will, as lessons learned and also needed for your spiritual evolution.
Keep in thought and know that you are powerful.
Embrace life to its fullest, be happy and be present in your life.
Make your own decisions, even if you take advice from others, be comfortable in the life choices you make.
You are allowed to reflect, but never allow your self to regret, remember that there are no coincidences in life and even an regrettable experience has its own lesson, learn from them, and teach from them.
It is important to love yourself, you are special in your own unique way.
Affirm good things daily.
Smile and be as pleasant as you can be,happy thoughts and happy attitude brings about same results.
Never worry about anything, whatever the problem know in your heart that there is solution.
Have only positive expectations.
Remove negative words from your vocabulary.
Dedicate yourself to your way of thinking….Positively.
A positive attitude is like a pass port to anywhere in life.
Keep good and positive company and friends, if the company you keep is negative, then in that dark dismal tunnel they will also drag you, release them!
Ìgbìyànjú la fií mọ akínkanjú /
Willingness to make the needed effort is how a brave person is known……Yoruba Proverbs!
[Give it a shot! Make effort to start; starting quite often is the impetus needed.]
All religion are valid as long as it teaches peace and love…. Obara Meji!
There are no disappointments in life, only lessons learned!….Obara Meji
7 Tremendous Effects of Having a Positive Attitude
“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” ~ Earl Nightingale
I always advise people to focus on what they love and not on what they hate, to look for the good in people instead of the bad, to act as they would love to be not as others tell them they should, for what we focus on expands and “what we resist, not only persists but will also grow in size.” ~ Carl Jung.
By being a happy person, by focusing on the good rather than the bad, on the positive rather than the negative, on what we want rather than what we don’t want, we are able to transform ourselves, our lives and the lives of those around us.
There are many tremendous effects of having a positive attitude and today I will cover 7 of them.
When others do nothing but to criticize and complain, you focus on the good in people, you look beyond the surface and the labels. You focus on what can be done not on what was and on what is, you create a new reality for yourself and those around you. You break the rules and you show the world how IMPOSSIBLE can become I’M POSSIBLE.
“You’ve gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less.” ~Author Unknown
2. Boost Self Confidence
We rarely stop to think how powerful our words are and the impact they can have on people’s lives.
“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” ~ Buddha
By beautifying our thoughts, by using kind words when we speak with ourselves and with
others, by looking for opportunities instead of obstacles, by looking for the good in ourselves and others and by praising the good traits instead of the bad ones, we help boost our own self esteem, self confidence and also the self confidence of those we interact with.
By doing so, we help transform negative behaviors into positive ones and we go from being unhappy to being happy.
3. Positive Impact
Not only will you have a positive impact on people’s lives by constantly looking for ways to bring the GOOD on the surface through everything you do, but you will also have a positive impact on the world we all live in, for you can’t help one person without helping yourself and without helping the whole world.
“Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~ Steve Maraboli
You help people awaken by telling them how much you believe in them and by showing them how much you care about their needs and desires. So many of us live most of our lives on auto pilot and by treating people differently and by praising vs. criticizing, you help “awaken the giant within them.” ~ Tony Robbins
“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” ~ John O’Donohue
5. Meaningful Living
Whenever you catch people doing something positive, praise them and tell them how precious and valuable they are; tell them how much the world needs their unique gifts and talents and how without them the world would be incomplete. Lead by example; allow yourself to be a source of inspiration for many and know that by bringing meaning and purpose into your life you will inspire and help others do the same.
“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing — then we truly live life.”~ Greg Anderson
6. The Gift of Love
People look for inspiration, they look for role models, somebody from whom they can learn, somebody who can inspire and empower them, they look for somebody who can help heal their fears and unleash their hidden potential.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” ~ Mark Twain
By being the happy and positive person that you are, by loving yourself and your life, by following your heart and making your dreams come true, you inspire others to do the same, and you offer the world the gift of love. Love for themselves, love for the work they do, love for the people around them and what’s most important, LOVE for their own LIVES!
“Who, being loved, is poor?” ~ Oscar Wilde
In conclusion, you offer yourself and the whole world the gift of happiness. When you yourself get to a place where you can accept yourself completely, where you can be satisfied with who you are and what you have, you will be able to be happy with those around you also. The outside world is nothing more than a projection of our inner world and “everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung
[…] on our step with James my friend (he was a veteran and suffered from PTSD) and the other old men, read here, he never drank nor did he speak much when the others were around. At times I would meet him on […]
Blessings all. Wow!! thank you for another wonderful piece. Miss Obara you are such a blessing again as most of your pieces it as if you are talking to me. Thank you thank you.
Thanks u for sharing this words of encouragement
Reblogged this on divasdudesbizconcept and commented:
Am so happy with this!
I read the poems Teach, they are good.
Morning all. A very wonderful post as usual Teach. This post has touched a nerve. Just yesterday I was walking inna di cowl and was saying to myself, I choose to be happy. I have realized the grace that God has given me. Everything that I have asked, I have received. There are ppl here (2 Jamaican women) who seem to want to get me off track coming at me with fuc*ry. They came for me and man, they didn’t know I was capable of going so hard. Mi mek dem know homie don’t play. All I could think of… Read more »
mawning girl yuh read mi poem
Cami, love and light mi sweetie, how yuh feeling?
Hey Shana and Kia B
Obara yuh up sweetie? A pleasant Good Morning love!
Good post! I often tell people people don’t make fun of the homeless because often time they are VETS and the goverment has done 100% damage to them. I love this story. This is one that I have to print off and re read.
Shana mi sweetie. This is a definite pick-me-upper. Sleep well…
Evening to all on this post…Obara, for the first time I’m going to print something from the site, it will be this post. Other than that the post speaks for itself.
Night Cami please take care of ur anti meds self lol
Lol! Yazzy the cowl an mi knee dem nah gree atall
Nunu a see you Yaz with the high energy as usual 🙂
Cami Cam! Hey mi booooo. Mi sleep and wake. How yuh feel?? Yuh up??
I found some “home remedy” you can incorporate into your at home, non Rx treatment, care plan to help with your speedy recovery.
Kisses boo. HTH!
Nunu if u eva si mi a rub di warm.castor oil pon mi foot dem tonight ooooh gawd u si mi dyin trial grrrr @#$%&–=-:;”!?/-&%$# di blarsnaut cowl a frig up mi good good baddi
KiaBubblez mi hottaz! 😀 nuh blurrrrrsssssnaught col’ cyah mash up weh Big Man Splen a mad ova! A wah do yuh boo?? Yuh got it like dat…. Spin yuh roll and rub dung di goodaz badi wid di remedy mi frennnn!! 😀
Ps, mi nah know seh Castor oil can use fi all dese tingz. Yuh nuh fi fraid fi dash out eenuh.
Nunu mi honestly sarry fi hear seh yuh knee dem and di col’ nah live loving. Mi cyah stand dem weather conditions deh nuh mo’ (atleast not for an extended period of time) ….. afta mi nuh owe De. Laurence!
Mi grudge di warm weather people right now
Nunu nuh bada grudge mi!! 😀 yuh can come Chica! Wi can pak up like sardine Nunu!
mi sehhhhhhhhhh grrrrrrrrr kmrt yes mi vex wid unno
Mi kaint manij mi fam here!
straight jakit and brazillian hair nuh guh good togedda
Straight Jakit and brazillian hair! DEADMENTZ!
so like how mi nuh seet no more Ty mi cure? cawsen sey mi cyaan manij nuh straight jackit enuh
Lol…yes you are…
Lol yuh need the jacket bout no Brazilian hair
Good evening Yazzy and Ty
Hey Nunu boo!
mi ah dine fi sleep but run come peep, ptsd can come from anyting Ty?? lawd ah massi, one day mi ah drive an deh ah one stop light, mi foot pon de brake, and mi nuh know how come but mi foot come offa de brake an bump de man in frontten mi, mi fritten, him fritten, mi pickney dem fritten (me maybe did figet fi feed Ogun, mi nuh sure) henny way de man jump out mussi swear sey him rich nung,but nutten nay do him car or fi mi, him look,look, look, so tell,nutten hi drive whey… Read more »
Yes that was PTSD….
I once had tea from a tea bag and I vomit till I thought I would die….to this day, even if I smell a tea bag, I vomit….straight bush tea fir me…
Lmfaaaooooo Obara! Did man swear him rich deh now eenuh. Him drive off well disappointed brah brah.
Obara, mi nuh tink yuh did have it bad even if it was it. But like Ty says we’ve definitely all been touched by it on some type of scale.
PTSD can come from any trauma…a bad relationship, a car accident, etc….
We all have faced it at some point…we have to dig deep…to get out this glum….
That’s so true Ty. Sometimes yuh greatest fight in life is the fight for your identity. Caz losing it is no joke.
Yes Yazzy….that is why the spiritual path has been so great…first realm and challenge is facing your true self…after that the other realms open up…
James unfortunately learned that everything comes at a price….he could not get a job and joined the military…but it too came with a price…
I pray that he will one day find peace …
Incantations, mantras….oh so powerful…word sound power!!!
Evening everyone…love light and positive vibrations to you all…
Kisses my sweetie Ty. Hope you having a good Wednesday.
Hey Yazzy, counting down till Friday….
Full moon on it way and it tends to zap my energy….
Mi did think a lastnight was the full moon eenuh. It looked full. Yes it’s gonna do a number on me as well… And that’s when all hell bruk loose Ty
mi clean my house top to bottom ah slide and wine and pedal and wheel to dance hall and any music, lolol
LMFAO!! Obara yuh fi galang beta bout yuh a pedal and wheel! A weh MTH deh fi dash out pan dis?? 😀
I recommend music. Music for a wounded soul is a must!! When my happiness is threatened I rely on some good ass music to lift my spirit and assist in clearing the energy around me.
It’s true. Good music ALWAYS lifts my spirits. Music is nutrients for the soul.
SS it sure is. When mi wah dig mi self out of a rut… No matter how deep… I call upon the musical elements!
Yazzy loooool is true. The ish can stink and you still can smell the roses. SSeeker yes we must keep good and positive company and friends.
good evening everyone!
Obara thanks for this inspiring post. Even when life gets you down and it’s hard to see past your current situation, there is still so much to be thankful, hopeful, and glad for. We have to continue to always send positive thoughts, prayers, encouraging words, and healing vibes to each other to stay lifted.
I really did fee for poor James. War is a wicked thing.
Hey mi sweetie SS. Missed yuh boo! Kisses and love and light! Muaahz!
Hugs back at you, Yazzykins! Muah!
Big up Obara Meji fi always a inspire!… thru the eyes of your life and the lives of others. Each one teach one!
James’ story reminds me of a relatives ptsd that he suffered from the war. I was told that he returned from Vietnam traumatized and a shell of him self. He would often drop to the floor screaming about the enemy coming. War is horrible for all parties involved and most humans suffer mentally if not physically from war. I cant imagine the horrors they experience.
Love n light to all veterans
Loving yourself ***FIRST*** is the greatest love.
Hey Empress Yazzy 😀 😀 your spirit is so loving and energetic…it always make me smile and laugh.
Even when you love your self sometimes situations can make it funky but loving yourself helps you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Helping you to acknowledge that betta muss come….
Mi sweetie KB, you got that right. Even while having an abundance of love for yourself, ish happens and try come test it. Or it actually tests it… But is not the knock down weh count … Is the rise…
Beta mus come babygirl. But when yuh have some serious Love fi yuhself… Is like beta has already arrived. It’s like beta was already ALWAYS present… Shadowing you. Di issues can mukky as ish but di love fi yuh self mek yuh all smell di ish and tink a rose!
Ps, Shakespeare yuh nuh have shit pan mi!! 😀
Yes, Yazzy! Preach!!!
Thanks for the inspirational post. Nunu you are not alone. I was having funky feelings the other day as well. I spent extra time at my altar just talking to God and my ancestors. I know better must come…
Hellooooooooooooo all nice and decent bloggers and peepers
Hey mi sis Kia Boo!! Beta mussss come babygirl. Gwaan bawl out and claim yuh blessings.
hey toy, nunu, yazzyyyyy, yes yazzy, James story was touching
Ya man James story… The way you captured him, I had a chance to meet James a d sit with James vs who others perceived James to be. We got a glimpse of James! Now his story has been told…. I wept for him!
Morning! I made it early. James I feel bad for him. “Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~ Steve Maraboli I don’t know who this man is but I love his quotes.
Toy mi hot sis. Morning & Happy Wednesday!
Nothing beats a great quote that speaks to yuh.
Happy Wednesday mi sweetie Obara. Happy Wednesday allll my ESP sweeties! O, your choice in the pics for the post is always spot on. I LOVE positivity and this post is definitely one of my fav’ pick-me-uppers! This first four paragraphs had me feeling like you were reading a chapter from my life. You learn quickly not to judge a book by its cover when you meet souls like James… Weeping and battling internally, to be seen for their beauty and strength within, tho in the eyes of society they are seen as rejects. Obara I loved James’s story and… Read more »
Oh my I feel bad for poor James, ptsd is horrible
Manners, namaste! Love and light to all of you!
Namaste my sis Nunu! Love and light to you as well! Kisses!
You welcome Joy, I will call you soon!
Have mercy percy Obara a who deh chat to yuh maama!? Last night one pieca fretration tek mi cause mi did a worry bout wha fi duh an den braps mi come buk up on this lovely lovely post today!
My beautiful Nunu, mi nuh wah yuh deh worry ’bout nuting eenuh star! You’re so special that only special things are in store for you… Mi kip bawl yuh out to di universe and not a bawl out has ever gone unanswered! Suh nuh fret bout a ting boo!
Good morning obara I just want to let you know that from the moment I come across your blog it helps me in a way only god knows I start to have a open mind think positively I thank god far you I love this post.good morning to all my blogger
Hey sweetie Joy! So happy you’ve found peace and found a home here. Kisses!
back to you Cher, Love and Light sweetie! Yes, I am very loving and mi heart saff bad!
Today I feel so free, being at peace with myself and the world. Feels great. Obara you have a great caring personality. Thank you! Sending love, light and abundant blessings to all.
I edited the post and added some stuff, you can read it again if you all choose to
Yes Cher, I realized when writing this post that these ladies were also my teachers, this was at a time when I was going through hell at home, it was truly apart of my awakening
Courtney I miss you!
AMH, I recognize your positive spirit!
Obara mi sweetie, I cosign!
Obara the universe send those ladies on your line as a cashier, their spirit was meant to meet yours ( Special Angel) then magic took place. What an awakening!!! Even though you probably did not recognize your gifts then ( just my opinion I could be wrong on this). Also with James you were placed in his life for a reason and at the right time when he needed a listening ear(Deep). Love love these stories/ Testimonies as I call them.
The post as usual is right on time. Im learning to do this more and more everyday. On my way to work.
Love and light
Court mi hot gyal sis I haven’t seen ya in a min. Missed you boo. Hope yuh good and still a sip di tea for both of us. Kisses!
Great article Obara! I felt like that growing up in a family of nine siblings like an outcast, had to write letters to God daily as to why I was so kind, loving caring sharing and this constant giving and people would only take advantage of me. Call me only when they had a need. Praise God I also knew deep deep within that it too shall pass, and that I was a special/ Unique individual. My glass was always half full never half empty. Soooooo thankful I found this forum. Blessings to all
Cher sweetie I loved you since you arrived! Kisses… Something about you speaks to me.
Thanks Yazzy! I appreciate your love and open arms to me on this blog.
moring AMH, we all need it at time, life is so challenging, and often times so many things try to get you down, bu if we continue in the positive, nothing can conquer us!
Even though I have my days, I try to be a light and help uplift as many people as I can encounter each day, it helps them and it helps me!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!! Thank you for the positivity boost!
Kisses my beauty AMH!
Love and Light Yazz