Truth is Stranger than Fiction

I am an initiate. My first set of spiritual initiations took place many years ago and was done through cosmological methods and by no human being. Cosmic Beings oversaw the whole ordeal and I, in my human form, went through some sort of hell. I will not recount the hell I went through in this post because I have done so in many posts that I have already written on this blog.

But during those days I was very young and somewhat troubled, figuring life out on my own with four small children, no family that cared about me nor even one friend. But those to whom I refer to as “Cosmic Beings” have been with me since I was born. I experienced things in life that were so unusual, so mysterious and strange they would have to be told in a book. These things were so fascinating, that all my life I thought life itself was a dream, and later I found out that it is.

My initiation now I as look back was like a well written Sci-Fi movie, something like the Matrix, except I was better looking female Neo. However I was so afraid while going through all of this that I did not get to enjoy all the action parts.

My non-physical teachers were awesome and they took me around the world and showed me many things. In case you are wondering how, this was done through Astral travelling. I wish I could share so many things with you, but are you ready to hear some phenomenal stories without clutching your pearls and shouting holy ghost fire?

I was taken from my body and brought to many different places and had seen so many different things. I was taught to speak many languages and upon waking up from these ventures, I could no longer speak English. Many ancient languages became my tongue and only my small daughter was gifted with the knowledge of interpreting what I spoke. This happened for almost a year. Neighbors and family had heard that “my enemy” had gone mad, and many cried for me. My parents worried but never came to see me. I cried for myself everyday, although it didn’t occur to me then that a lunatic was not supposed to know that he was one.

When I was told by invisible Beings that the Crown was now fitted and I should begin my work, I was reluctant. “What work?” I wondered. I felt like a battered soldier coming in from war, tortured and bloodied but yet was told to enter another war without rest or having my wounds cleaned and healed.

I was now sitting at my table in my dining room with a bible and glass of water beside me, my head was wrapped with red cloth, and a book and a pencil sitting before me. People would come to see me, from where I don’t know, but they had heard about me from near and far. During my spiritual initiation, people who I knew would call my house, some to genuinely check on me and others to be nosy because they heard that my enemy was losing her mind. It really felt like it to me back then, and so I can understand why that rumor would begin. Just imagine knowing me some years ago firing off some strong Jamaican patois with the heavy Jamaican accent, and now hearing me speak Chinese.

When people called my home, I would (when my English came back) pray for them. While praying, I could see everything about their lives, up to the very clothes they were wearing at that moment, even the décor of their house. They became fascinated with this and so the “lunatic” rumor was now replaced with “she’s a prophetess“.

People started to come to me in droves. At first it was automatic writing (I guess the Cosmic wanted to know which oracle I would choose) hence the book and pencil. Then it was the Bible, then the glass of water, gazing at it like a crystal ball and reading them and at times it would be just me looking at a person and divining. When ever a person left me, they sent more people to me and even my landlord and his family started to see me. What had I become? Who had I become?

I was so afraid and wanted to run away. I felt like a fraud, an imposter! This was not me and so I begged for this heavy Crown to be lifted off. There were times when people called me to tell me that what I had told them had come to pass, but these predictions were either death, sickness, or something catastrophic that I had predicted. On top of that there were times where I even predicted obeah being the cause of these events and had even told these people who (if even in their own family) had done it.

When they would call me to tell me that it was as I had predicted — In my mind I had created chaos. I believed I had created problems or hatred between families and friends by my predictions. It weighed heavily on me. What had I done? Who gave me the authority to do this? Is this what I am doing of God? (I was deeply Christian-minded back then, not realizing that I had been liberated from the Bible).

And so I changed my phone number. Many times. I refused to see anyone or divine for anyone and I hid from all those who sought me.

But it didn’t take long for them to find me… even though I felt and at times looked like a gazelle running across the street caught in headlights. Frightened. Confused. Alone. Worried.

I had no human master. No one to tell me what was happening to me or that I was on the right path, except I was on this path and I could not get off. It was just an innate knowing, “Carry your crown and scepter; you have to walk this road.“

As the years passed, my spirituality grew and I became deeper into the Cosmic world. People began to know me, and spread my name, however there was this feeling that I could not shake. What if the things I told people that would happen and that did happen were just things that would have happened even if I did not so-call “predict” them?

This silent worry weighed heavily upon my shoulders, but I uttered it to no one. However, I would be visited by invisible Beings that would invade my body and speak through me as how Mediums do. My voice and features would change. I could drink and never intoxicate my body, or smoke and never be affected, or develop an unusual physical strength that I did not have otherwise. In my normal daily life, I had a vast amount of knowledge about Cosmic things and non-physical things and of things that were to come, if even in the next 1000 years, these things I knew with certainty… but I could not explain how I knew them.

And so I began to read and study, to see if all that I knew were written in any books at all, if any occultist or spiritual author knew them. Perhaps if I had found what I knew in a book then I would be rest assured that I was sane.

One day I turned to an old man that was a spiritualist and I told him about the doubts I had of who I am and what I did. I worried about the Cosmic Beings I had encountered upon my journey, the non-physicals that surrounded me and whom invaded my body and spoke through me. I told him I was doubtful of spirituality on a whole, and felt that apart of everything that I was doing was perhaps lunacy– or do I call myself a doubtful Thomas because I doubted myself.

The old man, I call him Chief, threw his head all the way back and laughed. I could see his tonsils dangling in the back of his throat. And when he calmed down, he said,

“Obara, the best type of spiritualist, the one who is on a path or who is consciously awake, is always the doubtful Thomas.” He told me, “The doubtful Thomas speaks of the character of the person because he or she is without fanaticism or stained by superstition or is egotistical in any sort of way. The best chefs are the ones who will taste his food as he cooks, as opposed to the one who cooks and never tastes his pot, confident that he will always deliver a sumptuous meal. While confidence is good, ego never is. And if there are 10 people who claim to be great at something, the greatest one of them is the most nervous of them all.“

His words stayed with me but still, it did not remove the feelings. You see, inside of me, there is honor. There is care. There is compassion. There is love. I know that. Yes, there is the occasional shout and one and two claat or a bombaclaat, bloodclaat, thrown here and there, but that does not define who I really am.

But then came the day when I read an article about the singer Adele. By this time, after many many years, I had gotten over that doubt. I had become confident in who I am and in my work, and this blog has healed me a lot, so those feelings that I had before were now gone. I had self-realized, but it had taken me a very long time.

In that article, I saw that the singer Adele made a comment that for years she had suffered from imposter syndrome. Seeing that word hit me. It was then I realized that all those years, when I wondered about myself, there was a name to explain what I felt, and this was it.

Each and every one of us that walks this Earth is here to serve each other in one way, shape or form. It is for us to discover our purpose, our talent, who we truly are. But there are so many things that can stop us from doing what we have come to do. That is the role of fear, doubt and worry. So when I went through all that I had gone through and came out still feeling as if I was not worthy of doing what I was doing or worried about hurting people by telling them things that they should not hear, my spirit within was confident, but the body that holds the emotion, worried.

I had to write this post because I know many of you are perhaps going through what I had also gone through in the past. Perhaps not as a spiritualist but in other areas of your life. Maybe work, or your social life, or private life, but as the title says truth is stranger than fiction, and your life as you know it, once you have aligned yourself with your consciousness, is your truth. Live it.

Obara Meji

The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance.

Akhenaton